Summer Wine
by Lady Sosostris
Summary: She had been friends with Aoi for ten years now. She had known Aoi's brother for ten years now. But now, ten years into their acquaintance, Mikan finds herself in their house, playing a game of mahjong. Her cheeks flush; her neck burning and her hands faintly shaking. Why? Well... because Natsume's hand is caressing her leg under the table, unknown to everyone else - that's why.
1. Past Devouring

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Alice Gakuen.

 **Past Devouring**

* * *

 _May 2015_

In the same room, ten years later, playing a different game.

A studious silence filled the room, which ten years ago had been bursting with youthful laughter.

Everyone concentrated on the mahjong pieces on the table, waiting impatiently with frequent sighs for their winning piece to come along.

All but Mikan.

Her cheeks were flushed; her neck burning and her hands faintly shaking. She couldn't concentrate for the life of her, as… well, one of her best friend's older brother had his warm, big hand on her thigh.

It couldn't be by accident because it had been there for more than two minutes now. Also, the hand was not idle by the thigh, but stroking and caressing it under the table, unseen by everyone else in the room.

Mikan didn't dare look in Natsume Hyuuga's way.

 _What the fuck is going on! Why is he touching me?!_

Shall we rewind?

* * *

 _2005_

This happened when the girls had one of their first sleepovers.

At the age of ten, this was a big deal. It was a big deal for them all to be under the same roof, past ten on Saturday night. On television, their current favourite film ( _A Cinderella Story,_ duh, I mean _hello_ Chad Michael Murray!); in their hands, copious amounts of sticky sweets, salty crisps and fizzy drinks – all whilst being snuggled and cosied up in warm, thick blankets. Of course, it didn't take five minutes for the blankets (save Hotaru's) to be covered in unknown crumbs. In short, they had turned the living room into a mini movie theatre, littered and bursting with hyper preteen giggles.

(Honestly, now that Mikan thought about it, Mr. Hyuuga was a saint for putting up with the six of them when they were ten.)

This sleepover is important to the narrative. Why? Well…

"Okay gang," Sumire had clapped her hand in an authoritative manner (yes, they used to call themselves a gang…), "it's time for a little game…"

"Ooooh!" Anna had squealed in delight, even though jammy dodgers occupied her mouth. "What kind of game?"

"We should play Chinese whispers!" Nonoko, her twin, had suggested promptly.

"No, no, _no._ " Sumire vetoed such _childish_ proposals. "We are going to plan a game that _teenagers_ play. _Trust me_ , I heard this from my older sister."

Ahh, the 'older sibling' card. This card was the strongest card a preteen could possess if they wanted to seem in power. Why? Because passing on knowledge from the older and cooler teenager siblings gave the gang at the age of ten a sense of power, far beyond the capabilities of their age. It was important for the sibling to be a teenage though – Hotaru's brother, Subaru, for example who was ten years older than them so didn't make the cut. He was _too_ old, and therefore could not provide the gang with _relevant_ and _up-to-date_ information.

Hotaru had stonily replied with a dubious eyebrow raised, "This better not be lame."

" _Trust_ me. Wakako is _fourteen_. She _knows_ what she's talking about."

"How did you find out about the game? Did she tell you?" Aoi had questioned, in a tone that exposed her awe.

"No. Even better." Excited, the gang had leaned in to Sumire eagerly. Sumire had whispered, "I heard her and her friend talking about this game when they were in her room. _Top secret stuff._ "

Mikan had gasped at that point. "Wow…"

"What is it? What is it?

"What's the game?"

"Tell us, tell us!"

"It's called…" Sumire had held her breath in suspense – "… _Truth or Dare."_

The gang had mouthed the name of the game, entranced. Well, all except Hotaru who seemed somewhat disappointed by this great 'revelation'. She didn't hide her displeasure, "That _does_ sound lame."

"No, trust me it's not lame. We all go around in a circle and you have to pick either a truth or dare. If you pick Truth, we get to ask you a question and _you have to answer truthfully_. If you pick Dare, we get to dare you to do something weird or crazy."

Mikan remembered being confused. "What do you mean by weird or crazy? Like… sing a song?"

Sumire seemed exasperated at the example. "No, Mikan! I mean something _really_ crazy… like prank calling someone!"

All the girls giggled at that – the mere thought of prank calling was enough to get all the sugar they had consumed shoot straight up to their brain.

This was being ten.

Even Hotaru looked forward to the prospect of thinking up some devious dares. So, the six of them all huddled themselves into a circle and the game of _Truth or Dare_ began at precisely 10:19pm.

The game only lasted two minutes though. But more about the two minutes, and how it was so rudely interrupted.

"Okay, Aoi, because this is your house you go first."

Nervously, Aoi nodded.

"So, truth or dare? Pick."

"Um…" Aoi had thought hard. Realizing that she had no secrets to hide anyway, she decided to pick: "Truth!"

"Okay, Aoi," Sumire took charge of the situation, and the others let her, for they did not know what kind of questions they should be asking, "my question to you is… do you have a crush on anybody?"

The word 'crush' alone was enough to get them all gasping and laughing. They all looked upon Aoi eagerly, ready to hear a handsome boy's name. All but Mikan. Mikan once again felt confused at this point, and before Aoi could utter a name, she couldn't help but ask, "What do you mean by a crush?"

"You know. Like fancy. I asked Aoi who she fancies."

"I don't fancy anyone."

The girls all laughed at Mikan. Sumire sighed, "Mikan, I wasn't asking _you._ This is Aoi's Truth."

"Sorry!" Mikan giggled, and looked upon Aoi eagerly along with the rest.

Now the attention was on her, Aoi faltered a bit. Aoi had been the newest member of the gang, having moved to Tokyo in the past four months. The girls had been most accommodating to her, and soon enough she felt she could call Tokyo her home.

"Well?" Sumire urged. "Don't make me put a time limit on you!"

Aoi squeaked. "Okay. Well my crush is… Akanishi Jin!"

The year was 2005. _Every_ girl had a crush on Akanishi Jin. This was nothing special, unique or gasp-worthy. Or so Sumire thought: "No, Aoi! It can't be a celebrity crush 'cos that's not _real_ – everyone has a celebrity crush. What I meant was who is your proper crush!"

"I don't have one! Wait… do any of you?!"

They all looked at each other, shocked to think that one of them might like a _real_ boy and not a celebrity boy.

And that's when time ticked to two minutes, and the game ended: the door swung open with a crushing bang, causing the girls to jump in surprise, away from each other in hope to hide the fact they were playing a teenage game.

There stood Aoi's older teenage brother, Natsume.

Natsume was fifteen – five years older than the gang, and so seemed endlessly smarter and experienced than the six girls.

At the age of ten, Mikan thought Aoi's brother was scary – she referred to him only as Aoi's brother and never by his name. He was tall, quiet and always seemed to be frowning, scoffing, grunting or sneering. Yuka, her mother had told her that this was common in teenage boys because of something called hormones when Mikan voiced her small fear in confidence to her mother.

This was the third time Mikan had met Natsume, and once again, he seemed cross at someone, something or maybe just at the world.

"Onii-chan!" Aoi cried, "Don't scare us like that!"

By the looks of it, it seemed that Natsume was unaware (and unimpressed) that Aoi and all her friends were having a sleepover in the living room. Nonetheless, he had curtly bit out, "What are you doing."

"Um, sleepover! I put the memo on the fridge: do not disturb!"

How dare he disturb the Universe!

Natsume looked at all of them in their pajamas with a derisive, superior sneer. "Whatever. I'm going to Luca's party. Don't be too loud – dad needs to sleep at some point."

"We're not!" Aoi obstinately defended her and her friends.

"Well I would keep it down if I were you because I was just about to find out who your _real_ crush was, Aoi."

Aoi went bright red at that, and grabbed her pillow. She aimed, and then launched it in the direction of her good-for-nothing, mean older brother. Snickering, her brother closed the door behind with a nonchalant, "See ya,"and so, the pillow hit the door with a soft, cushiony thud.

Aoi fumed. "Ugh! He's so mean!"

"Shh!" Anna worriedly shushed, "He might hear you again!"

Regardless, Aoi turned to Sumire and viciously answered, "You want to know my real crush? Well, it's _no-one_ because I _hate_ boys! Boys can go to hell!"

"Not all boys are like your brother," Hotaru pointed out in a level-headed voice, "some are nice, I hear."

"He's so scary…" Mikan could help but whisper, which was received with sounds of agreement by Anna and Nonoko, "and…" she paused, scared to say it out-loud, "didn't you say that he… _smokes_?"

They all gasped. Smoking was the worst thing _anybody_ could do.

Solemnly, Anna nodded. "Yup. I saw him." She vehemently continued, "And he goes out drinking with his stupid friends all the time. When _I'm_ a teenager, I'm _not_ going to be anything like him!"

The gang nodded fervently, scared to even think of the possibility that they might be smoking and drinking copiously in five years time. Well, that is all except Sumire. Sumire on the other hand looked _starstruck_.

Sumire didn't hide her admiration, for she squealed, "What are you guys talking about! Natsume-sama is _so_ cool."

"Natsume… _sama?!_ " Nonoko gasped at the revered formality. "Sama?!"

"Cool?! How is being mean and how is smoking and drinking cool?" Aoi demanded to know.

Sumire cleared her throat, ready to recite what she had heard her sister, Wakako, say a few days before: "He's such a tall and good-looking _bad boy_. Like, Leonardo Di Caprio!"

"Leonardo Di What-Now?"

Sumire sighed at her friends' lack of knowledge. "He's a Hollywood actor, duh. He smokes too. He's super cool."

"Wait, wait. Does this mean to be cool we have to do _that_?" Mikan felt her heart beat at the thought of her massacring and reducing her lungs to black soot.

Sumire shrugged. Hotaru denied this immediately and comforted her best friend, "No Mikan. Besides, it's lame for any of you to even care what's cool or not. Fashion changes every year. By the time we are fifteen, it might be considered cool to plant trees and meditate."

Sumire squawked, "What! That's crazy!"

"You never know."

"Well, I have it on good authority," (by that, she meant Wakako), "that Natsume-sama is the most popular boy in his year, and soon enough in _high school_. He's the real deal."

Aoi crossed her arms, "Oh yeah? Well if you like him so much you can be his little sister because frankly, I _quit!_ I want someone like Subaru-nii-chan as my older brother."

Hotaru glowed with Imai pride, and Mikan couldn't help but agree – having Subaru would be miles better than having Natsume as an older brother.

"Ew, no! I don't want him as my _brother_. After all, you can't date your brother."

Silence filled the room for all but six seconds before all the girls burst out: "Sumire! Is _he_ your _real crush?!"_

Proudly Sumire nodded and declared to the room, "Natsume-sama is my crush! _But you can't tell him, especially you Aoi!"_

"I would never admit such atrocity!" Aoi promised, mortified at the thought of her friend liking her brother. "You should reconsider though, seriously! Your taste in men is questionable. Not to mention, as _my_ friend you are probably not allowed to date my brother anyway. I think that's a rule."

This was ten years ago.

Ten years ago, Aoi's older brother intimated Mikan. Ten years ago she was told that dating a close family member was against the rule – and honestly, she had no problem with the rule for she had no intention of breaking it anyway.

A lot had happened in ten years. Granted, they were still all friends but changes occur. Like, they don't call each other a gang anymore (instead, they are a _squad_ in 2015). Mikan is now a social smoker, and rolled her eyes when people told her how she was going to die of lung cancer at the age of forty. They were just finishing up their first year of university, having spent a gap year all together.

2015 so far had been an all-time low for Mikan, consisting of existential crises every other day: loneliness, philosophical bewilderment and asking strangers in bars 'What is the point of everything and my degree', usually in states of inebriation.

Mikan had spent her first year of university more drunk than sober, and had little friends to depend on at her Alice University.

There's nothing to laugh about that.

The six of them had been _the_ gang, _the_ squad from the age of ten, and so for them to go in different directions for university had been a hard change, especially in the first few weeks. Like dandelions, they dispersed, expected to grow, mature and prosper elsewhere, with only the capricious wind as their guide.

But none, it seemed to Mikan, felt the change more severely than herself, who spent nights alone (after two semesters!) watching Netflix whilst text-saving her friends in different cities from disastrous but hilarious date nights.

Mikan's date night total? Zero.

Her love life sucked – it was more severe than 'sucked' really as there was literally no 'sucking' action anyway. It was non-existent. Nil.

But that didn't bother her so much. Only sometimes. It just gnawed at her self-esteem, annoyingly so.

It was more her loneliness at university, lack of friends and her routine of going straight back to halls after lectures that pained her. Especially as she knew her squad had made friends in their new respective cities in their new respective universities.

It wasn't like Mikan was a socially inept. On the contrary, she was friendly, easygoing and could laugh at herself. It was strange – it was as if she had skipped the whole 'finding-yourself' procedure at high school. High school was a breeze: this, being twenty, was a fucking slap in the face alongside a cold splash of _reality_ right in the eye.

Tokyo felt miserable without her friends, but one thing she realized was how dependent she was on her friends, and that scared her.

(Because they didn't seem to need her as much as she needed them. They were happy. She was miserable.)

The wind had not been a kind guide to Mikan.

And so, when Aoi had called her earlier in the week to tell her that she was coming back to Tokyo for two days, Mikan was overwhelmed with happiness, so much so that she wondered whether her exuberant happiness at Aoi's nostos in fact exposed her general recent unhappiness.

Another thing: Mikan did not tell her squad about her depression.

She never thought she would ever be embarrassed by her feelings, yet here she was. She was embarrassed to think she was the only unhappy, unloved and friendless one out of the six.

And well, that's how we get back to our narrative.

Aoi Hyuuga is back in Tokyo in May 2015.

She invites her best friend, Mikan, to her house for dinner.

She opens the door when the doorbell rings, and Mikan is ecstatic at the sight of her, and at the familiar sight and the nutty sandalwood smell of the Hyuuga house, the walls filled with Mr. Hyuuga's paintings of his dead wife, Kaoru. Kaoru seems to Mikan to be saying hello across the universe of Paint.

And now…

"Oh, I can't wait for summer until we are _all_ here back in Tokyo," Aoi gushed, as she took Mikan's coat, "by the way, I love your new hair! It looks fabulous! Oh, and hope you are okay with spaghetti bolognese – my brother's here, and well, you know that's the only thing he can cook…"

"Yes, oh my God, yes. You know I love your brother's spag bol. I haven't had it in ages."

Aoi grinned. "Well, come come! My dad's in the kitchen – he can't wait to see you. Natsume's friends are all here too – the usual idiots, you know them all."

"Familiarity is nice." Mikan smiled, and hugged her friend again.

That was when Natsume appeared. "Hey," he said, casually, "long time no see, Polka Dots."

"You _really_ have to stop with that nickname… that was seven years ago. Get over it."

It was at the age of twelve Mikan decided that she was not scared of Aoi's older brother. Yes, he was seventeen then (which was, to her horror, even scarier than fifteen) and she only twelve, but after two years, she had grown immune to his snide remarks and scoffs once she realized that he wasn't being mean or victimizing, but rather that was just how he was.

And that was fine.

But then _how_ in May 2015 and _why_ did Mikan find herself later that evening playing mahjong with Aoi, Natsume, their father and Natsume's friends in that same living room _with_ Natsume's hand touching her thigh without anyone suspecting the aforementioned intimate caressing?

Well… that's a whole other chapter, really.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hurrah, I've done with exams! Hurrah, it's time for another **Summer writing project**! If you haven't already, check out my 2014 summer writing project called, **'The Break-Up'**. Unlike last year, I will not be updating everyday, but I promise this story will be done before autumn :)

(My other stories? I will update them along the way)

Please drop a review!


	2. Point of Weakness

**A/N** : I don't own Alice Gakuen. Thanks all for the reviews! **I have replied to every review I received before this update – please find them below.**

 **Point of Weakness**

* * *

"Ahh little Mikan! Welcome!" Natsume's friend, Koko greeted when Mikan stepped into the kitchen.

The kitchen was brimming with the smell of Italian food, and it was also crammed with people: everyone in the house was congregated there, waiting for the food to be out of the pan and on the dining table.

"Koko, you really have to stop calling me 'little'. Don't know if you know but I'm twenty, not eight… that is, of course, if you won't mind me calling you an old man."

"O-Old—"

"Twenty-five," jokingly Mikan tutted with Aoi, "half-way to fifty, eh? Tell me, having any quarter-life crises recently? Is that wedding bells or funeral tolls I hear in the distant?"

"Well that makes _me_ feel ancient." Mr. Hyuuga interrupted. Turning, Mikan faced Aoi's father and hugged him to say hello.

"No, no, Mr. Hyuuga. You're the exception in this group."

Natsume's friends (or the 'usual idiots' as Aoi had so fondly dubbed them) consisted of three boys: Koko, Mochu and Luca. Luca had been friends with Natsume since Mikan could remember (that is to say, they were friends when she first met the scary fifteen year old) and Koko and Mochu were both Natsume and Luca's university friends.

They had all graduated now, and were working citizens, earning money and paying taxes alongside boring bills.

The three were like ornaments of the Hyuuga household: whenever she came to their house, it was granted that they would be there, hanging out, drinking in the garden, or 'acting' their age by playing Nintendo video games. They were ornaments… aging ornaments.

Give or take ten minutes later, they were all sat on the dining table, each with a glass of wine and food on their plates.

"So," Luca smiled at Mikan as he passed her the buttered garlic bread, "how you enjoying university, Mikan?"

As convincingly as possible (without seeming insincere) Mikan automatically replied, "It's great! Lots of fun."

Mr. Hyuuga shook his head, " _That's_ what keeps me up at night… it seems like all you girls are having _too_ much fun at this university business. Aoi hardly calls me, and when she does, it's only for ten seconds!"

"That's not true daddy—"

"Too many hot dates?" Mochu winked jokingly.

"That's not funny." Mr. Hyuuga warned.

Sarcastically, Aoi answered, "Yes Mochu, yes daddy: I only have ten seconds to spare because I am jumping from date to date, not because I have to _study,_ because university exists so I can _meet boys,_ not so I can _get a degree_."

Mikan smirked. Because the funny thing was, last time she spoke to Aoi on the telephone, she knew that Aoi _had_ been jumping from date to date: three guys were currently 'courting' Aoi. She kept her mouth shut though, knowing that the truth will make Mr. Hyuuga worry. She couldn't quite hide her amusement at such conversation though.

"You should stay away from boys. Boys are horrible." Mr. Hyuuga said nonetheless. "Just look at all of them," he pointed his fork in the direction of the 'usual idiots', "all of them are _horrible!_ "

"Hey!" Mochu cried in indignation.

"We're not horrible!" Koko defended.

"All you young kids don't know a thing or two about how to treat a girl right. I mean, when was the last time any of you lot had a steady long-term relationship that last more than three months?"

Silence was the response.

"Exactly what I thought. All young kids want these days are fleeting, cheap pleasures and nothing more profound or substantial."

"That doesn't make us _horrible_ ," Luca reasoned, "it just means we are young and easily distracted."

Mikan raised her eyebrows, "Meaning idiotic?"

"No, meaning we just have a lot to learn." Koko offered.

"Oh, enough!" Aoi laughed, snorting. "Daddy, _please_. I've known Natsume was a mean idiot since the day I was born. There's no way I would ever go for anybody as horrible or idiotic as him or his friends."

"Hey!"

"Pa, cut us some slack." Natsume said, shrugging. "It's not all our fault we can't get the right girl to be ours. Circumstances prevent materialization."

Aoi was not impressed by Natsume's defense. "That makes no sense."

Natsume made it simpler: "I just mean life is shit sometimes."

"Language, Natsume…"

"Besides, it's the _girls_ who seem to go for the 'bad boys' anyway," Mochu pointed out, "I mean, between us, Luca is by far the best choice: he has a veterinary degree, which ensures financial security; he's a vegetarian and actually cares about the environment; he goes to the gym, showing he cares about his health; he doesn't smoke or excessively drink – he's actually what people call 'nice', but I would say out of all of us, girls are least interested in him."

Luca nodded, solemnly confirming his undesirable 'nice guy' status.

"Rubbish." Mikan dismissed this. "You're just looking in the wrong places then."

"And Aoi," Mr. Hyuuga interrupted in a fatherly tone, "you shouldn't be looking full stop."

"Dad, I'm twenty. I can look all I want, thank you very much. But I promise I won't ever bring an idiot home for dinner."

Mikan smiled, and tried to help Aoi's case, "Don't worry, Mr. Hyuuga. If any potential boyfriends do come up, they have to go through me, Sumire, Anna, Nonoko and _Hotaru_ first. I would never let any idiot come near her. I'm sure Hotaru would go as far as to annihilate any idiots in Aoi's path anyway."

Mr. Hyuuga nodded, somewhat reassured (especially when remembering Hotaru's fierce hatred of ignorance).

"But what about you, lil Mikan?" Koko asked, grinning. "Any handsome idiots in your life that we should know about?"

"No, Old Man. No handsome or ugly idiots in my life."

"Oooh," Mochu grinned, "is that an invitation?"

"Request denied." Mikan robotically responded with a sardonic smile as Aoi laughed heartily at her friend.

This harsh refusal nonetheless peaked Mochu's interest, "Oooh, Mikan, Mikan, Mikan… tell us all. What's wrong the boys at Alice University? What could possibly be so wrong with them to make you seem so bitterly acidic?"

"Nothing's wrong with them," Mikan replied (this was true – they just weren't her friends), "I'm just not interested."

Mr. Hyuuga clapped approvingly, and nudged Aoi, seemingly hinting to his daughter that this was the response he wanted to hear. As Aoi rolled her eyes in response, Mr. Hyuuga got up to gather the few empty plates, leaving the young'uns in the dining room.

"What does it take to get your interest?" Natsume asked, looking Mikan straight in the eye.

Mikan who had been taking a sip at this point, put her glass down. For a second or two, she gazed at the red wine, perhaps in hope to find the answers there, swirling and to materialize in the rich liquid. Before she could think of a sincere response however, Aoi interrupted this brother-friend interaction: "Ew, Natsume, stop being creepy with _my_ friend."

"I was just asking her—"

"Well I'll answer because I know Mikan like the back of _my_ hand. Mikan's future boyfriend is going to have to be fucking—"

"Language, Aoi!" Mr. Hyuuga's voice echoed from the kitchen.

"—extraordinary to get her attention. I mean, she's beautiful _and_ smart, but she's never had a boyfriend. Y'all know why? She's got high standards, and rightly so! She knows she deserves the best."

Behind Aoi, Mikan felt embarrassed and sad to hear such things: none of the things Aoi said rung truth. She was not beautiful (pretty, at best, only with some makeup on, from certain angles) and had an average intellectual capacity. She had never had a boyfriend because no one ever showed any romantic interests, not because she had turned down many or any pining potential suitors.

Glancing at Mikan, then back at Aoi, Natsume elucidated, "I never said she didn't deserve the best."

Mikan didn't have any siblings. So, the sincere tone in Natsume's tone made her faintly smile back at him, in what she hoped to be a thankful sisterly manner. It would have been nice to have an older sibling, Mikan thought. Perhaps then she could have gotten some advice about her recent university slash life problems.

"Bring in dirty plates!" Mr. Hyuuga's voice rung from the kitchen.

Complying, they all stood up one by one, piling dishes and gathering cutlery. When Aoi took Mikan's plates with a wink, Mikan thanked her, and decided to stay back to collect the dirty cups and wine glasses.

"Here," Natsume passed her two cups.

"Thanks, Natsume." She took it from him. Just before stepping out of the dining room to go to the kitchen, Mikan turned around to face him and confessed once and for all, "Just to clarify: it doesn't take much to get my interest. He just needs to be the right guy for me."

* * *

When all the plates, cups and cutlery were piled in the dishwasher, Koko said he felt like playing a game of mahjong. The Hyuugas were known for their love of mahjong: in their house, they had a proper electrical mahjong table, where the pieces were shuffled and distributed automatically rather than manually.

"But there's too many of us." Mikan pointed out. Mahjong was played in groups of four, and present number including herself stood at seven. To solve the problem, she suggested, "I'll sit out the first round. I was never really that good at mahjong anyway."

"Oh shut up, Mikan – you're plenty good." Aoi pointed out.

"It's not skill I have – it's _luck_."

"We'll all team up." Natsume resolved the issue. "Pa will be alone 'cos he's the best. The rest of us will be in teams of two."

Mr. Hyuuga raised his eyebrow. "Wow, you're being modest today Natsume. Everyone here knows you're the best, but no matter. I'll take the compliment anyway." Mr. Hyuuga sat down.

"No. I just have skill… no luck." Natsume explained, before he turned to Mikan, "I think we should be a team. With your luck and my skill we could win."

"My good sir, you had me at the word 'win'." Mikan laughed, before she took a seat. Natsume pulled a chair closely beside her, and sat himself down.

Aoi cried in indignation, "Mikan, you traitor! You abandon your best friend just for the glory of winning!"

"Veni, vidi, vinci!" Mikan triumphantly responded with a fist pump. "All heroes are remembered for their victories, not by their losses. This world doesn't remember losers, or if and when they do, only with derisive sneers."

Aoi joined Koko's force after much convincing on his part, so Luca and Mochu formed the last team. Mr. Hyuuga took the position of North, Mikan and Natsume were East, Aoi and Koko South and Luca and Mochu West.

It all began.

The game, not the thigh-stroking. That will happen six minutes into the game.

Nothing in the six minutes leading up to the thigh-stroking incident suggested that such incident would ever occur under the mahjong table. In the fifth minute, Mikan called out for Rīchi, and so all Natsume and Mikan had to do was wait. And when their turn passed, and the clock struck (signaling the sixth minute into the game), Mikan felt Natsume's fingers ghost and skim her knee.

At this point, she thought it was a mere accident, and slightly moved her leg, thinking herself thoughtful to move for Natsume's hand. She even glanced at Natsume with an apologetic grin (for Christ's sake!).

But it just kept happening. So much so that she stopped glancing in his direction, and her eyes focused painfully on the mahjong pieces in front of her. Her mind was deteriorating however, wildly and passionately perplexed – baffled! – that Aoi's older brother was caressing her leg unbeknown to the rest of the room.

 _What do I do? What the hell. Why—what the fuck! Do I tell him to stop? But in front of everyone here? Wouldn't that embarrass him—no, Mikan, why are you_ letting _this happen! He is touching you without consent –HE IS BREAKING THE RULES OF CONSENT, AND YOU ARE BEING SILENT. What do I do? What do I—oh my… did he just… is he stroking my thigh?! Is this for real? What the hell? Natsume – what – huh – what am I – what is_ he _– what is going on…_

Her mind did not shut up, accelerating and ripping through her brain, pummeling to her heart, causing her heartbeat to erratically thrash like a dying animal in its last seconds. Natsume's warm hand rubbed, up and down, almost expertly, as if he had done this to many other women before. The fine hairs stood sharply, quivering in anticipation of the next path his fingers might wander through.

 _I can't… what am I doing here again? Mahjong! What piece am I… what am I… —_

Her answer came then, for Natsume said, "Lon!" picking up their winning piece. That's when the stroking stopped and Mikan's breathing resumed.

The fact that he knew what piece they were waiting for and managed to Lon it said a lot to Mikan, for she couldn't even remember what piece her they needed to win. Clearly his mind was not frazzled, dazzled and puzzled like hers by his actions.

A haunting thought crept in her mind when she remembered that Luca was sitting on the other side of Natsume. _Maybe… maybe he got confused, and thought he was stroking Luca… I mean, Aoi always said there was a chance that Luca and Natsume were secretly dating… —oh, God, Mikan! Of course not! He would have noticed in the first two seconds the difference between Luca's and my leg!... But then, what… what was he doing… why… what… or am I going crazy…?_

Aoi was whining about Mikan and Natsume's win when Mikan abruptly stood up from her seat, interrupting.

Mr. Hyuuga's fatherly instincts kicked in: "Mikan, you okay? You're red!"

"I-I…" _Well, Mr. Hyuuga, unless there is a perverted ghost lurking under the table, I think your son just caressed my leg intimately without my permission._

Aoi cheekily smiled, "It's the wine. Mikan metamorphoses into the red traffic light when she drinks wine."

She was pretty sure it was _not_ the wine, but for once, she exploited her weak tolerance to alcohol. "Yeah, alcohol-flush. So, I'm just going to step out into the garden for a second, or two… or a minute or so. Just need to refresh, yup. Refresh." Clumsily, she pushed herself away from the table, and stumbled out of the room.

She heard Mochu's barking laughter, cackling, "She's tipsy after a glass at dinner! Hah!" when she stepped into the hallway, in search of her shoes. She really needed to step out, and calm down for a moment.

Once her shoes were on, Mikan stepped out into the Hyuuga's garden. It was small, but overflowing with rippling, churning flowers and ivy. She patted her pockets, and found her cigarettes and her lighter. Seeing that there was an ashtray on the small garden table (most likely Natsume's), she thought it would be alright to indulge in her unhealthy, smoky habit.

Once lit, she got her thoughts lined up: _right. That was nothing, Mikan. You were probably making a big deal out of nothing. He probably didn't realize, or something…_

She tried desperately to convince herself that what just happened didn't actually happen. Such actions were futile, as in the midst of creating her palpably thick thoughts, the garden door opened behind her, and so her thoughts burst like a balloon, losing all its coherent structuring.

Indeed, as her worse fears whispered, it was Natsume who had just entered the garden (penetrated her bubble) to be with her.

"You smoke? That's new."

Mikan nodded. She took a heavy drag, hoping that it would prolong her silence casually. It had quite the opposite effect however: having inhaled too deeply, she started to cough painfully.

"You alright?"

Mikan froze. She had definitely picked up on his tone: he was _concerned_ for her wellbeing – he had asked in such a sincere way! _Wha… what is happening… what…_

"Yeah, fine," Mikan hoarsely answered, forcing a smile in his direction, "just brilliant." She reminded herself that Natsume had been concerned for her when she was younger too – this was nothing new, so nothing to be rasping about…

… all the same…

He joined her: he too lit up a cigarette, and moved closer beside her.

"So, when did you pick up smoking?"

"I smoke only very rarely," Mikan explained, "only on occasion."

"What's the occasion now?"

Mikan looked at him, in which she hoped to be a pointed manner, but at the sight of him looking down at her waiting for a response, she clammed up. "Needed the fresh air… I guess?"

This was all very strange to Mikan: she hadn't had this problem of being scared or nervous of speaking to Natsume in _eight_ years! And this time, it was not because he was the older, angst-ridden teenager, but instead, because he had been intimate with her.

Should she address this ginormous elephant in the garden?!

"Why'd you start?"

"Um… well, at the time I started, it seemed like the right thing to do? I don't know. Why did you start?"

Natsume snorted, "Because I was a stupid fifteen year old who thought it was cool to be sucking on some stupid cancer stick."

Mikan couldn't help snicker at that. "Well I guess I started because I _am_ a stupid twenty year old who thinks it's cool to be sucking on some stupid cancer stick." It was funny she thought, until she realized that she had said the word 'sucking' and that 'stick' rhymed with 'prick'…

Great. Now all she could think about were blowjobs.

 _You are such a dirty-minded stupid girl, Mikan! Get thee to a nunnery!_

"I don't think you're stupid." Natsume said, dispelling her vicious Hamlet-to-Ophelia rant screaming in her head. "But I do remember when I was twenty-three, and you eighteen, you told me that you thought that only unhappy or nervous people smoke to cover up their unhappiness or shyness. Do you still stick by that?"

"I guess not. Maybe. I don't know."

Silence followed after Mikan's vague statement, and then Natsume broke it by admitting, "The funny thing is… I would have never admitted it to you at the time, but I thought what you were saying was true. At least, half-true. People have different reasons, but I know that for me, I started to smoke because I wanted to seem like a fucking badass. Which is so fucking stupid now I think about it. It just shows that I was a nervous shit at fifteen, who needed to hide behind cigarettes. And for what? Smoker's cough? This stupid addiction has lasted ten years of my life."

In all her time spent at the Hyuuga's, she had never heard anything so personal come from Natsume. In that moment, she really truly forgot about the incident earlier, and could now only concentrate on Natsume's words.

"I-I… I guess I do still believe that. To an extent." Mikan elaborated, "I mean… starting is the point of weakness. Continuing to smoke, well, that's the nicotine doing its job."

"What," Natsume softly asked, "was the point of weakness for you? When did it happen?"

She didn't know what possessed her. Or why she thought this was a good idea. But Mikan found herself telling Natsume something she had not told even his little sister, Aoi, or any of her other friends, "I'm actually having trouble at university. Before I knew it, I was a smoker. So, I guess I had many points of weakness, which just culminated into," she flicked her cigarette, "this."

Natsume seem concerned. "Trouble?"

"It's nothing serious. It's just… I feel like I'm just _there_. I can't explain it very well… in fact, I haven't really voiced this out before." She peaked at Aoi's older brother and confessed, "I haven't even told Aoi, or any of the other girls. So please keep this to yourself…"

Natsume seem to have understood. He nodded. He didn't pry however: "You must miss Aoi and the others a lot."

Embarrassingly, Mikan felt her eyes warm in the presence of hot tears, "I do." She did her utmost best to not let the tears fall, only to moisten and glisten her eyes.

Natsume stepped closer then. He didn't touch her, but something about the warm air made Mikan feel as if she was being embraced anyhow. "Well," again, his voice was soft, "you can always ring or text me if you need to talk, or whenever you're going through another 'point of weakness'… I can give you my number." There was a pause, before Natsume quickly added, "You know, if Aoi or the others are busy, or something."

The mention of texting (which in the 21st century is a synonym of 'flirting') immediately reminded Mikan of the earlier hand-thigh incident. Flustered once again, she unevenly replied, "Oh! Text. Well, okay then." Automatically, she fished her phone out of her pocket.

Natsume took her phone, and tapped his number in before saving him in her contacts, not as 'Aoi's (Out of Bounds) Brother' but as 'Natsume'. He gave her back her phone, with typically 'Natsume' look on his face, very, very casually.

As if he always gave his number away to his little sister's friends.

(Mental note: offhandedly ask Sumire, Anna, Nonoko and Hotaru whether they have Natsume's number to double-check if this is normal or something to be worried about)

"Thanks, I guess." She waved her phone pointedly. "Hopefully I won't have any more 'points of weakness' in my third term, so I won't have to call or text you." She inserted a forced laugh, which she prayed sounded natural to Natsume's ears. "Cig's done," she probably didn't need to narrate her life, but it seemed easier to leave this way, "so I'm going back in. See you!"

Stubbing the cigarette, Mikan left Natsume in the garden.

As she took her shoes off, her mind immediately raced: dare she tell any of the squad the happenings of tonight? But surely not Aoi – how would she react?! Brother-friend was, no, _is_ a big no-no. But tell the others and not tell Aoi? That can't be right! Not to mention, Sumire would probably over-dramatize everything: after all, Mikan could have been imagining the intensity of it all… after all, it was _her_ that thought of blowjobs in the garden, not _him_ (well, who knows what was going through his head– either way, her mind proved dirty).

Hotaru would probably kill Natsume for the non-consensual touching under the table.

The 'under the table' scenario made Mikan blush as she neatly put her shoes together. It was so… naughty. Like, school-girl naughty.

 _Mikan! You perverted, corrupted – agh! Get thee to a nunnery!_

She snapped herself out of it.

She decided that she would keep this to herself. Then, it saddened her to think that she was keeping a lot to herself recently.

But this… this she would keep to herself because she didn't want to believe or acknowledge that what had just happened was a big deal. It may have seemed like Natsume was flirting with her, but at the end of the day, this was not a matter, let alone a problem she should be dwelling on, simply because the solution was so simple: ignore it. Ignore, ignore, ignore. After all, he's Aoi's older brother.

Not to mention she had no romantic feelings, let alone felt any attraction towards him.

She had no intention of calling him, points of weakness or not. She would keep the number though, just in case (in the far future), she organized a surprise birthday party for Aoi. She might need the number then. But until then, she wouldn't touch it, and just let the number sit in her phone and go stale, like the way bread does in the open air.

 _Stale like that crummy crust of bread, the left and forgotten breakfast food._

* * *

 **A/N:** The mahjong I describe in this chapter is the Japanese version of the game. You can find the rules online (far too long to explain…) but I will say, Natsume calls for 'Lon' – the winning call – but it is actually written as 'Ron'. I used the 'L' because I did not want to confuse English readers (lol, Natsume just shouts out Ron, for Ron Weasley).

Review replies:

 **BlackMaskedBeauty** : Glad this story has already become another one of your favourites – after only one chapter! Yes, I was definitely trying to show the difference between youth and early adulthood: how childish concerns change over the years, and are replaced by the trials of adulthood. Hope you liked this chapter, hope to hear from you again.  
 **Anilissa** : Hope my update pleased you! Thanks so much for the review.  
 **StarElsie** : Hope this didn't disappoint. Thanks for reviewing!  
 **biopolarwriter101** : Hope I updated fast enough, and I am happy to hear you found the first chapter interesting. Hopefully this second chapter was just as, if not more interesting to you. Thanks so much for reviewing.  
 **Ayame-hime** : Thanks so much! Hope to hear from you again.  
 **MelodyString** : Three seconds, three words: thank you friend!  
 **Guest 1** : Unfortunately I cannot make Mikan have more friends, because that makes up the foundation of this story: loneliness. Loneliness is the essence of this story. I have purposely made Mikan friendless at her university so she can experience different emotions: prior to this, loneliness was a foreign concept to my Mikan. I wanted to explore feeling left-out etc. and wanted to write about it. Hope you still read my story however. Thanks for the review!  
 **Guest 2** : Hey! Thanks so much for your review. You will be seeing the rest of the chapters for this story within this summer. As for updating the rest of my stories… they will be more sporadic. Nonetheless, I hope this chapter makes up for that announcement. Hope to hear from you again!  
 **Guest 3** : Glad you like it. Thanks for dropping your review!  
 **jeje** : Hello, I'm glad you like this story. I will be updating perhaps once a week? Maybe once every two weeks. Either way, I will be done with this story by September this year. Thanks for the review!

Also, thank you to **Chethana** – I know you reviewed my other story, **Resistance** , but I just wanted to say I'm glad you discovered my stories through **Summer Wine**. If you have time, please leave some feedback for my other stories, and this story too! Thanks very much :)

 **Please review! See you soon.**


	3. What's Up Whatsapp

**A/N:** Short chapter ahoy – a necessary filler, perhaps. And I don't own Alice Gakuen.

 **What's Up Whatsapp**

* * *

It was hard when Aoi left. The two days she had been back in Tokyo had been a breath of fresh air (except of course the little hand-on-thigh-under-the-table blip), and now she had gone, Tokyo seemed even duller, mustier than before, and completely and utterly infested with lifeless people, that made Mikan apathetic, and sigh frequently. She was immured, she felt, in the country's stale capital city.

Sitting in her lecture, Mikan pretended to write notes, pretending that these useless sentences will one day be useful to her and pretending that it didn't bother her that no-one took a seat beside her in the lecture hall.

She wondered how many people sitting in this room knew her name. She pondered what people thought when they saw her: 'oh, there goes that awkward girl that no-one really knows' or perhaps 'who is she?' or even 'does she even take this module'?

Mikan knew for certain that no one cared.

She wished she was more like Hotaru – Hotaru didn't care about these matters. People could call Hotaru 'awkward' and she'd just respond with an uncaring shrug. Mikan wanted to shrug it off too, but such a simple act proved harder than she thought, for her mind would not allow her to be so nonchalant.

Third term was predictably average. Again, she was just _there_ , a plant pot in a flowery room, alone and useless.

In these classes, she had no friends, opinions nor a voice.

She was simply automatic, awkward and alone.

 _I'm Nobody! Who are you?  
Are you – Nobody – too?_

Her phone then lit up.

Being in the back (and being in university where professors didn't care so much), she looked at her phone, which was suddenly overflowing with messages from the Squad's group Whatsapp chat. Messages and messages were pouring in, fertilizing and flourishing the dead land, and so she unlocked her phone, eager to join this lively and brimming virtual conversation…

 _Aoi_ : It's on, it's on!  
 _Permy:_ Babe, be specific. What's on? Television?  
 _Aoi:_ THIS IS NOT A DRILL! It's on!  
 _Nonoko_ : What's going on?  
 _Anna_ : What's on?  
 _Aoi:_ Summer 2015, of course!  
 _Hotaru_ : I hate summer. Too hot.  
 _Mikan_ : Always the ray of sunshine, Hotaru  
 _Aoi:_ Trust me you guys are going to love this. Even you, Hotaru!  
 _Permy:_ Hel-LO! Tell us what's on! What's happening in the summer?

(The summer holidays were two weeks away)

 _Aoi_ : My father has said yes! We can all go to my family's holiday home in Karuizawa for as long as we want!  
 _Permy_ : OMG YOU'RE KIDDING.  
 _Hotaru_ : Good. Karuizawa is considerably cooler than Tokyo in the summer.  
 _Mikan_ : OMG  
 _Anna:_ OMG!  
 _Nonoko_ : !  
 _Aoi:_ And guys… my license is finally going to come into use… THIS WILL BE OUR FIRST ROAD TRIP TOO!

(Whatsapp conversation burst and melted into a pure goo of excitement at this point)

It was true – this would be the girl's first 'road' trip, in the sense that they themselves would be driving out of Tokyo to go to Karuizawa, found nestled in the mountains away from the burning summer city.

 _Mikan_ : Let's go asap. As soon as y'all are back!  
 _Nonoko_ : Agreed!  
 _Anna_ : Excellent.  
 _Sumire_ : Summer getaway here we come!  
 _Hotaru_ : The quicker we get out of Tokyo, the better.  
 _Aoi_ : Okay, let's skype call tonight, come up with a date and I will let my daddy know.

In that moment, it didn't matter that no-one was sitting next to Mikan, or that her lecturer was completely dull, inspiring only unrelated daydreams. Because Mikan had something to truly look forward to: a summer reunion with her favourite people in the world.

The dust lifted from her heart, and as Mikan looked outside the window and saw a bird fly, she thought perhaps this city wasn't so lifeless after all.

 _How dreary – to be – Somebody!_

* * *

 **A/N:** I know this is a short chapter, but fear not, the next chapter's length and content should hopefully make up for it.

 **Karuizawa (according to Wikipedia):** Karuizawa is a popular tourist spot for people from Tokyo, who travel to Karuizawa to get away from the city especially in summer. If anyone has seen **Ouran Host Club** , it's where the whole lot of them (save Haruhi) have second homes.

 **I'm Nobody! Who are you? – disclaimed!** Emily Dickinson's delicious little poem, not mine.

Review replies!  
 **StarElsie** : Thank YOU for the review!  
 **BlackMaskedBeauty** : Yay, glad I portray 'goals', haha. I completely know what you mean, friend. Thanks again for reviewing!  
 **Anillisa** : You will find out later on whether or not Natsume had his 'eyes' on Mikan from an earlier age… Be excited. In the next chapter you will definitely see some development between them! Thanks for the review!  
 **Ai Sakura** : Oh, oh, oh, don't my friend, this story will not be dramatic. I plan to finish this by September – no time for intricate plot twists. I want this story to be more of a 'slice of life' fic rather than a dramatic narrative. Thanks for the review!  
 **Guest** : More character development to come (other characters too) so be excited for that! Glad you're enjoying it thus far. Thanks for the review!  
 **YellowOrangeRed** : Dear Friend, THANK YOU FOR THE CAPITILISIED REVIEW! Glad you love it.  
 **Guest** : Glad you like it, thanks for the review!  
 **Ayame-hime** : Sorry this chapter isn't so long, or so interesting but I felt it was necessary. Stay tuned for the next chapter – it will be lengthy and full of exciting conversations!  
 **Chethana917** : Aw, so sweet! I'm so glad you like my writing style. I am trying my best to capture life, I suppose… it's so hard though! And **Resistance** … hmm… hopefully I will update soon! Thanks for the review.  
 **iamfx908** : Thanks for the review! Glad you're enjoying my story so far.  
 **Natsumemikan123** : Yes, Natsume is very naughty haha. Their relationship will progress, fear not!  
 **CrimsonPrincess14** : Hope my update wasn't too slow. Thanks for the review!

 **Next chapter will come soon (probably Sunday). It's very long and filled with dangling conversations … :)**


	4. June

**A/N** : here is the length chapter I promised you all! Enjoy.

 **June**

* * *

June came – the lusty month of greenery, magic, fairies and Midsummer!

Early that morning, Mikan said goodbye to her loving parents with a suitcase, filled with necessities that would last her a month. There was promise lingering in the air, she thought, as she took the train to Aoi's house.

The plan was to meet at the Hyuuga's house, pack all the suitcases in Aoi's car, and then drive off into the distance, to Karuizawa.

She had never felt so liberated as she heaved her suitcase: the lazy stretching months of summer had begun; First year was over… she could anything with these months before her. Anything. Infinite freedom! She didn't even feel the slightest bit annoyed when some rude teenager shoved her to hog a seat – _let him be!_ Her mind sung, shrugging, uncaring.

Rolling her suitcase in the direction of Aoi's house, Mikan felt her excitement rise at the sight of her friends all standing around Aoi's car, surrounded by suitcases.

"Guys!"

"You're late!" Sumire reprimanded, but in an obviously affectionate tone. They all jumped onto Mikan once she was close enough, hugging her, telling her simultaneously how much they had missed her, and how great her new haircut looked.

Mikan then noticed how they were surrounded, encased, by suitcases. "Um… how much are you guys bringing?!"

"It's all Aoi," Hotaru explained, "she's bringing her whole room and half the kitchen."

"Trust me!" Aoi insisted, "We are going to need all these pots and pans! And the iron and ironing board!"

"Trust _me_ ," A voice grumbled from behind, "you're not going to need any of this crap."

It was Natsume. Smiling, Mikan greeted Aoi's older brother, "Hey!"

Then…it all came back – she remembered what had happened a month ago. It was as if the memory came crashing into her mind, full-speed, ripping through her memory channels. She remembered Natsume touching her, and Natsume flirting (?) with her. Mikan had honestly completely forgotten about this… _situation_ – he was the switch, the catalyst – the sight of him shone light onto the bewildering past, as well as causing a serious internal reaction.

Prior to this switch slash catalyst, she hadn't given it, the situation, _Natsume_ , a second thought.

Now, suddenly, she felt flustered. None of her friends seemed to have noticed however, for they resumed their tittering argument on how they could fit all the suitcases in the car, thinking in terms of Tetris.

"Hey," Natsume coolly answered, giving her that standard boyish nod.

Mikan noticed he too had a suitcase in his hand. "Helping pack Aoi's sixteen suitcases? That's awfully nice of you." Mikan teased. She hoped if she acted like her usual self, her bubbling and frothing embarrassment underneath wouldn't reveal itself.

He raised his eyebrow, scoffing in a joking manner. "Me? Nice? Never. I'm not helping – this," he lifted the suitcase effortlessly, "is mine."

"Y-Yours?" she couldn't help the stutter. She couldn't help it. She didn't quite understand, but a fear gnawed her mind now, and she asked (in hopes to understand), "Are you going on holiday too?"

Natsume frowned. "I'm going to Karuizawa."

"Karuizawa?! Now? With us?"

"Yeah, didn't Aoi tell you?"

Mikan shook her head, trying her best to reign in her flabbergast.

"Well yeah. The boys and I are going up. Pa said he'd only let Aoi go if I went."

"Well… that's very noble of you to come." That was the only answer she could conceive of at that point.

Could this be possible? Was this a joke?

 _No, Mikan, calm down. This is nothing to fret about. Why? Well, because whatever happened before was nothing of importance. Besides, Aoi said her house in Karuizawa was huge. It was not as if we are going to be confined to the same room – surely my friends and his friends will do different things during the day and evening anyway – we're not a huge group, no, no, we're two separate friendship groups, separated by five years! We don't usually all hang out, so why should we start now?_

"So, no other summer plans?" she asked, after she resolved the internal conflict in her head.

"Not really. Don't have much of a holiday to begin with."

 _Ah, of course. Natsume worked. He was a real adult._

"Hey Mikan,"

Mikan looked past Natsume to see Koko, Luca and Mochiage all smiling, albeit tiredly. But more importantly, all carrying suitcases too.

At this point she only had one pressing question: "How the hell are we going to fit all these suitcases in one car?"

"Two cars," Natsume corrected, "I'm taking my car too."

At that point, Sumire saved her, by demanding that she come help stuff Aoi's suitcases into the car. She complied, walking over to the girls quickly and grabbed the end of the suitcase that Aoi had been single-handedly heaving towards the trunk.

"You – never – mentioned – that – your – brother – and – friends – were – coming – I – thought – this – was – a – girl's – getaway," Mikan panted – the suitcase was incredibly heavy.

Sweating, Aoi grunted out her response: "Dad's – condition – not – my – doing – trust – me – but – don't – worry – they – won't – hurt – a – fly – they – won't – bother – us," They finally managed to get the suitcase in. Aoi wiped the sweat on her forehead with a relieved sigh, before adding, "They can't stay long anyway. They're just taking their yearly holiday leave now."

Mikan did not comment – she could not, because before she could, Hotaru's voice announced, "That's it. This car won't fit any more suitcases. The rest will have to stay, Aoi."

"But—"

"Aoi, that was not a suggestion. That was declaration." Hotaru interrupted, her tone firm. Clearly the searing Tokyo sun was not helping her temper. "We can't pile anymore on top of the rest, or else you won't be able to see rear window and that's dangerous."

Aoi's car was Mr. Hyuuga's old car – it was a big, sturdy family car that could hold seven passengers. That's why Sumire proposed, "Why don't we use the two seats in the back? We can put the last three suitcases there – they are smaller than the rest."

"Yeah, but there's six of us." Nonoko pointed out. "If we use the two back seats, there will be four people in three seats."

"I don't want to be squished!" Anna said. "It's hot enough already."

"Shot-gun." Hotaru calmly stated making everyone else groan at the thought they really will become squished sardines in a few minutes.

This 'road-trip' did not seem to be starting on the right foot. The promise that Mikan had sniffed in the air earlier had been replaced by heavy, sweaty, humid scent of summer Tokyo.

Then, Luca called them: "Are you ready? Natsume wants to leave now."

Aoi glanced at Luca before looking at all her friends. "Okay girls. I will sacrifice myself."

"Huh?"

"Mikan, you have a driver's license, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Alright; you drive my car. I'll get in Natsume's car – his car is a five-seater. That way none of us will be cramped, and we can get to Karuizawa with all the necessities." Aoi clarified.

"You're crazy!" Sumire laughed. "You do realize this problem can be solved if you just sacrifice the three suitcases?!"

"No," Aoi whined, "no, no! I've got games in there!"

"… Aoi…"

Aoi was determined – she handed Mikan her car keys before instructing, "Just follow Natsume's car. We'll make sure you can always see us."

"B-But… Aoi! This was supposed to be all of our road-trip!" Mikan said, "And what if I crash your car?!"

"Just imagine there is a knife sticking out of the steering wheel," Sumire answered, "and if you break or turn too hard, it will stab you. If you imagine that, you won't crash." All the girls turned to look at her with confusion and slight concern. "What," Sumire casually shrugged, "I learnt it in a psychology module."

"What are you all doing?" It was Natsume. The girls' dawdling did clearly not impress him. "We need to leave now. We need to drive while it's still light – the mountains are dangerous to drive at night."

Aoi quickly explained the problem to her brother. Now, he looked even more unimpressed. "This is no _Catch-22_ dilemma: just get rid of the three suitcases." His tone revealed his impatience with his little sister.

"But I can't…"

It was deja-vu: the conversation went around the same circle once again, coming around to Aoi's suggestion that Mikan drive her car.

"Are you crazy," Natsume responded, "Polka doesn't know the way—"

 _That nickname has to go._

"She can follow your car!"

"— _and_ , more importantly, she's not insured on your car."

"… Mikan won't crash the car—"

"Won't I?" Mikan nervously squeaked, not feeling too confident.

"Mikan's never driven on the motorway before." Anna pointed out, a bit worried now.

At this point, Sumire and Hotaru looked at each other, exchanged looks, and left for the Aoi's car: Hotaru opened the passenger's seat for herself, and Sumire the back-seat door and they both climbed in without another word. Clearly, the two girls were done with this discussion. Mikan heard Sumire demand, "Put the air-conditioner on!" inside the car.

"…So what?" Aoi turned to her brother for advice. "What should we do?"

Natsume assessed the situation for two seconds. "Two options. One, you get rid of the three suitcases—" he firmly put his hand up when Aoi opened her mouth, "two, Mikan comes with me."

Even though it was already hot, so, so hot, Mikan burned.

"What do you mean? You mean, I drive my car and Mikan goes with you, in your car?"

"What else could I mean?" Natsume deadpanned.

Anna and Nonoko bit their lips: clearly they were thinking the same thing ( _this ruins our road trip_ …).

Mikan on the other hand was thinking something else entirely ( _why do I have to go – why can't Anna, Nonoko, Sumire or Hotaru go. Okay, maybe not Hotaru. But why not the others?!_ ). But more pressing, Mikan was also reflecting thus: _We need to go now. Aoi absolutely refuses to give up her suitcases. I must volunteer, do this, all for the sake of the greater good. For Karuizawa. For the hope of cool, mountain air. For Hotaru's sanity. For Summer. For the Squad._

"Option 2 it is." Mikan decided, taking the Cross.

"But Mikan—" Aoi cried. Oh alas, her poor, good selfless friend! Oh alas, alas! Selflessly carrying the burden of the Squad! What graciousness!

"Aoi. It's decided." Natsume interrupted his little sister with a tone of finality. "Get in the car."

Aoi bit her lip, feeling guilty. Mikan simply squeezed her cheek. "It's fine, Aoi. I just call shot-gun on the way back home."

"Deal."

Mikan parted with her friends, and followed Natsume in the direction of his car.

"Because you were so gracious," Natsume's voice was laced with sarcasm at this point, "you can have the passenger seat."

"Really?"

Really: Natsume kicked Koko to the back seat alongside Mochu and Luca.

"Ah excellent," Mochu said, "the cosier the better." He seemed sincere too, for he put his head on Koko's shoulder (Luca's shoulder was the slightest bit too high for Mochu to place his head comfortably).

As Mikan did her seatbelt, Natsume explained, "They had a rough night last night."

"Oh yeah?"

Koko confirmed, "We're exhausted." On cue, he yawned, "We just can't drink the same way we did at eighteen… when I was eighteen I could chug pint after pint, but now…" he groaned, "hangovers at every turn."

"Aww, poor Old Man." Mikan cooed, teasingly, looking at the backseat. True to his word, they did seem sleep-deprived – they were all nestling into one another comfortably. "Are _you_ okay?" she asked Natsume. "Not hungover? Can you drive?"

"I didn't drink last night. I'm fine."

Mikan turned again to look at Natsume's friends. Just the sight of them alone made _her_ feel sleepy.

She yawned.

Noting that Aoi had finally started her engine, Natsume started his, bringing his car to life.

And they were off! Off on their adventure! Off to the mountains! Off to discover a new, cool world away from Tokyo! Free!

… five minutes later, Natsume was the only awake one in his car.

* * *

Mikan's neck hurt. She had fallen asleep with her neck turned to the window, and now it ached. With her eyes still closed, hissing slightly, she turned and stretched her neck.

Then, she registered _Scarborough Fair_ playing.

She opened her eyes. In front of her, countryside scenery: distant mountains were running along the scenery, fields were blurring with each other, and the trees seemed to be kissing each other.

"You're awake."

Mikan hummed, feeling that sleepy-daze exacerbated by the music. _Scarborough Fair_ – there was nothing quite like it. Dreamy, hazy, luxurious, rich, languid … the voices blending in together like butter and jam on a scone, rolling on a cloud, in a faraway corner of the universe, consisting of analogue films and simplicity …

She couldn't help but softly sing, " _Washed is the ground with so many tears…"_

"You like _Simon and Garfunkel_?"

Mikan smiled. "You have no idea."

She turned to look at Natsume when he spoke: "Aoi used to take your music when you were all still at school." This was a fact: Aoi did indeed used to sync her iPod with Mikan's iTunes, claiming that she liked Mikan's music. "I have a rough idea on what kind of music you like. Lots of 60s music. Classical, too."

Mikan laughed. "I hope you're being nice right now."

Natsume slightly shrugged. "Classical is timeless. The 60s had some good shit."

"That's an oxymoron."

Suddenly, Mochu let out a croaking snore from the backseat.

Mikan couldn't help but giggle.

"They've been out cold for an hour. You too."

"Must have been a quiet journey so far. No one to talk to."

"I was in the company of _Mrs. Robinson_. Not exactly a quiet journey." Mikan smiled, appreciating the joke. " _Your_ snores also chimed in, now and then."

The smile faded. "I don't snore—"

"You squeak. It's weird."

"Ah, yes. I can confirm I do squeak in my sleep, according to many reliable sources."

The conversation halted there, and Mikan stared outside her window, listening and imaging the watercoloured Scarborough Fair, with all its pipes and chimes. " _Remember me to one who lives there…"_

Natsume pulled Mikan back into reality, away from her watercolour world, "So I'm guessing the last few weeks of university were alright?"

"Huh?"

"You never called me. You didn't call for help."

 _Scarborough Fair_ melted away. No longer could Mikan hear its melodies. All she could hear now was a buzz, ringing in her ear. She had been so comfortable in the passenger seat, but now, her back was rigidly straight. She did not expect in a thousand years for Natsume to bring this up. "Oh. Right. Yeah, the last few weeks were alright."

Natsume paused, and Mikan felt anticipation, scared of his response. It came: "Did the right guy come along?"

Mikan guffawed. "No. Besides, I don't need a man to come save me and make everything 'alright', as you say."

Natsume did not respond.

Hating this sudden tense silence, Mikan asked, "What about you? How's your life?"

"Occupied by working."

"Yikes. How is working?"

Natsume worked at a law-firm. That was all Mikan really knew – Aoi never really explained or clarified exactly what he did, or whether he was happy.

"Time-consuming." was his reply.

Sarcastically, with a hint of amusement, Mikan answered, "Wow, twenty-five sounds like so much fun! I can't wait to be twenty-five!"

Natsume smirked.

"Any ladies?" Mikan asked. She couldn't help but ask. She regretted it immediately.

The smirk gone from his face, Natsume glanced in her direction.

A groan from the backseat interrupted: "Are we there yet?" Mochu groggily asked, his voice hoarse. His voice alone made Mikan straighten her back even more, but then she relaxed into her seat. Interruptions happen in life all the time simply because life is chaotic and there is no coherence in the universe. This interruption was a welcome interruption to Mikan: it saved her; it wandered the conversation away from her question. The universe changes course all the time.

"No," Natsume said, "another hour and a half."

Mochu seemed to fall straight back asleep, for Mikan quickly heard a soft, rhythmic snore.

Now knowing that she had another hour and a half of _this_ , Mikan had two options: one, pretend to fall back asleep so she had an excuse not to talk or two, think of something interesting to say.

She had nothing interesting to say.

Deciding option one was better, she readied herself for 'sleep', but then Natsume spoke. "My Pa's right. Cheap, fleeting pleasures sums it all up."

By this, Mikan knew he was alluding to that dinner, and that he was talking about women. Mikan came to defend him, "You're young. That's fine. You don't need to have anything more profound if you don't want to." She said this, but then remembered her love of real connections, and hatred for superficial connections – but whom would she be to preach so? It was not her place to do such thing. Besides, Mr. Hyuuga had already done so.

When Natsume didn't reply once again, Mikan decided to take a different approach; a different, darker thought that had polluted her mind recently (is pollute the right word? For these days, it really did ring truth to her, shining with clarity…): "Besides, nothing lasts forever anyway. _Everything_ is fleeting in this world. Today, I might find someone I connect with profoundly, my so-called soul-mate. But in ten years time, I'll be sighing at the sight of him, bored and uninspired. Only the memories of today would be holding my soul-mate and me together, and soon we will become strangers, only kissing each other's memory."

"… Fuck. That's depressing."

Mikan grinned. "It's extreme."

"But what about your parents? Aren't they happy?"

Mikan hesitated before nodding. "I guess they are."

"Well, they throw that out the window then. Surely they've passed the ten-year mark."

"I guess."

"Not to mention, you only take about this 'soul-mate'. What about friends? Does the same rule apply?"

"No," her response was quick. She could never imagine that happening to her and her friends – she daren't even contemplate on such tragic, sinister endings for them. "No. Not with friends."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't have sex with your friends. I mean you could. But my point is, sex confuses everything in a relationship."

"How?"

Mikan groaned. "I don't know. Let's drop this. I don't know what I'm talking about."

Natsume shrugged. "I thought it was an interesting theory. But too many loopholes."

"It's a loopy theory, that's why." She joked, and even Natsume smiled at her terrible pun.

"To me, it just sounds like you are disillusioned. Don't worry. Everyone is, at one point or another."

"Were you? Were you at twenty? Or are you disillusioned now?"

"About relationships?"

Mikan half-nodded. She meant more broadly, about life, but yes, she was disenchanted by love too – in this world built upon the sweating, musty and rank foundations of sex.

"Have you ever read _Plato's_ Symposium?" Natsume asked.

Mikan's voiced her surprise before answering the question, "When did you have time to read _The Symposium_? You didn't do literature or philosophy at university."

"It's only a few pages," Natsume pointed out, "evening material. You do know that it's not only English Literature students who read."

"If you say so. But yes, I have read it."

"Well there you have it. Philosophers, playwrights, politicians, a doctor all hanging out, all of them discussing love, all with different answers and approaches to the subject. The doctor blends science and love together – being a medical man, he can't help to view love as a product of order. He's not wrong, though. The others may disagree, but to him, according to his past, present and future, that's what relationships represented, represent and will continue to represent."

"You know, it's interesting you talk about the doctor." Mikan slowly replied, taking in what he said. "No-one really does. Plato's point was to show through Socrates the importance he saw of the essence of beauty and love – a pure essence that transcends bodily desires and this world. The love of wisdom, attaining truth… and so forth. So it's interesting you bring up the doctor. But still, I don't understand what the doctor has anything to do with disillusionment."

"I guess my point was that everyone in _The Symposium_ had different takes on relationships. You may be disillusioned by what you see in the world with all its crummy relationships, but at the end of the day your opinion is just an opinion. It's not truth."

"Not the pure essence that Socrates talks about, huh?"

Natsume snorted. "I didn't like Socrates' argument at all. I wouldn't say what he said was the 'grand' truth either."

"So… it's alright to be disillusioned in a world where no truth exists?"

"I guess."

Mikan pondered. She concluded, "I'm still confused how Plato had anything to do with my disillusionment."

Natsume huffed. "Maybe I was just trying to sound smart."

Mikan laughed. "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

"Maybe we can have more of these 'fun' conversations in Karuizawa before I leave." Dare Mikan say that his tone was hopeful?

"Yeah… maybe." She didn't promise anything. Then, she pointed out. "You never really answered my question. Were you ever or are you disillusioned?" This was true; Natsume indirectly shifted the question towards Plato – making the ancient Greek philosopher do all the talking instead of him.

Natsume seemed to be considering what to say and how to say it; he was unraveling his mind. "I don't think I'm disillusioned. I just accept life as it comes."

"Always?"

Again, he glanced in her direction. "Not always. Of course there are things I want to change."

Mikan hummed, satisfied with his answer. She turned her attention back to the melting scenery outside, sliding past her window. No longer did she feel she needed to pretend to be asleep; Mikan was content with just looking at the fleeting world then and there, listening to music that soon would come to an end.

 _You are the music while the music lasts…_

* * *

 **A/N** : The last line is a T.S. Eliot quote – disclaimed!

Review replies:  
 **BlackMaskedBeauty** : see! Long chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks again for the review and hopefully hear from you again soon.  
 **Anilissa** : Hope this chapter was what you wanted. Thanks for the review, friend!  
 **Ayame-hime** : Yes, I did feel the short previous chapter was necessary because it laid out the idea of a summer getaway, you know. Anyway thanks for your review, hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
 **Haruhi-chan131** : Thank you SO much for your three reviews: all as pleasurable as each other. If my friend's older brother did anything like Natsume, I would absolutely react like Mikan did. Yeah, I was trying to capture Mikan's alienation as I remember feeling those emotions when I went to university. Everyone says university years are the best years of your life, so I couldn't help but feel disappointed by how average my first year was. So, I was trying to capture that. Don't worry, you will come to know more about the girls in the next chapter. Thanks so much for your lovely reviews!  
 **YellowOrangeRed** : Lots of talking with Natsume in this chapter – Mikan will have lengthy conversations with the girls in the next chapter. Thanks for the review again!

Next update might be for a while as I am off on holiday now. Make sure you follow my story :)


	5. The Symposium

**A/N:** Long chapter ahoy! I don't own Alice Gakuen.

 **The Symposium**

* * *

The two cars arrived at the Hyuuga's Karuizawa house at precisely 17:00. The house was tucked cozily away from street, surrounded by greenery and under a canopy of thick, and wanton leaves. Unguided and completely free, the greenery had twisted itself into any available crack and space. Stepping out the car, Mikan noticed immediately how much cooler it was, inhaling the rich smell of the earth and the freshness of the air.

It all smelt delicious, and the house was languidly spread across the earth. Freedom was here, away from the high walls of the rank city.

She walked in the direction of her friends, and stared down at her feet, feeling victorious when her white Nikes accumulated dark muddy spots. Shoes were not meant to be clean, she always thought.

"Oh, I love it! So rustic! So fantastic!" Sumire gushed, admiring the house as she stepped out of Aoi's car.

"Mikan!" Anna called, waving. Mikan waved back, and joined her friends.

"Did you all have a nice ride without me?" Mikan asked, with a teasing tone.

"Oh yes," Sumire grinned, "we bitched about you the whole way!"

"I'm sure you did," Mikan laughed, and let herself be pulled into Sumire's perfumed and welcoming arms.

"I'm so sorry about everything, Mikan," Aoi said, as she emerged. "I hope my brother and his friends were good company."

At this point, Hotaru opened the trunk and started to relieve the car of the heavy, bursting burden of suitcases. "Your brother was. We had some fun conversations." Mikan replied. "His friends were asleep the whole time."

They spent the next ten minutes hauling every suitcase (Aoi's suitcases…) into the house, which had been unlocked by Natsume.

The interior of the house consisted mostly of wood: oak furniture, tables, tabletops, counters and chairs everywhere. It did not have a Japanese resonance, rather more a Scandinavian design. The first floor consisted of the kitchen, living room and dining room, and in the back, a bathroom and three bedrooms. Upstairs, one large Japanese bedroom, and a smaller Western bedroom. Above that, the attic, or the 'play room', filled with childhood souvenirs: proof that they too were once children, who loved creating with Lego and colouring with crayons.

The girls were to take over the large Japanese bedroom upstairs: it was spacious enough for them to lay out six futons comfortably. They brought their respective suitcases upstairs, and once there, they all lay on the tatami floor, laughing.

Kicking her legs out due to pure excitement, Nonoko cried, "This is so exciting!"

"We've haven't done anything yet. What's there to be excited about?" Hotaru pointed out, but even she was smiling. Mikan cuddled her best friend, who put her arm around her in response.

"I'm exhausted." Aoi sighed. She had been driving, and concentrating on the road for the past few hours. "Let's get the futons out so we can just laze about."

Sumire agreed on the condition: "Let's also get some wine." A suggestion that encountered a cheer as a response.

"I have six bottles of wine in suitcase seven," Aoi informed, "I have come prepared: one for each!"

Aoi had also packed rice crackers and sweets, and so the girls decided that they would skip cooking dinner tonight and fill themselves up with the aforementioned sustenance that dominated Aoi's suitcases, taking the steep responsibility that tomorrow the might wake up with hangovers and in the long-term, might ruin their teeth.

They shooed away Natsume when he came to ask about dinner, letting him know of their lazy and unhealthy plans for tonight. "Stop babysitting us!" Aoi cried, as he closed the door, leaving them to themselves.

All huddling, munching and sipping summer wine now, shimmying to music, rolling in the futons.

"Right," Sumire said, after popping another cracker, "let's talk about love."

Mikan laughed. Well, well, it would seem that the Squad was about to have their very own Symposium. Really, the universe really had to stop coincidences from happening or else Mikan might just be tempted into believing in a higher power, and perhaps even fate.

She must tell Natsume about this tomorrow. She was sure he'd be amused by this coincidence.

"Shall we go around in a circle?" Mikan said, taking on the role of Phaedrus. "Go around and discuss our discoveries about love… or lack-of, in my case." She added with a self-deprecating snort.

Hotaru mused, "That doesn't mean you haven't learnt something. When I have the displeasure of listening to people's relationship problems at my university, I always think 'god, how stupid these problems are', mainly because the answer always seems so simple: break up with the cheating asshole. Just because I'm not in love doesn't mean I haven't had any discoveries. In fact, I've discovered a lot."

"Yeah?" Sumire edged closer to Hotaru. Hotaru was by far the smartest in the group – any advice from her were like droplets of delicious and valuable wisdom. "Like what?"

Hotaru was to go first in the circle. "I saw this play when I was at university. I don't remember the title; I didn't think it was a good play. Nevertheless, there was one aspect of it that intrigued me. The play's layout was unusual: the stage was cut up into boxes, like a maths sheet. It was all mathematically constructed. And the main actor's qualm in life is that he did not know what love was, and was doomed for the rest of his life never to love. This boys was a supposed maths genius – although ironically I did spot an error in an equation – and could only see life in a mathematical manner. So, he walked in straight lines to calculate the exact distance from his front door to his school and such, and when having conversations, he would calculate what percent of the conversation was about animals and such. So the concept of love to this boy was completely baffling, for he could not see any coherent structuring to it."

Hotaru paused to eat, but was urged on to continue by Anna.

"The play was a manifestation of the idea that there is simply no formula to love. And quite frankly, despite the incorrect maths and terrible actors in the play, I agree with this statement. I believe that's why I have little interest in love, for its nature is too chaotic."

"Ahh, but Hotaru!" Nonoko, the fellow scientist, tutted, "The Chaos Theory! Don't forget what fractals show us: there is order in chaos."

"True." Hotaru accepted.

"Alright then," Mikan smiled, "let's make Hotaru's statement our hypothesis: 'there is no formula to love'. By the end of our discussion, we will decide between us if this statement is exclusively true or false."

All the girls hummed in agreement.

Aoi then spoke, "I'm going to say that to an outsider love does seem to have no formula, but when you're in a relationship… it's different. I'm not speaking from experience, but just looking at other people around me in relationships, they just seem to know something that I don't know."

"You mean they're overly smug?" Sumire snorted.

"Sometimes, yes. But I feel we could spend hours talking about what love is without actually coming to a conclusion, because well, none of us are in love."

"I resent that," Mikan said, "I'm in love with pizza."

"I'm in love with cake." Anna chimed in.

Putting her arms up, Sumire started to sing, " _I'm in love with da coco_ …" making the girls laugh.

Aoi rolled her eyes, amused. "You _know_ what I mean."

"I think you're giving people in relationships too much credit," Hotaru said, "it's not like they know something we don't. They just have a partner, that's all that's different. It's not like God descends from the sky and transforms into a burning bush and gives a new couple an equations that holds the secret to love. No thunderbolts or anything grand – having a partner just means you have a partner. Nothing more or nothing less."

"I blame the movies. Unrealistic expectations." Nonoko sighed. "It's so easy in movies because there are only ever two main characters. But there are like at least thirty main characters in your own life, and you never know when another main character might come along. Not to mention, when you meet someone, it's not scripted, you know? You literally have no idea where it's going. In a movie, they meet, something happens, and _oh-what-do-you-know_ a happy ending. Credits roll." Nonoko then furrowed her eyebrows as if trying to remember something. Then, "Did I ever tell you guys about Hokkaido boy?"

"Yes," Anna groaned, "most _what-the-fuck_ and disappointing story of the year."

"Anecdotes are good," Hotaru nodded, "tell us – even if we have heard this one before."

"Well, this anecdote is evidence on my part that there is _no_ formula to love. Back in November last year, I went up to Hokkaido with my university friend Misaki Harada—"

"I liked her. She was smart." Hotaru approvingly commented. They had all met Misaki when they visited Nonoko earlier in the year.

Glad, Nonoko smiled before she continued, "So we went to a bar in the evening, and outside the bar, I spotted someone from university. Second year, good looking—he ticked all the boxes in the superficial checklist. His name is Daisuke and he seemed to have recognized me too. He kept looking at me. Misaki noticed that. And so, after a few drinks later, she dared me to go up to him and kiss him. Just like that. Not to say anything, or smile, but just to walk up to Daisuke, and kiss him."

Mikan, who had not heard this story previously gasped, excited. Sumire too showed enthusiasm – she couldn't help but squeal, "Cheeky!"

"But what if he had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?" Aoi questioned seeing potential warning signs, excited nonetheless.

"Well… we were quite drunk. We didn't really think that far or that rationally to be honest. Anyway, after much convincing, I downed a shot of vodka, walked straight up to Daisuke, pulled his face to mine and kissed him."

The girls cheered.

"Then, I walked away, back to Misaki."

The girls moaned in disappointment.

"But an hour later, Daisuke finds me with Misaki and starts a conversation."

The girls started to cheer again.

"And Misaki tells him, 'oh I dared Nonoko to do that', and he coolly responded that he also wanted a dare. So, Misaki dared him; she said, 'I'm going to give you Nonoko's number and I dare you to text her in two day's time.'"

"Hail Misaki!" laughed Aoi, clapping. Even Mikan joined the clapping. This was truly a story of youth, alcohol, and liberation… _life_! It was a story that would be appropriate to tell any curious grandkids. It was a story worth telling and sharing.

But alas, Nonoko grimaced and delivered the ending: "He never texted or called me."

"What!" the girls all erupted, furious by the anti-climatic finish. They all stared at her, and Anna morosely nodded, confirming this to be the bitter truth, showing solidarity towards their shock.

This was no longer a story worth telling and sharing – no, it had metamorphosed into a hateful story that made the girls hiss and bitch.

"Even from science we know that humans love to order things. We love labeling, categorizing… so, I think its part of our nature to want to find order in life. I mean, isn't that what religion is fundamentally? Finding order – God – in this universe? A universe so random … Anyway… I think some of us like the _Hollywood_ endings because its sequence has an order to it, topped off with a satisfactory ending, but real life… no formula." Nonoko concluded before she downed her drink, giving all she had said a sense of finality. "Fuck fractals – there is _no_ order in chaos when talking of love."

"Fuck, that's brutal…" Aoi whispered, shaking her head. "I wonder why he never texted."

"Maybe he lost your number." Sumire suggested to Nonoko with a sympathetic nod.

"Maybe he died." Mikan suggested, making the girls snigger.

Hotaru then commented, "I think you're being optimistic, Mikan." The sniggering doubled.

"Or, you know, he could have just not been interested." Nonoko shrugged. "I know it's a sad possibility, but it's the most likely possibility. It's He just wasn't that into me. Sad truth."

"Coward." Anna scoffed. "He should have fulfilled his dare nevertheless."

Nonoko piped up, attitude changed, "It's not all doom and gloom though—Misaki and her boyfriend, Tsubasa, have been together since they were fifteen and they are very, very much in love. They don't need to say it. It's just there."

"Good for them," Anna sighed, as she stretched back her arms, "at least there's hope."

"What happened to your guy?" Sumire questioned, nudging Anna's ribs. "The tall handsome one."

Anna shrugged initially as a response before she clarified, "Nothing. I've told you all about it. I haven't heard from him since he left. I'll probably never see him again. And he was never 'my guy'."

"He was so good looking though…" Mikan whined, for Anna's sake. It was true – Anna's 'fling' (for want of a better word) had been ridiculously handsome. When Anna had sent his Facebook profile to the girls, they were all stunned by his height, broad chest and sculpted face.

But Anna wrinkled her nose, as if to disagree. "Let's be honest, he was a bit of an asshole."

Anna started her fling within the first few weeks of university – he was an affiliate student, meaning he would leave back to his own university abroad by Christmas. Anna wasn't quite sure herself how it all came to be, but before she knew it she was in his arms, and in the night, he would stroke her hair. But when he left, the whole experience left her feeling used. This was a horrible word to choose, but Anna did feel exploited by this tall, handsome bad boy, who left and disappeared like a wisp of smoke in summer, no leaving even a whisper for her in the wind.

She hated to admit it, but he had left some silly little wounds.

Remembering him made Anna sigh. "I don't know. Maybe if he wasn't an affiliate, something more could have happened… actually, I highly doubt it. He always said he was attracted to me, but now I think about it, the words just seem so empty, and cheap but an efficient way of his to get me to come back to his room. I'm sure he didn't even find me that attractive—"

Sumire put her hands to her ears, "Ugh, shut up, shut up, shut up! Anna – you're fucking beautiful and it pisses me off to think that you're doubting that just because of _guy_."

Mikan fervently nodded, agreeing with Sumire. "Besides, who cares what he thought!"

Anna smiled. "No – the point is, this… 'fling' was far too superficial, and I feel he used my so-called 'beauty' to seduce me." She sighed again. "I think the thing I most regret about it was the fact that I acted so naively."

Hotaru then said, "You're not naïve, Anna. You just got swept away by uni-fever."

"All I've learnt from it is that I'm not cut out for flings. And that I don't actually know anything about the world. So, in response to our hypothesis, my answer is that I am completely unsure of whether there is a formula to love. Maybe when I'm older and wiser I'll have an answer for you all."

Only then when Anna gave a small smile did Mikan really realize how hurt Anna had been by the whole experience: the experience of wishing to be wanted, and then only to be disappointed at the revelation that you didn't actually matter at all. You're not wanted. You're unwanted. You're insignificant. You won't be remembered.

Mikan hoped Anna would never feel like that again.

"Well, speaking of superficiality," came Sumire's voice, "I think my turn has come."

This made all the girls laugh, and laugh harder when Sumire vapidly flicked her hair back as a joke to emphasise her supposed superficial nature.

"So," she started, "as you all know, this year, I think it's safe to say that I've been spending a lot of time on the dating app, Tinder—"

"You mean you're obsessed," snorted Nonoko.

"Hush, hush, child – Mama is speaking." Sumire reprimanded with a devious grin, "As I was saying: Tinder. Throughout this year I met potential boyfriends, or even snuggle-buddies through Tinder. Now, now, Hotaru, don't look at me like that! It's perfectly acceptable for a girl or a boy to find a date through our phones—I mean, everyone in this goddamn century is glued to their phones anyway; how else are you supposed to find a boyfriend, huh?"

"But isn't so barren?" Mikan questioned. "Isn't it so barren to simply just flick through profiles and decide whether you want to speak to them solely based on their looks?"

Sumire pursued her lips. "Well, I think Tinder is a formula to love."

The girls spluttered at this, completely unconvinced.

Sumire continued, "Tinder is a failed formula to love. I'm sure the creators of Tinder didn't want it to become just a 'hookup' app, but as we all know, the app seems to offer the prospect of a one-night-stand more than that of a relationship. So, the formula was: picture and interests. Come on, let's be honest, when you meet someone, the first thing you notice is their face. Anyone who says differently is either lying or simply just blind. My point is, as humans, we are superficial. So, of course having a picture of yourself is important. Interests are important too as they cultivate conversations. But this simple formula does not work online. Why? People's photos sometimes show them in their best light and any hobbies or interests on the Internet could be false. You could write your favourite movie is _Pulp Fiction_ online, even if you've only watched it once years ago, just because it sounds cooler than _Gundam._ "

Aoi sniggered at this.

"This is no laughed matter!" Sumire cried, "I'm not kidding—one guy I spoke to was a total _Gundam_ otaku, even though there was no mention of the franchise on his profile!"

Feeling upset at hearing this, Mikan mumbled, "It's all false." Anything can be crafted.

Sumire nodded. "So, even from my experience this year, I can say there is no formula. We can try make a formula to make it easier for two people to get to know each other, but human idiocy, narcissism or simple fear prevent that from happening. And so, I, Sumire Shouda, conclude there is no formula to love."

"Jesus, this is becoming a pretty hopeless conversation…" Anna murmured, taking a swig of her wine.

Nonoko shrugged, optimistic, "We'll just all be single together, it's fine!"

"I suppose the beauty to love is that you never know when it'll happen or when it'll die. Kind of like life," Mikan commented, "so I don't think we should be disheartened by the fact that there's no formula."

"You and Aoi haven't declared your verdict yet," Hotaru pointed out, "so, what do you think?" She was looking first at Mikan.

Mikan thought whether she should voice what she had voiced to Natsume earlier that day. She decided she should: "Everything is fleeting. I don't think love is an exception. I've never been in love, but I'm not entirely convinced by it – unless it's selfless, I don't see how it's any different from any other emotion. People say love makes us different from animals but, I'm sorry, but maybe our notion of love is not far from their instinct to survive: maybe we've convinced ourselves time and time again that we need love to survive in this world, mainly based on society's expectations. So… no formula to love, I say, mostly because it just makes no sense."

It was Aoi's turn to contribute to the conversation. As mentioned before, Aoi had been pursued throughout her first year of university by three men, all of the same age, but all of different sizes and personalities.

"You have three specimens for this hypothesis," Hotaru said, "so your verdict should be rich with examples."

Aoi raised her eyebrows. "No, not really. I mean, they were all very nice. But I was never interested in them. It was fun, but I didn't see… you know, the 'spark'."

"Ah, the mythical 'spark'." Sumire rolled her eyes. "Tell me, what is the 'spark'?"

"You know… like chemistry. Connection. Like, take all of us for example: we make each other better – we bounce off each other's conversations, add something new with certain older ideas and we can be in total silence but still enjoy ourselves."

Mikan nodded, knowing exactly what Aoi meant. After all, it was this 'spark' she had missed so painfully when all her friends were at university.

Now she had clarified what she meant, Aoi continued, "That's why I think there's something special to love. Something there – something _different_. Something in the equation none of here are aware of. I could have had a boyfriend, but I chose not to, not because I'm a prude but because I didn't see anything long-lasting with any of the three guys."

Anna then piped up, "Okay, so let's take a famous example. _Romeo and Juliet_ – sorry for the cliché choice – their formula would be: R + J + spark = Love?" Anna looked utterly unconvinced, as she looked at Aoi.

"Which, let's not forget, equals death." Mikan darkly reminded, making them all chuckle.

"No," Sumire disagreed with this formula, "because you have to take into consideration Romeo's initial broken heart, their young age, the fact that they're passionate Italians… there are many variables. This 'spark' can't encompass all of these variables."

"We can't forget that _Romeo and Juliet_ is a work of fiction though," Hotaru said, "so it's not a very good example. But I understand what you mean: I think what you mean is that to every relationship there is a backstory, which could even include an arranged marriage."

Aoi hummed, pondering. They had made a very valid counter-point. "Fine," she slowly admitted, "maybe there is more to love than just a 'spark'. Circumstances… which, are of course all unique." She sighed, as if accepting the unromantic verdict. "Maybe there is no formula or coherence. There just _is_ love. Like, 'I think, therefore I am', you know? You're in love, therefore there is love. So, maybe we need to be in love to understand its existence. We can appreciate or detest it from afar but we won't understand it."

Mildly drunk, and somewhat tired, the girls sat in silence, thinking over all that had been said.

"I think you're hypothesis was correct, Hotaru."

"Of course it was." Hotaru brushed her shoulder. "I'm a genius after all."

* * *

 **A/N:** I know that I took such a long time to update. I'm sorry! Thanks to all who waited so patiently.

Now, from this, you should know more about the lovely girls :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter will feature Natsume, fear not – I just wanted to show the girls' relationship with each other.

Also, I'm sorry but I can't do my usual **review replies** today: I'm in the airport, oops, with limited time with wifi. I'll make sure to answer as soon as I have more time on my hands.


	6. Television

**A/N:** I don't own Alice Gakuen.

 **Television**

* * *

Mikan was the last to wake up the next morning.

Stretching, and groaning when feeling her muscles loosen and her shoulders click, Mikan observed that the sun was up, and had probably been up for some time.

When she turned, she saw Sumire and Anna sitting on their futons, with a small notebook at hand.

"Morning, lazybones," smiled Sumire.

"What time is it?" croaked Mikan, finally sitting up whilst rubbing her tired eyes.

"Time to wake up." Anna answered, before she clarified, "It's 10.45."

Mikan groaned again, this time because she was aware of the dull ache in her temple.

"Hungover?"

"Very slightly." She forgot how wine did not agree with her.

"Go downstairs – Hotaru left some aspirin on the dining table." Anna suggested. "Hotaru and Nonoko have gone for a morning walk. We're planning lunch right now – I want to bake a cake. Aoi is downstairs, but watch out – she's in a foul mood."

Seeing Mikan's questioning look, Sumire explained, "The television downstairs is broken."

"Ah," Mikan nodded, understanding.

"And you know Aoi and her television shows," chuckled Anna, "she loves 'em."

"Not gonna lie, I'll be pretty devastated if we couldn't watch this week's episode of _Koibana_ – last week's episode was such a cliffhanger!" Sumire squealed when remembering the last few minutes of the previous episode of the popular romance-drama televised weekly.

Mikan stood up. "I'm going to go check Ms. Aoi out… and get me some of that aspirin." She left the room, leaving Anna and Sumire to resume their discussion of lunch and cake.

She heard Aoi's voice grow louder and louder as she descended the stairs, and when she entered the main room (consisting of the kitchen and the living room), she saw her friend pacing up and down the room, phone to her ear, her cheeks flushed in annoyance.

"—I _told_ you, the only channel that appears on television is some foreign channel… _no_ , it's not Japanese, I've told you that… no, I said—" noticing Mikan, she gave her a nod and a small wave in acknowledgement to bid her friend good morning before she continued, "—I said that I need you or just _some_ technicianto come in to fix my television! Anyone! There's no point in you telling me how to fix it!"

Mikan headed to the dining table with an amused smile playing on her face. There, on the table she saw the aspirin and a bottle of water, and when tilting her head to take a gulp of water she noticed another person in the room, crouched down by the television, tinkering around with the remote, and hitting the side of the television from time to time.

"Any luck?" she called at Natsume.

Natsume turned to look at her. She noticed how his eyes lingered on her legs, before he turned back around to examine the television. Then, he said, "No – I think it's the satellite. The t.v. is working fine, but it's just not picking anything up." Again, he smacked the television, as if hoping such impact would give it life.

Mikan now stood beside Natsume and said, "What's this about some foreign channel?"

"For some reason, only one channel works fine – a foreign channel."

At this, Mikan crouched down besides Natsume. Natsume showed her this 'foreign' channel – he clicked the remote, and indeed, the television showed faces, colours and emitted sound, but in a language they did not understand.

"How odd." Mikan commented, as she looked at the television. Judging by the cinematography, Mikan guessed it was a foreign movie. Her attention was momentarily distracted however, when she heard Aoi's voice edge closer to her, her tone livid.

"—fine! Fine! Fine!" Aoi barked into the phone, furiously, "I'll come outside! But I expect a functioning television by the end of the day!" with an irritated sigh that bordered on a growl, Aoi hung up the phone. "I swear," she bit out, as she gathered her hair to tie into a ponytail, looking at Mikan and her brother, "nothing functions outside Tokyo. This is ridiculous!"

"Is the technician coming?" Natsume asked, in a calm voice.

"Yes," she viciously answered, "but apparently he can't read maps nor does his car have GPS. He wants me to come outside, and wait outside for him or else he might get lost." She explained, unsympathetically.

Mikan couldn't help but laugh, and reached out her hand to hold Aoi's. "Don't worry, we'll definitely be able to watch this week's _Koibana._ I promise."

Aoi huffed. "We _better,_ or else I might just punch a bear in the eye."

Natsume simply raised his eyebrows in disbelief as he regarded his little sister.

"I'm going to get changed," Aoi announced, "and then go out to wait for this technician. You just gonna relax here, Mikan?"

"Yeah, I think so." Mikan replied. "Any idea when Hotaru and Nonoko will be back?"

"Before lunch: Anna's cooking." (Anna's cooking alone was sufficient reason) Aoi then turned to Natsume, "Thanks for helping. You're hereby dismissed."

"Thank you." Natsume responded, and together, they watched Aoi leave the main room, hearing her soft steps rushing up the stairs back to the bedroom.

Natsume turned to Mikan and said, "My friends have all gone for a hike. I would have been with them now if Aoi didn't force me to stay home to help her with," he motioned at the television, "this piece of shit."

Mikan smirked. "Bad timing."

"The worst."

Suddenly, ripping through the general quiet, the foreign actor on the television screamed, causing Mikan to jump in slight shock. Immediately, both Natsume and Mikan turned to look at the television, to see the main male actor shouting at the main female actress. The actress was crying, and the actor red in the face, eyes lit in fury.

"Jesus. I wonder what's going on. I wonder what they're saying." Mikan mused out loud.

Then, Natsume spoke, with his voice lowered, " _I'm a misogynist who likes shouting when things don't go my way_ ," Mikan understood that Natsume was speaking in the place of the actor, imaging what the man on the television might be saying, " _and for some reason I'm angry with you."_

Mikan laughed slightly, but seeing how the actress was now speaking, she too put on a voice: " _Well screw you, misogynist! I'm a radical feminist with a Gender Studies degree, and even though I'm crying I'm angry at you for screaming at me unnecessarily—oh wait, actually I've decided that I'm going to hug you now_ … _maybe I'm not a feminist,_ " Mikan narrated, seeing that the crying actress was now clinging onto the actor, as if he was her lifeline.

" _Okay, now that you've hugged me I'm not going to shout anymore."_

" _My tears have that effect."_

" _I'm sorry I was so aggressive to you earlier,_ " Natsume continued speaking for the actor, as they saw the actor now caressing this actress' hair, " _I'm just the product of some sadist's fantasy who think it's okay for a man to scream to show his affection towards a woman."_

" _It's okay,"_ Mikan answered for the woman, _"because I'm apparently a simple masochist who thinks it's okay to be treated like this – my producer couldn't be bothered to develop me further. My favourite book is_ 50 Shades _after all."_

Together, Natsume and Mikan grinned, enjoying themselves.

Then, Natsume said, "I'm older than you but my feelings towards you are real."

Blinking, confused, heartbeat jumping slightly, Mikan turned to Natsume. "Huh? What?"

Looking at her, seeing she was looking at him, he motioned with his hand to the television – the actor was speaking, and indeed, now that Mikan observed, the actor looked much older than the actress.

"Oh right," Mikan felt slightly embarrassed – she had thought Natsume had said those words as himself, not as the actor. She continued the farce, hoping to smooth over her blunder and self-presumptuous misunderstanding, " _Age is not an issue… unless you're 40._ "

" _Well, good thing I'm 39._ "

Mikan laughed, and she couldn't help but playfully shove Natsume in the shoulder. This was habit – to very slightly push the person who made her laugh, but when she felt her fingers on his t-shirt, she suddenly remembered that this man was her friend's brother _and_ the same man who, for some bizarre reason, had caressed her under a table.

Then, in his normal voice, no longer as the actor, Natsume asked, "So age is not an issue for you then? Would it matter if you dated an older man?"

Mikan shrugged. "Not really. Although," she glanced at him, "I think if an older man dated me, he'd find me… naïve? I mean, I'm still studying, and I feel like working and studying are completely different, and I don't know if it's a good idea to date someone when you're both in completely different stages of life."

Natsume nodded, understanding.

"… Do you agree with that?"

"No." Natsume simply answered, without an explanation. Instead, he turned off the television, dispelling the foreign murmur.

So, Mikan couldn't help but asking, "Would you date someone older than you then?"

Looking at her, he answered, "No… I want to date someone younger than me."

Mikan furrowed her eyebrows, "Okay, ew, now you sound like an old pervert."

Natsume looked offended. "I'm not old—"

"Half of fifty," Mikan reminded in a sing-song voice before wondering, "Why are men so interested in young girls? It's like they want fresh meat."

"All I'm saying," Natsume interrupted in a firm tone, "is that I _currently_ want to date someone _younger_ than me."

"Well that sounds specific."

"I know what I want. And if she wanted the same, I'd happily date her."

With those words lingering in the air, at that moment, Aoi walked back into the main room, changed, with her car key in her hand. "I'm going to go and fetch the technician now," she glanced at Natsume and Mikan, who were sitting close by to each other and added, "Natsume, stop flirting with my friend."

Mikan scooted ever so slightly away from Natsume, feeling nervous and guilty all of a sudden. "He wasn't—"

Aoi continued as she walked towards the front door, "I'll be back soon hopefully. If not, just assume I'm burying this so-called technician's body in the woods." She opened the door before she called, "Natsume, stop flirting with Mikan! Go take a hike!" with that, she shut the door behind her.

Mikan was very aware that Natsume had not denied flirting with her, but not wanting to shine the spotlight on this small detail, she said, "Well, Ms. Aoi has spoken: have fun on your hike." She smiled, and pushed herself up to stand.

"What are you doing now?" Natsume asked.

Mikan thought fast: "I'm going to help Anna and Sumire cook, I think. Help bake the cake, or something."

Understanding, but perhaps a bit disappointed, Natsume nodded. "I guess I will go take a hike then."

"Have fun," Mikan bid him goodbye, heading towards the door that led to the stairs.

"You too. Save me a slice of cake."

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Bye Old Pervert!"

"I'm not old. I'm _older_ , but not old. Get that in your head. Bye Polka."

* * *

 **A/N:** Voila! Bet you didn't expect me to update so quick – surprise!

Thanks to the two **Guests** who reviewed; support is always appreciated, anonymous or not! **Satisified reader** ; I'm glad you liked their conversations – it actually consists of what I/my friends have discovered ourselves in the past year (edited, of course haha). **Crazy Shortie** I think in stories sometimes we forget how important friendship is, so by writing the previous chapter I suppose I wanted to show how important friends are. **AiramEnayle** , glad you like Hotaru's character; she was one of my favourite in the manga, so I hope I'm doing her justice – I also liked your take on love! Very refreshing. **Purple Pearls Turned Black** glad you liked the Symposium! Might I suggest you do the very same with your friends? Maybe with not so much wine though, haha. **Haruhi-chan** , hi, thanks for your review (and all your reviews for my story _Sillier With Age_ – so kind of you) – I think some tiny part of me too is also a hopeless romantic, despite my usual 'don't-need-no-man' attitude. Let's hope for the best! **Sylviyang** glad you those lines made you laugh! That makes me smile. **Kristie** glad you like my story so far, and hopefully you enjoyed the Natume Mikan interaction in this chapter.

See you soon!


	7. Revelation

**A/N** : I don't own Alice Gakuen.

 **Revelation**

* * *

The next two days, the Squad did not see (so interact) with Natsume and his friends – it would seem that working, tax-paying people were far more accustomed to waking up early and being productive than university students.

On average, the Squad would only be ready to face the day at around 11am.

Today was no exception.

At 11, they were washed, cleaned and dressed and all headed downstairs to get a bite of breakfast. So far, the conversation topic of this morning rested on what they should do during the day.

"I think we should go to the pool," Anna said, as they all shuffled downstairs to the kitchen, "it was far too hot for tennis yesterday. We nearly all passed out!"

"Speak for yourself," Sumire smirked as Hotaru opened the door to the kitchen, "my near-faint was due to the hot tennis instructor in Court B. He made me swoon!"

"Hey senior citizens," Aoi greeted with a yawn upon seeing her brother and his friends sat on the dining table, "move over, we need to eat." As if to prove her point, Hotaru went straight for the fridge, and pulled out three pots of yogurt for herself.

Mikan shuffled in the direction of the mugs – she was in need of a good hearty cup of coffee. "Who else wants coffee?" she asked, looking at her friends.

They all raised their hands, as they sat down in the freshly vacated seats; Natsume and his friends, grumbling slightly, moved to the other side of the main room, where the sofas the newly fixed television could be found.

"Turn the news on," Hotaru asked (commanded, even) of the boys. Quickly, Luca complied, reaching over for the remote.

Mikan smiled wryly; it was odd, a few years back, she couldn't dream that they, the Squad, could ask Aoi's scary older brother and his equally terrifying friends to move or to turn on the television. That fear had completely dissipated into the ether, and now was only an incredulous memory.

The main room fell into a comfortable silence as the girls and boys alike regarded the news. News of a crashing market in the West; a murder; tensions in the Middle East; a brooding typhoon… all in all, another morning, another day in life.

"Aoi," Mikan called.

"Hmm?"

"Where can I find the sugar?"

"In the cupboard." came Aoi's lazy answer – she was carefully listening to today's weather forecast, hoping it would help them all determine whether or not they should go swimming today.

Mikan opened her mouth to ask Aoi to be more specific, when from the corner of her eyes, she saw Natsume stand up from the sofa and come over to her.

"It's this cupboard," he instructed, as he opened the cupboard himself to pull out the sugar, "I'll help."

"Thanks," Mikan smiled as she took the sugar from him, "but you don't need to help. I can make coffee."

At that moment, Nonoko cried, "36 degrees celcius _here?!_ And 88% humidity?!"

"We are definitely going to the pool or staying in," Hotaru stated, "we'd melt otherwise." Pointedly, Hotaru lowered the temperature on the air conditioning.

Even the boys were discussing the sweltering weather: should they, or should they not go ahead with their plans of cycling? Would they die in this summer heat? Should they perhaps wait till late afternoon, when (they hoped) it would be cooler?

Respectively, the Squad and Idiots (save Mikan and Natsume) were discussing what they should do on this record-breaking hot day whilst Mikan and Natsume made coffee in sweet silence. Despite her insistence, he stayed beside her and poured the coffee into the mugs laid out by Mikan.

Mikan stirred the sugar, and Natsume asked, "Who takes milk?"

"This one, this one, and," she pointed to Anna and Nonoko's mugs before she pushed forward her one, "my one."

One by one, Mikan placed the mugs of coffee onto a tray and she held out her hand to Natsume, who still had her mug, to wordlessly ask of him to pass it to her. He wasn't quick to give it however, and in this small pause, he asked, "Any plans for tonight?"

"Depends on what we decide." she answered, glancing at her friends, then back at Natsume.

Natsume had the exact same eye colour as his little sister, Mikan noticed, but the shape of their eyes could not be anymore different. She'd always loved Aoi's rusty eye-colour, and despite their differences, she couldn't help but admire his eyes too.

"Thanks for the cake the other day." Natsume said.

Momentarily Mikan was confused, but then she remembered her promise to him two days ago (saving him a slice of cake). "Oh! That. It's fine, no problem." Natsume had not seen Mikan these past two days, and so his thanks was delayed, which explained Mikan's bewilderment.

"It was nice."

"Well, you'll have to thank Anna for that," Mikan smiled, "I only sieved the flour."

Natsume shrugged, "I thought the flour was the best bit."

"Is this you being nice to me?" Mikan laughed.

Natsume murmured with a faint smile, "You tell me."

Natsume then started to walk, with her mug in his hand, towards the table. Following suit, she held the tray and carried her friends' coffee to them. He placed her mug down before Natsume sat down too (not next to her though) – the dining table was very big after all, and even with the six girls sitting, he sat comfortably. With thanks, the girls took their coffee.

"I thought you'd be gone already." Aoi mused, looking at her brother.

"Is that your way of indirectly telling me to piss off?" Natsume muttered, resting his chin on his left hand, which was propped up by his elbow on the table.

"No, I'm just surprised." Aoi innocently replied, "Usually you're all gone by the time we wake up."

Speaking for his friends, he answered, "We're not sure what to do – originally, Luca wanted to go cycling but it seems like it'll be too hot to do that."

Seeing that the heart of the kitchen was becoming the dining table, leaving the television on, Luca, Koko and Mochu joined both the table and the conversation: "Let's do something summery!" Koko suggested in a youthful tone.

"Summery?"

"I hate to say this," Koko continued, "but even the way we're spending our summer reeks of adulthood. I mean, hiking and cycling? What next? Golf?!" he guffawed, "10, even 5 years ago, in the summer we'd be going to festivals and getting drunk, lighting up fireworks, doing _kimodameshi_ , and chasing girls!"

Aoi looked unimpressed. "Sounds like every other seedy summer."

"Awh, man," Mochu suddenly moaned in memory, before smacking his lips wolfishly, "remember that hot girl, Natsume? The one in Izu… 2011 or 2010…" As if remembering this 'hot' girl, both Koko and Luca nodded in appreciation.

"That was a good summer." Luca chimed.

"Remember her?"

"No." Natsume answered; he was not smiling in sweet memory like his friends.

"Come on! You spent hours with her—"

"Ew!" Aoi groaned. "I do _not_ want to hear this." She shook her head, as if to dispel any images of Natsume at the beach, chatting a girl up.

"You must!" Koko insisted, "She was the one with the nice bod—"

"Ugh." Anna slammed her coffee down, irate. "This is why I hate men. Honestly – the only reminding factor of this girl is her _body?_ What about personality? I'd hate to be remembered as a 'hot' summer fling with a 'nice body'."

"It's disgusting." Hotaru shook her head. "Incredibly demeaning."

"This why I am a feminist." Nonoko declared.

Koko tried to defend himself, "I just have a very visual memory—"

"Meaning you think with the wrong," Mikan then glanced pointedly downwards, "head." She topped off this statement with a devious grin (as if to say, 'oh yes, I just went there), and all her friends fell about laughing at this dirty but very astute observation.

Seeing that he was digging his own grave, Koko tried to change the direction of the conversation: "What I meant was," he now looked at his friends, "we should still enjoy our summers!"

"I _am_ enjoying myself." Natsume pointed out.

"No, I mean we should shake things up! _Live_ a little!" Koko clapped his hands, "Buy some fireworks and such."

"I wouldn't say no to that." Sumire said.

Happy that he was being welcomed with some support, Koko continued, "Maybe rent a scary film, then do a _kimodameshi_ – it's summer after all!"

Hotaru very much seemed to like the idea of watching a scary film. In fact, all the girls burst into excited chatter of watching and experiencing horror in the summer. After all, it was known throughout Japan that there was no better way to cool down than to chill your bones with fear.

"We'll do that tonight then, around dinner." Aoi confirmed before she turned to her friends, "Shall we spend the day at the pool then?"

At this, Mikan stood up; she had finished her cup of coffee. "I'll let you guys decide what to do in the day – I honestly don't mind. I need to do some washing though, so I'll do it now just in case we end up going out."

Understanding, the girls continued to chat amongst themselves. Leaving the decision in their safe hands, Mikan left the room to go upstairs to collect her laundry. The laundry room was downstairs, in the opposite of the main room, so she climbed back down the stairs her hands full and when opening the door to the utility room, she was surprised to see Natsume there, leaned against the sink with his hands propping him up. She wondered briefly what he was doing there, just standing, looking at her not directly but by the reflection of the mirror.

No matter; Mikan gave him the benefit of the doubt that he too was here to wash, or clean, so she smiled at him in acknowledgment and did not initiate conversation as she sorted out her clothes, separating white from colours.

"Is that polka-dots I see?"

Mikan jumped, and turned around to see Natsume standing right behind her, peering at the blue and white polka-dotted pajama shorts she had been wearing to bed these past few days.

"You _scared_ me!" Mikan accused, before she looked at him with unimpressed eyes, especially at the amused look on his face, as if was remembered a distant (and embarrassing on her part) memory… "And yes, polkadots. I happen to like polkadots." She put the shorts in the colour pile.

"I would have thought you might have an aversion to it after the Polka-Dot incident—"

"Agh!" Mikan interrupted, trying to stop Natsume digging up memories that had been so deeply buried in her mind, but alas, an image of the evil polka-dot training bra flashed in her mind, like lightning. She then said, "Do you mind? I'm doing my laundry! Go harass Aoi or someone else and stop reminding me of teenagehood."

Natsume took a step back, his hands up in apology. He was still smirking though – what was a traumatic memory for Mikan, for Natsume, was a highly amusing memory consisting of a screaming young teenager.

Mikan shoved the colours into the washing machine, and noticing that Natsume was still with her, she asked, "What's up? Surely you're not here just to bring up bad memories."

With her question, Natsume's diverted expression sobered up ever so slightly. "I just wanted to clarify what Mochu and Koko said."

"What? What did they say?"

"You know… about summer—"

"Oh," Mikan understood now, "you mean about the 'hot' girl with the banging body?"

"Yeah—"

"What about it?"

"I just want to say that it was a summer fling, and I was young, stupid and desperate."

Mikan looked at him in utter confusion. "O…K…" she slowly nodded, even though she could not quite believe that he had come to this stuffy room to tell her _that_ – such trivial matter, surely. "… Is that all?"

"Yeah. I just didn't want you to swallow what they said – they're idiots. I didn't want you to think that I mistreat girls, and forget them after summer… and such. I mean, I may have been like that in the past but now…"

That was when Mikan really, really, _really_ understood. Contrary to her younger self, she was not so dense any more—she had picked up that Natsume in the past few days was spending time with her, talking and laughing, and with the backdrop of the thigh-caressing incident, of course Mikan couldn't help but sometimes wonder for the briefest second that _something_ was up.

But she chose, like she did with the thigh-caressing incident, to ignore it. She chose to ignore all the hints. Purely because a) she couldn't even begin to fathom the embarrassment she would feel if this was actually just all in her mind b) he was Aoi's brother and c) it seemed odd and incredibly self-presumptuous and bordering arrogant of her to believe or even consider that Aoi's brother might be flirting with her.

But it was clear to her now: clear, clear, clear. Clear! Clear that Natsume was here, in this stuffy room, with the purpose of talking to her, to clear up certain matters.

There was nothing to be embarrassed about, she understood: she wasn't being self-presumptuous or arrogant – Natsume Hyuuga, Aoi's brother, was truly flirting with her.

The revelation came to her in a matter of two seconds, thoughts wildy rushing in her head whilst her face remained impassive.

She hoped she wasn't flushing when she said carefully, "That's okay. I honestly don't care." Realising that what she said could be interpreted to mean she didn't care about him full stop, she quickly added, "I mean that I don't mind. You don't need to justify your actions, even if you were young, stupid and desperate."

"I'm not like that anymore." Natsume promised in a steady voice. Was his voice always so deep? In fact, now that Mikan looked up to his face, was he _always_ this good-looking?!

"I'll take your word for it." Mikan reassured him. She turned back to the washing machine, heart still beating, and closed its door. Silence suddenly rung so loudly for Mikan, who tried desperately to ignore it when she stood up. She turned to face him, and now… now she could never seen Natsume in the same way again.

No longer was he hidden behind a sibling veil; no longer was he Aoi's older brother… now, all Mikan could see before her was a tall, handsome man, with a broad chest… (dare she say it) a potential mate.

She saw there were two options.

One, ignore the revelation and simply continue to act friendly towards him, thus, not to reciprocate the flirting.

Two, acknowledge the flirting and so effectively nudge him in the right direction to show _her_ interest in him.

But was she really interested in him? After all, even though she could separate Natsume and Aoi's older brother now, up until a few seconds ago she couldn't distinguish the two. Not to mention… _this_ (whatever this was) only started last month!

Then it dawned on her… how _long_ had Natsume wanted to flirt with her? Possibly, just maybe, from when he saw her that night in May? Was it then he decided or discovered affection? Or earlier (is that possible, she wondered)?

Mikan decided that there would be a third option.

Three, acknowledge the revelation but ignore the flirting (for now – until she figured out what the hell she wanted).

Option three it was. "Well I better go. I'll see you tonight! Have a good day."

Avoiding his gaze and side-stepping around him, Mikan left empty-handed with her heart faintly thudding.

* * *

 **A/N** : Hello lovelies! Thank you all so much for your reviews. I don't think I am going to do the one-by-one review replies – I don't want them to take so much space and so giving you the false sense of hope that the chapter is longer than it is. There are so reoccurring questions though, so I will answer them below.

 _Kimodameshi_ _ **:**_ test of courage. In Japan, teenagers often do this in the summer, whether it is to walk in a graveyard or haunted area, they go and explore for the sole purpose of getting scared.

 **FAQ:**

 **Q: How long has Natsume liked Mikan?  
A: Mikan questioned that in this chapter. We'll all find out in the last few chapters.**

 **Q: When will they get together?  
A: All in good time, my friends.**


	8. The Game

**A/N:** I don't own Alice Gakuen

 **The Game**

* * *

The summer days slid into each other like butter, churning, spreading and finally melting. It was hot too – this only exacerbated the hazy, lazy summer vibe everyone in the house was feeling.

How was the _kimodameshi_ you ask? Well, it didn't happen: the rain made sure that those plans were cancelled. Now that mid-June approached, so did the rainy season, and so the Squad found themselves at home more and more, unwilling to venture outside into the hot and very humid climate.

But this morning, whilst all her friends sat on the sofa, piled on top of each other watching television, Mikan slipped out in the wide outside for a quick smoke. And quite to her surprise, there she saw Natsume.

She had been sidestepping around him ever since her revelation. Was this normal, part of the 'Game'? Her friends have told her there is a certain Game people play when they are flirting – a Game that is never spoken of, between the boy and girl (or boy and boy, girl and girl) but exists between them.

Was her new consciousness of Natsume to blame? For she was definitely but without meaning to, taking part in this Game.

He noticed her. Natsume too was smoking, but he only had a few drags left on his cigarette.

"Hey," she started the conversation, with a smile.

"We're still smoking, huh." Natsume said, watching her light her cigarette.

Mikan nodded. "Yeah, we really have to kick the habit. How've you been? I haven't seen much of you recently."

"Luca's been obsessing over a horse farm he's discovered." Natsume explained. "We're there these days. Mochu's also taken a fancy to a girl who works there too. Obviously."

"Oh?" Mikan paused. "Any other girls?" She couldn't help but ask! She couldn't stop herself! But she was incredibly curious… not _jealous_ (for there was nothing to be jealous about!... yet) just… curious.

Natsume seemed to pick up on Mikan's… _curiousity_ and grinned ever so slightly, almost as if he were pleased. "No. No other girls." He said it like a promise. His cigarette was now done, and so he stubbed it away on the ashtray he had brought out with him. But he did not leave, instead, stayed with Mikan outside.

"It's hot, isn't it?"

"Very. Very hot." Mikan slowly agreed.

It was as if the air between them was electrically charged: befitting for this humid weather, which sometimes brought along the thunder. We all know that too much heat causes storms and lightning after all. But it wasn't just the weather: Mikan felt it - she really truly felt something thick and palpable between herself and Natsume.

There and then, whilst she smoked and he just looked at her, she had an urge to touch him. Touch him and break this charged atmosphere between them!

… She smoked with more vigour as a result, hoping that she would not act upon this sudden impulse.

Natsume spoke. "We're planning to play cards tonight and we were – well, - _I_ was wondering if you wanted to join?" A pause then, "Your friends too."

"Your sister?" she reminded him.

"Oh yeah, her too. She can come if she must." Natsume said like an afterthought making her smile. It was hard _not_ to smile around Natsume now.

"That sounds nice," Mikan agreed before, "but I think some of the girls were planning to go to a spa tonight."

"You too?"

"I think I'd rather play cards. I think Hotaru also is planning to stay in."

Natsume nodded. "Okay. We'll probably start around 8, in the living room."

"I'll be seeing you then."

When Natsume left, Mikan felt the charge leave with him. Something was _definitely_ there, she knew, and all that stayed with her was her beating heart.

It was hot. Very hot.

* * *

Sumire too decided to stay in that night, owing to her certainly unique predicament: "My masseuse in Tokyo says I shouldn't see other people," she insisted, "or it will mess with my back!"

"So, only your masseuse is allowed to massage you?" Hotaru had dubiously questioned.

"Yes!"

"Well, that's certainly one way to monopolise a customer's loyalty _and_ money."

And so, the rest drove off at around 7:30, to get their backs, shoulders and necks loosened. Sumire and Hotaru agreed to play cards tonight with Aoi's brother and his friends, telling Mikan that they hoped alcohol (Sumire) and money (Hotaru) will be involved in tonight's games. And so, at around 8 the three of them went downstairs to play.

A card game, or _the_ Game, Mikan was unsure which game she would be more focused on tonight. More importantly, which game would she win, if any at all.

They were already there, all sat on table – Natsume was smoking (something he could inside only when Aoi was out), Koko was shuffling a card packet, Luca and Mochu languidly chatting. When looking up to see the three girls enter, they all briefly paused before Koko boomed, "Welcome!"

"So what we playing then?" Hotaru was quick to get into the mood of winning. "Playing with money?"

"Uh—"

"Any alcohol?" Sumire questioned. "I was hoping we could make it a drinking game! You know, like the loser of each round has to drink. Maybe even some Ring of Fire! Just a _game_ on top of a card game please!"

"Well," Luca tried to explain, "not sure about money, and I don't know if we have any alcohol."

Hotaru and Sumire groaned at this news. Mikan didn't mind, she just looked upon Natsume.

 _He's so handsome_ , Mikan thought to herself, _so handsome…_

He noticed her gaze upon him, and flickered his eyes towards her as he flicked the ash off his cigarette. She looked away, but then looked back only to see him looking at her. A small smile said 'hello'.

Her brief reverie came to an end however when she heard Sumire's voice ring, "Let's a play game now. Loser has to go buy alcohol!"

Everyone agreed, and so the three took seats (Mikan in the middle) and Koko started to distribute the cards. "A quick game of _7_ should do it." And so, the cards piled in the middle, left and right, and soon enough a loser materialised: Mikan.

"Ah shit," Mikan laughed, as she slapped her remaining cards against her forehead, "what a cruel way to lose!" she then threw all of her cards down on the table, still with a laugh.

Sumire cackled, and nudged her friend, "Go get the booze, loser!" Even Hotaru nudged her from the other side.

Mikan dramatically sighed before she stood up, "Fine, fine—"

"I'll go with you." Natsume stood up, standing up quite abruptly making his chair squeak. Clearly this sudden outburst surprised everyone, including Mikan. "It's unsafe for a girl to go out alone at night."

Before Mikan could say anything, Hotaru, unimpressed sighed, "She'll be _fine_. She's not stupid."

"It's fine." Mikan interrupted, knowing that Hotaru was about to say more about the topic, "I mean, Natsume can come with me."

At that, Sumire turned on Mikan, looking up at her with an eyebrow raised. Sumire was excellent at sniffing these things out: Mikan knew from both their expression that tonight she would have to sit through both Sumire and Hotaru's interrogation. The first of many, she was sure.

"Alright, let's go." Natsume said. "We'll be back soon."

Complying, Mikan left, leaving her friends an enigmatically happy lingering smile. Mikan did not seem to be the loser in this instance at all.

* * *

They walked. It was dark but warm, and the two walked under the canopy of the trees and past the occasional lit lampposts that were surrounded by fluttering moths.

"Thanks for coming. You didn't have to."

"The nearest convenience store is quite far, so."

It wasn't that far at all, though. Not wanting to point this out, Mikan said instead, "Sumire sure loves her games, huh? Since we were young she always liked to play games."

"Do you like games?" Natsume asked.

At that point, Mikan saw there was a heightened stone platform on the side of the road and decided to step up onto it, to walk on it with her arms outstretched as if she was walking on a tight-rope. "I love games."

"Yeah? What about mahjong?"

Mikan knew then Natsume wasn't talking about mahjong the game but rather about _the_ Game: the thigh-caressing incident to be exact. She was not stupid – she knew exactly what he meant. Being indirect and speaking riddles were just, it seems, part of the flirting procedure. At least it was for Natsume and herself.

So she replied with a riddle too: the Game must go on after all. "I don't know what to think about it."

"… Are you confused by the rules? Unsure perhaps?"

"I believe I'm slightly confused about a player rather than by the rules." Mikan admitted. She kept her eyes on her feet, steadying them on the stone platform which was slightly slippery due to the thick and wanton moss growing on it. "Not to mention, I have all my mahjong pieces in front of me but I don't know what my best move is. I don't know whether I should wait or take my chances."

"I see." Natsume answered, rather quietly.

He had his eye on Mikan, noticing the moss. And then, without another word, when she ever so slightly stumbled on the platform, Natsume reached out his hand and brushed it against her hand. It was as if he wanted to hold it, but decided against it at the last second. Mikan stopped walking and looked down at him. He walked a step or two more before he stopped.

She wished he reached out.

 _Reach for me! I'm not a star!_

She decided it would be best to jump down from the platform. Easily she did so and walked beside him on level instead.

They reached the convenience store in a matter of seconds.

* * *

Sumire cheered appreciatively when Mikan and Natsume returned with both alcohol and snacks.

"Thanks Mikan, you're a star!" she gushed, as she peered and poked around the plastic bags to pick a drink for herself.

"I'm no star," Mikan smiled, "besides, Natsume carried most of all this."

"Thanks Natsume!" Sumire promptly added, before she pulled out a sugary packet of sweets and a fizzy alcoholic drink.

"Ah behold, sake!" Koko cheered, holding the cheap bottle like baby Simba.

Mikan snorted, "Even your taste in alcohol reeks of adulthood, Old Man."

"I told you so." Natsume said to Mikan with a smirk. "Koko sake; Luca beer and Mochu whiskey."

"Whiskey's pretty bad too." Hotaru pointed out.

"Um, _you're_ drinking whiskey!" Mochu pointed out. True, Hotaru had just opened herself a whiskey.

She shrugged, "I'm an adult through and through. I've never really been a child."

Alcohol poured, snacks out – everyone was ready for Round 2. Deciding they'd be safer on the floor (as the oak table was expensive and would not do if they accidently split wine on it), they migrated to the living room floor (which was easier to clean). Each grabbed a small pillow and the players sat down, in a circle. This time, Mikan and Natsume sat next to each other (casually placing their pillows next to one another's), and when everyone else was discussing what game they should play next, Natsume placed a packet of strawberry marshmallows between himself and Mikan.

The packet was somewhat obstructed from view, as they were both sitting cross-legged and Natsume put it behind their knees.

"This packet is for us." He quietly murmured to her, so Sumire on the other side of her could not hear.

"Okay." Her voice was soft.

And the card game began! Koko swore in the name of his Club Ace; Sumire cackled in vindictive joy as she sought help from the Spade King; Hotaru grunted in approval at her Diamond Knight; Mochu played his Joker; Natsume took Mikan's Heart and Mikan won in the end.

Koko who still cursed his Ace was the first to drink his sake, as the others gathered the cards together before passing them to Hotaru who shuffled as if she were a casino Black Jack dealer.

"What next?" And so the Interval came.

In the Interval, Mikan and Natsume reached for a strawberry marshmallow.

At the same time.

Quietly, without making a fuss, and unknown to everyone else in the circle, Mikan's left hand and Natsume's right hand found each other in the sugary marshmallow packet. There, in its sweet confine, for the first time Natsume held Mikan's hand. Well, it was a small space (being a packet after all) so it was more: in its sweet confine, for the first time Natsume's forefinger and middle finger found Mikan's forefinger.

He curled his two fingers around Mikan's and held on tightly.

Mikan very slightly stroked the underside of his thumb in response.

All whilst the other discussed their different rules of _Magic Numbers._ All the while their faces remained impassive. But Mikan knew, then and there whilst her left hand remained in the marshmallow packet that both she and Natsume had made their first move in the Game.

* * *

 **A/N:** Mikan is totally crushing!

Lots of Game metaphors – all thanks to Alexander Pope. Once again, I apologise but I won't be doing individual review replies here. But **thank you all so much for your reviews and support!** It means so much to me! Especially as the reviews are becoming lengthy – can't wait to read what you have to say about this chapter.

Their relationship is developing fast, but like I said earlier, I plan to finish this by Autumn so I can't let it drag on with intricate plot twists and such. Sorry if it seems rushed!

See you soon!


	9. Summer Wine

**A/N:** Gakuen Alice is not mine. Disclaimed! Long chapter ahoy!

 **Summer Wine**

* * *

Mikan was oh-so sure that both Hotaru and Sumire would jump at her as soon as they reached their room, to start the interrogation about Natsume and herself. Mikan was oh-oh-oh so sure!...

But, well.

 _Well._

Sumire and Hotaru lost many games (very unlike both of them), and so by the time 11pm rolled in, her two best friends were slopping, sliding and slurring. "R-Rematcchh!" Sumire drunkenly chanted and Mikan knew that it was bedtime for her two friends when Hotaru too started to pound her empty whiskey glass on the floor, like fatalistic drum, to accompany Sumire's tribal chants.

Lady Luck had been on Mikan's side; she was dealt the right cards and picked up the right cards at the right time. As a result, she was pretty much sober. If anything, she had too many marshmallows to eat in those few hours than too much to drink.

Quite similarly, Natsume's friends were drunk – perhaps not as drunk as Sumire but on par with Hotaru – and as if the marshmallows kept them sober, Natsume too was far from inebriated like Mikan.

So 11pm meant it was bedtime for the kiddies: mummy helped her two girls up the stairs whilst daddy kicked his three silly boys in the ass to get them to move. Not before bidding each other goodbye though. Now holding both Sumire and Hotaru's hands in each of hers, she had no extra hand left to give to Natsume when she bid him goodnight.

As she kicked the door to their room open, she inwardly reprimanded herself: _I should have said more than goodnight!_

So no interrogation came that night. The only noise Sumire made were comical snores whilst Hotaru grumbled in her sleep, as if a tiny part of her knew she'd regret her alcohol consumption tomorrow morning.

 _I should have said more than goodnight_.

Mikan's brain was on repeat. She kept saying those words to herself, but alongside that, as if on a different channel in her brain, Mikan saw herself with Natsume eating marshmallows. Those soft, soft marshmallows – tonight, the feeling of eating a marshmallow on her lips reminded Mikan of kisses.

She sighed.

Mikan wished her friends _would_ interrogate her now: she wanted to discuss the issue _now_ rather than later! All these feelings and questions are not meant to be bottled up, but explored! After all, she had landed in unknown territory, and unknown territories, if history had taught her anything, were explored not ignored. Whilst explorers of the past used maps to guide them, Mikan's maps were her friends.

That thought led her to glance in the direction of the empty futons: Aoi, Anna and Nonoko – when will the trio be back, she wondered. Surely they can't still be at the spa, she reasoned.

Her phone had been placed idle by her own futon, and so Mikan reached out for it to see if she had any messages from any of the three. Alas, nothing. Logically, Mikan decided to drop them a line, just to be safe (but she was not worried at all – 11pm after all to a university student is early rather than horrifically late).

And when scrolling through her contacts list… well, her heart flopped and jumped slightly when she saw 'Natsume Hyuuga' saved just underneath Aoi's name.

She felt flushed, and then greatly idiotic: how could a _name_ cause such a reaction! Mikan realized then that she was acting irrational, maybe quite like a teenager! And then a thought wandered across her mind, like a cloud on a spring's day… _Should I text him?_

 _Should I? But would he be awake? Of course! It's only 11, he'll be awake. Ah, but he works… maybe 11 is quite late to him. But… just to see? Maybe?_

Soon, she was on her belly, lying on her futon, drafting a text to send to Natsume Hyuuga, who had been on her mind all evening tonight. How does one start a text, Mikan paused to think as her fingers hovered over her phone screen. She glanced then at Sumire, hoping the harvest some telepathic tips from the sleeping, snoring girl. It proved futile as no revelatory witty lines descended upon her, like the Holy Spirit did with Milton.

Either way Sumire was right. Texting _is_ crafting. Texting is an _art!_

A few minutes passed and Mikan's fingers still hovered awkwardly.

She then decided to fuck the rules. Fuck the texting rules! Fuck crafting! Fuck art! She was never artful anyway. In the spur of this zealous rebellion (a rebellion against the conventions of texting, a noble rebellion in the 21st century), Mikan's fingers rather vehemently tapped out:

 _Hey. It's Mikan._

And as if her fingers themselves were on crack, they automatically but rather manically pressed the blue send button.

Her phone made that bubbly noise, which told her that her message had been sent.

Then, her jaw dropped. She double-checked her phone. "Oh, fuck." She whispered to herself, and hit her head on her pillow to chastise herself.

It's one thing to go against the conventions of texting, but perhaps another to aggressively write out: Hey. It's Mikan.

The full stops! So harsh! So harsh! … Or is she thinking too much now? Rationally, if Mikan spoke to Natsume in person, it would be compromised of full stops, not exclamation marks surely. Surely? But when she saw the two sentences upon her phone, a groan escaped her lips.

Once again, she chastised herself, but before she regret her blunt message any further, a tinkering sound told her that she had a new message. Her back straightened, and with a beating her but with surprisingly no hesitation she looked at her phone. And there, underneath Mikan's, was his message to her:

 _I see you've finally texted me. Are you having a point of weakness or…?_

Her mind went blank for a second or two. Then, once again, as if possessed, her fingers moved before she thought. And so started their quick and playful soundless conversation.

 _No… I just thought you might want my number. You know. Just in case._

 _Well, you're a month late but thanks for your number._

 _My humble apologies for my tardiness._

 _You are forgiven._

 _Are you sleepy?_

 _Are you?_

 _Not really._

 _Nor me._

 _Any chance you want to have a 'fun' conversation? You mentioned in the car on the way here that you hoped we'd have some fun conversations here before you left._

 _Come back down to the kitchen then._

She didn't need telling twice – haphazardly, she rolled off her futon and clambered up onto her feet. There was no grace in her movements, and soon she found herself in the kitchen, regarding Natsume who was sitting on the table, this time without a cigarette, but with two cups of barley tea in front of him.

"Thought you might want some tea."

"How thoughtful!" Mikan teasingly cooed, but nonetheless appreciatively drank once she sat down in the seat opposite to Natsume. She then spied a half-eaten okonomiyaki on the table, arm's length away from her. After double-checking with Natsume that this was okay to eat, she pulled it towards her and started to finish the neglected okonomiyaki.

"University really messed up my appetite," Mikan said once she swallowed her second bite, "I eat at strange times nowadays. It's a hard habit to break to."

"So this _is_ a point of weakness?" Natsume questioned.

"What? No."

"But you mentioned university. I thought you were having difficulties at Ali-U." (Ali-U was the nickname given to Alice University).

Mikan faltered here. "I didn't bring up university in that way…" She hadn't thought of university (and loneliness) in a while, and now, her last bite of the okonomiyaki tasted suddenly stale. Her stomach also tensed up slightly, but not at all in the way Natsume recently made it curl and flutter.

Clearly Natsume saw that Mikan was now feeling uncomfortable. "I didn't mean it like that either—"

"It's okay. I'm okay." Mikan assured him. She said so, but really, at his words, she may just been having a very small point of weakness. His words somehow morphed into a reminder, a sad reminder, that her happiness here was only temporary. Soon, summer will end and loneliness will ensue once more, she morbidly thought, where only her shadow will accompany her.

"No. No, you're not." Natsume didn't buy her assurance. "You won't look at me."

"I—"

"Look, Mikan, I'm really sorry. Fuck, I'm really sorry. It was really tactless of me to assume and to have said what I did."

Mikan swallowed, and nodded, as if accepting his apology (which she felt she didn't actually really deserve). To distract herself from Natsume's steady gaze upon her, Mikan picked up the pack of cards that have been left from earlier that night and started to meaninglessly shuffle the pack.

"Let me say one thing though. How is it that you're suddenly a completely different person when university is brought up? Normally when I'm being inconsiderate you let me know. You don't usually just shove it under the rug to forget about it." The concern in his eyes dissipated; Natsume looked serious now.

"Let's not talk about—"

"It's like you've lost part of yourself in university," he continued, with undeterred seriousness, and it was resolved determination that suddenly irritated Mikan.

"Drop it, Natsume," she warned, her voice no longer small or weak, and she now met his eyes with equal determination.

But he persisted: "I mean, you mentioned you haven't even told Aoi about your troubles. That's not like you at all—"

He hit a nerve. She slapped the cards on the table and cried, "You don't _know_ me, Natsume!"

"I've known you for _ten years_ , Mikan. I've known you since you were a kid. I _know_ you enough to know that you're actually feeling guilty about not telling Aoi or your other friends about your troubles at university."

This was going in places she never even imagined. What an eventful exploration. And an accurate observation on Natsume's part; his words hit the bull's-eye, right into her unconscious mind where indeed guilt did reside. As a reaction, part of her wanted to kick her chair back, curse his insensitive pursuit and leave, retreat back upstairs. The other part of her felt dull and numb, and kept her in heavily sat in her seat.

"So," Natsume continued, and Mikan noticed his voice was much softer now, "if you can't tell them, tell me instead."

She looked up at him to observe sincerity.

"I want you to tell me what's wrong. I wasn't kidding back in May, or just being nice when I said you could text me if you were feeling upset. I want to know what's wrong. That is, if you're willing to share." He encouraged very gently.

"This is not the fun conversation I had in mind." Mikan replied, her tone both tired and waspish.

Apologetically, Natsume explained, "I just don't want you to think you're going to be alone again as soon as summer's over and your friends are gone."

"I will be alone again." Mikan voiced out her festering fear, and her voice twisted into a desperately scared tone by the end of such statement.

"No you won't. You will _not_ be alone." Unlike her earlier assurance, Natsume's assurance was firm, steadfast and true. Unlike her, he meant what he said. Unlike her, he met her eyes with no fear or doubt.

Natsume was honest, genuine and earnest – he always had been, she knew this of him, having known him for a decade. Briefly, she realized she knew more about him than she initially thought, and felt ashamed for having accused him of not knowing her earlier. He might still be learning how she takes her coffee, but he knew her essential characteristics, like she knew his. And that's what's important, she realized.

And he was right. She had been sweeping the dust and tears under a rug for half a year now, and this was not like her at all. She was not a Cinderella, a silly sweeper – she was a fighter, a Mulan, and it would be a pity to lose this fighter in the name of loneliness at university. That would simply be an unfittingly depressing defeat.

And so she now took a page out of Natsume's book – she was going to be honest. And honesty came easily to her.

"I don't have any friends at university. I know that sounds so trivial, but I was so used to having friends that at first I was shocked at how I couldn't make any new friends, then I just shrugged it off and told myself that sooner or later, like everyone else, I'd make some friends. But time passed and I was still alone, and by then, I felt it was too late. And then, to make it all the more harder, I would call Hotaru, or Aoi – any of the girls – with hope to tell them how lonely I was feeling, but when speaking to them on the phone, I could hear their new friends in the background and gradually I began to feel like I was a nuisance. Before I knew it, I started to pretend that I made some friends too, just so I didn't feel left out but it in the end, it made me feel even more alienated and ultimately I lost my voice when it came to university."

"You lost your voice?"

"Metaphorically speaking." Mikan clarified, "I felt… I feel so small when I'm at university. So small and irrelevant, so much so that I just don't speak. I feel like a different person there. Maybe I have lost a part of myself there, like you said."

There was a slight pause – Natsume continued to look at Mikan, and Mikan pulled her knees towards her chest, placing her feet on the chair.

"So… when I told you last month that I was having trouble at university, I wasn't lying when I said it's nothing serious. Nothing serious has happened… it's just more of a personal psychological issue."

"I don't like that you're feeling small." Natsume firmly said, making it clear that he would not belittle her troubles like her mother had done. "I don't want you to feel small or irrelevant again. And don't brush your unhappiness off simply as a 'personal psychological issue', Mikan."

"I just… I was so excited for university. Everyone says it's the best years of their lives—"

"Of course not. Not everyone goes to university—"

"You _know_ what I mean. I'm just scared that I'm doing everything wrong, because to me, in my very limited view, it seems like I'm the only unhappy one at university."

"That's not true. Everyone is confused at university at some point, be it at the beginning or the end of it. University is not as great as its made out to be. I mean, how else would the government convince teenagers that it's a good idea to study and end up with an enormous amount of debt at the end of your degree?"

It was somewhat endearing to Mikan, even when she was feeling so sad when just remembering loneliness, that Natsume seemed so desperate to reassure her. Then she remembered: "Aoi told me you loved university."

This was true. When they were still fourteen, the nineteen-year-old university first-year Natsume Hyuuga, according to Aoi, never came back home, much to his father's worry. "Natsume told me on the phone last night that university is the best place on the earth and that he never wants to leave." Aoi had informed her teenage friends. They all had marveled in jealousy at the thought that Aoi's older brother was living away from home, and going to university parties every night. "I can't wait for uni!" they all had agreed upon at fourteen, wishing to be nineteen.

Natsume answered, "I did, but—"

Despite his kindness, at his confirmed confession Mikan suddenly felt incensed – for a moment, she no longer found his concern endearing, instead it was irritating. Why, she questioned, was Natsume being so understanding about her situation when in actuality, he couldn't possibly understand her loneliness at university? He had loved it! And so, she couldn't help but bitterly say, "So why are you insisting that 'university is not as great as its made out to be'? Don't say or make up things just to make me feel better. It makes me feel worse."

"I'm not making things up for your benefit—"

"Yes you are. Like you said, I've known you for ten years. And in those ten years, at one point, I heard from Aoi that you loved university – that you felt motivated there, interested in your studies, and that you made friends and that you were dating the prettiest girl on campus. All in your first year. You ticked all the boxes in your first year: studies, friends and love. Boxes that I _really_ wanted to tick too but didn't." Her tone was not exactly accusatory – instead, it was fatigued, sad and perhaps laced with slight jealousy that Natsume seemed to have had the perfect first year, a year so far and different from her own.

"I am _not_ making things up for your benefit, Mikan." This time, Mikan did not interrupt, as this time Natsume seemed more serious than she had ever seen him before. His voice was prickly, "You're speaking as if you think I can't relate to you because I've never known loneliness, and that's absolute bullshit. Just because I was happy at university doesn't mean I've never been unhappy or lonely, for God's sake. Why do you think I was such an angry fifteen years old? I was so fucking unhappy! My mother died when I was eight years old. I'm not saying that Aoi didn't love or need our mother just as much as I did, but when she died, I was at a complete loss and I frankly couldn't cope."

Now it was Natsume's turn to fidget with the pack of cards, rather clumsily, but he kept his eyes on Mikan. Mikan in turn was finally at a loss of words, and all the fervor she was feeling dissipated, like sugar dissolving in tea.

She knew that Kaoru Hyuuga had died unexpectedly in a car crash. But that was really all Aoi had ever said about her mother's death.

"I couldn't accept the fact that my mother had died, but instead of being sad about her death, I quickly became angry. I was furious – I was furious at the other driver, the old bastard; I was furious at the doctor for being unable to save her and I was furious at my father for not being as angry as I was. Then, I couldn't understand why, if not angry, he wasn't crying all the time. Only now do I realize that he just wasn't crying in front of me. At times, I was even furious at my mother for leaving me."

"Oh, Na—"

"Let me finish." Natsume asked of her. It was not easy for Natsume to say any of this. So once he started, he had to finish – any pauses would mean he would loose all coherence. "I did see that my father coped with her loss by painting portraits of my mother, and soon the house was filled with her. At nine, I started to fear the portraits – the portraits became a sick reminder of her absence, and so the house felt haunted. I couldn't tell my father earnestly, so I just became aggressive and cruel to hide my sadness and fear. This transferred onto my school-life too: I was a horrible kid – a bully in the classroom. I did stupid and cruel things just because I missed my mum. And soon enough, this new but very strong aggression became my character and nobody, not even my little sister, wanted to be around me."

Natsume's childhood, unlike Mikan's, was empty, cold and above all lonely. And Mikan never knew, and she had a sinking feeling that not even Aoi knew this about her brother.

"I met Luca at fourteen. By then, I was older and accepted that everyone, even mothers and fathers, die one day. I found a friend in him, and found comfort in cigarettes too, but I was still a horrible brother and son. It was only at university, when I was away from my house that I finally felt free from my mother's ghost and my own aggressive past. Mikan," She blinked, surprised to suddenly hear her name amidst his narrative, "I'm not telling you all this with the intention of belittling your experience and feelings, but I don't want you to think I'm making things up."

Mikan stood up. But she didn't move. She didn't move at all, but she stayed standing, and looking down on him as she stood, she cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I now know how selfish I must have sounded—"

Natsume too then stood up. But he too did not move. His hands were resting on the tabletop. "I didn't say all that with the intention of you to feel sorry for me either." He meant it. "I just want you to know that loneliness can sometimes narrow your vision-field. Sometimes you need to step back and look at the big picture. If I did so when I was a kid, I know that I wouldn't have been so harsh on my father, or have become as cruel as I did."

She took his example. "I feel so blind. I'm really sorry. I didn't know that about your past. I didn't know that about your mother."

"You wouldn't have," Natsume gently said, telling her not to blame herself, "Aoi doesn't know about any of this, I don't think." So, her gut feelings were correct. "She was only three when our mother died, so she probably has very few memories of her. By the time Aoi was old enough to understand her surroundings, I was already cruel, so she knew no better. I never spoke about it with her. I never really tell anyone this, so." This was true – his mother's death was deeply traumatic memory for Natsume; it was painful to think about it, let alone speak about it.

Mikan felt awful. "I'm sorry that you told me about your mother in such circumstances. Both you and your mother deserve better than that."

"That's not true." Natsume breathed slowly before he confessed, "I just want you to understand that _I_ understand. I just want to be here for you, Mikan. Not out of obligation because you're my sister's best friend, or because I'm a universally caring person like Luca, but because I like you – I like you specifically, exclusively. The way I feel about you is reserved for you, and you alone. And I don't want you to feel small or irrelevant, because you're neither small nor irrelevant. Not to me at least."

Mikan's heart was not erratically beating, instead, it was thumping in a steady, harmonious manner that signaled to herself that she may be developing feelings that she had never felt prior towards Natsume. She looked at him, standing there, the table dividing them, looking calm but breathing very deeply (nervously, even) as he gazed back at her, clearly awaiting a response.

A response. Yes, well, Natsume did just say he liked her exclusively. Although an unconventional confession, it was the best Mikan had received in her life. Much better than being asked out via Facebook chat at the age of thirteen from a boy she had met only once, at any rate.

"I don't feel small or irrelevant anymore. Not here with you." She couldn't help her voice slightly quiver. Her fingers quivered slightly took, as if electricity was running through them.

 _Ah_ … could this be the spark Aoi had mentioned?

"I can be there for you in Tokyo too. Here and there." Both Natsume's voice and eyes were apprehensive, as if he was scared that she might say she only saw him as Aoi's older brother. Silly, silly man. As if he had to promise her that to convince her.

So, Mikan responded with a warm smile. "Please be there for me. I'll be there for you too."

Silent relief and happiness flooded Natsume's eyes, and like a wine bottle, it was as if the cork had been popped, and he could breathe with ease again. It was not easy to lay your heart down – Mikan understood this very well now. But they had both done so; both had told each other that they wanted to be there for one another in the future. No talk of a relationship or love yet, but to Mikan, this was more than enough: having a promise of having someone to rely on was enough, and deeply satisfying.

In her silent happiness, she couldn't help but throw her head back and laugh – mainly because she was so happy, but partly also because of Natsume's expression. "Don't ask my how, but for a second there, you just looked like a bottle of wine."

Natsume eyebrows showed incredulity at her out-of-nowhere statement, which made her laugh harder.

"Wine?" he double-checked.

"Don't worry, expensive wine," she sweetly but teasingly explained, "a rare bottle of wine. Maybe French."

He smiled at her affectionately, his incisor slightly biting his bottom lip.

There was still much to be said between them. Many more things, which would need clarification and many more words that were to be exchanged and promised but tonight, the night was over for them. Even if they didn't want it to end, their exchange halted at the sound of the front door opening, alongside Aoi, Anna and Nonoko's chatter.

Before they entered the living room though, Mikan said to Natsume, "Thank you for tonight."

"We'll have a 'fun' conversation next time."

"—was absolutely hilarious—oh!" Aoi cried, interrupting her own conversation upon seeing her brother and Mikan, standing, on opposite sides of the dining table, "I thought you were all asleep! None of you answered our texts."

"Where were you?" Glancing at the clock, she gasped, "It's past twelve! You couldn't have possibly been at the spa till now!"

"That's why you check your phone," Nonoko smirked, "that's why you _have_ a phone, Mikan."

Natsume sat down. Mikan too, opposite him. The three girls joined them, all falling into their chair with heavy sighs.

"So? Where were you?"

Aoi and Nonoko glanced at Anna. Anna noticed, and waved her hand, "Go ahead – you both can say. I'm too tired to tell."

Excitedly, Nonoko burst, "Well, we left the spa at around 8:30, but just before we were about to get into Aoi's car, pretty lil' Anna over here attracts the attention of four _very_ good-looking men!"

Anna piped up at this, "It wasn't me – it was _all_ of us." Anna was never too tired to be humble.

Aoi snorted, "Anna, please. Without you, tonight would have never happened."

"Oh my God!" Mikan laughed, excited, "And then?"

"They invited Anna—"

"Us _all_." Anna firmly corrected.

"—to dinner, and when she said 'no', we said 'yes' and they took us all our for dinner at a really good yakiniku place."

"Ahh, that's why you were late." Mikan laughed. "Good food and four good-looking men – I don't blame you."

Natsume cleared his throat, making them all glance at him. He had been somewhat ignored in this catch-up, and so made his presence clear. Maybe to remind Mikan was his main focus, who knows. But he was quickly soon ignored again – sparing only a glance at him, the girls turned back and continued their conversation: "Well, we're actually so late because the men wouldn't stop hounding Anna for her mobile number."

Their conversation continued, and Mikan laughed when hearing of Anna's disgust at being picked up at a car park of all places, and her insistence that these four men were not good-looking, but average (to which Nonoko had guffawed, "Your standards are incredible, Anna! Well, I suppose when thinking back on your ridiculously hot fling, that makes sense…") and her annoyance at their stupid doggedness. "Just, ugh, no." Anna declared, concluding her thoughts on the night.

"Really, Anna," Aoi sighed, "if tonight was 'ugh' for you, I'd love to see what a 'good' date night looks like for you."

The conversation continued some more, with Natsume just peering in, not contributing, and once all had been told, Aoi asked, "Where's Sumire and Hotaru?"

"Drunk, asleep." Mikan elucidated.

"And the Idiots?" she asked Natsume.

"Drunk, asleep." Natsume answered.

Aoi then questioned further. "What were you two doing?"

Natsume answered for himself and Mikan: "Talking about wine. French, expensive wine to be exact." Mikan very nearly burst out laughing – she managed to suppress it though, which resulted in her making a funny face.

Nonoko and Anna clearly did not suspect a thing. They just yawned, and said, "Let's go to bed," as Aoi regarded her brother with suspicion.

As everyone stood, tucked in their chairs ready to go to bed, Aoi called at her brother, "Natsume."

"Mm?"

"Stop flirting with Mikan." Aoi's tone was not severe in any way, instead, the way she said it made the statement seem like a joke (a private joke between the two), especially when Natsume only smiled at his little sister in response. Mikan just regarded this sibling exchange with confused trepidation and surprise. Anna and Nonoko seemed too tired to notice it. Smiling herself now, Aoi then said again, "I mean it! Stop flirting with Mikan."

When shuffling out the room, Natsume came behind Mikan and murmured in her ear, "It's too late for that."

She glanced back at him, finding his eyes. Now, even his eyes reminded Mikan of sweet summer wine. Finding everything in silence, Mikan only softly brushed her hand against his to bid him goodnight, and to thank him again for an unforgettable exploration – from marshmallows to wine, all in one night.

* * *

 **A/N:** I didn't want you guys to forget that Mikan's been unhappy for the past few months – definitely didn't want that to be something I touched on at the beginning and left, so here it all is! Mikan's true feelings concerning the loneliness she experienced. And I really wanted a proper, long conversation between Natsume and Mikan, not just riddles, so here's the result! Hope you liked it.

 **Review replies!**

 **ellem** : I'm so glad you like that line. It was actually inspired by Alexander Pope's poem, _The Rape of the Lock._ Thank you for your kind words about my story – much appreciated! Hope to hear from you again.  
 **Chethana917** : Glad you love it! Thanks for the review.  
 **Haruhi-chan131** : Indeed they did make their first move! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too. I promise this story will just be a fluffy lovestory so you can look forward to its sappy ending! Thanks for the review once again :) _  
_ **Vermillion Steps:** You're right, they are like teenagers again! Even at 20 I still write like a teenager, dear me. Natsume is _totally_ making use of Mikan's love of sweets – he's known her so long, he would know about her sweet tooth haha. Thanks for the review!  
 **AiramEnayle:** Yes, the silent Game is Love haha. Hope you enjoyed the butterflies! Thanks for your review again.  
 **kirstie123:** Oh yes, Mikan most definitely is interested in Natsume at the very least. Hope her feelings are further clarified here. Thanks for your very excited review! I loved the capslock.  
 **Crazy Shortie** : I'm glad you enjoyed my Game metaphors, like I said to ellem above, they are inspired by Pope's delicious mock-epic, _The Rape of the Lock_. I thought the idea of holding fingers in a sweet marshallow packet was quite sweet, so :) Glad you don't mind that there won't be any intricate plot twists – phew, because this story is simply a simple sweet love story (like a marshmallow, simple sweet and digestible, haha). Thanks for the review!  
 **Ash Myth:** Glad you're enjoying my story! Hope you liked this chapter.  
 **Nana Shinozaki:** Hope you enjoyed my update!  
 **SunBabyBoss:** I guess you're right – fast does work for them! Thanks for your review!  
 **YellowOrangeRed:** Wow, yay, glad you're fangirling – my writing must be somewhat exciting at any rate then! Thank you for your review! **  
Natsumemikan123:** Don't worry – her friends will understand! They're her friends after all! Glad you're liking the story more and more – that makes me so happy. Thanks for the review!  
 **AJSan17:** Yes, the Game! The world's most irritating or beautiful game, huh. Thanks for your review!


	10. Stop Flirting With Mikan

**A/N:** I don't own Alice Gakuen. Long, long chapter ahoy!

 **Stop Flirting With Mikan**

* * *

 _2007_

Mikan had just turned thirteen. Now thirteen, as we all know, is a difficult age: changes happen both around us and in our very body too and so thirteen can be disorientating, confusing but above all exciting.

The feeling of excitement is what coursed through Mikan when one morning she woke up, and got undressed for her daily morning shower, when through her sleepy morning yawn, her eyes spotted something in the mirror. That woke her up, oh yes it did—she gasped, and glanced down and then—"MUM! MUM! Mum, mum, mum!"

"What sweetheart!" Yuka burst into the bathroom, worried and scared at her daughter's cry, only to see Mikan standing, looking enourmously proud of herself.

"I've grown boobs!" the thirteen year old Mikan joyously announced.

"You—Wait, what?" Yuka did a double-take. "You? Boobs?"

"Yes!" Mikan happily confirmed. "I," she patted her breasts, "have," another pat, "boobs! I'm a lady now!"

Yuka felt her left eye twitch. What Mikan called 'boobs' were merely bee-stings, but Yuka didn't have the heart to tell this to her ecstatic daughter. Did she really leave the stove on downstairs for _this?_ "Wow, I'm so happy, Mikan dear." Yuka's smile was tight. "I'm going to go back down to finish making breakfast with your father—"

"Wait, mum!" Mikan importantly stopped her mother. "We must discuss this weekend!"

"This weekend?"

"Yes! Now that I have boobs I have to buy a bra!" Mikan couldn't help but clap her hands in pure and utter delight—a bra, finally! All of her friends had boobs and it was about time puberty gave her a pair too! Just last weekend Sumire had shown the gang her green B-Cup bra, and all of them held up the bra carefully and with reverence as if it was the Holy Grail.

Finally she will have a bra too! Bra! Bra-bra-bra! Bra-vo!

Yuka didn't know how to reply. Awkwardly, but cautiously she answered, "Mikan, _dear_ … you've not developed enough quite yet for a bra—" Immediately Mikan's face fell, all happiness melting. Seeing the new, sad expression on her daughter's face, Yuka hastily continued, "B-But this weekend we can go buy you a _training_ bra! How's that?"

Mikan's face lit up once more like the spring sun, and she clapped around in the bathroom. Training bra, normal bra—what difference did it make to her! A training bra was still a bra! Hallelujah—ladies and gentlemen, Mikan Sakura is growing up!

The weekend came, and early on Saturday morning, Yuka took her most eager daughter to an inexpensive but cute underwear shop (perfect for early teens, the internet had said), and Mikan came out the shop with an important air around her, but as soon as she was tucked away in her mother's car, with a jubilant squeal she ripped the paper bag open to pull out her new polka-dotted training bra that she had picked out.

Tonight, the gang had plans to gather and have a study session (another name for sleepover) at Aoi's house. As she hugged her new training bra, Mikan decided that tonight would be _the_ night that her friends see her for the new, fabulous lady she had become this week.

And so, that evening, with her new training bra on, Mikan went to Aoi's house, where all her friends were congregated. Mr. Hyuuga opened the door for her, informing her that the gang was upstairs in Aoi's room. She rushed upstairs, banged the door open.

"About time!" Aoi cried. "We were about to start a movie without you!"

Mikan threw her sleepover and school bags (they were going to do _some_ work after all, maybe tomorrow morning) onto Aoi's bedroom floor, and before her friends could give Mikan the movie options, Mikan prestigiously stretched out her arms in front of her. "Gang! I have an announcement!"

Hotary had scooted over on Aoi's bed slightly, and patted the new space – taking the hint, Mikan, still with her arms outstretched, walked towards Aoi's bed before she sat down, at the centre of room, at the centre of her friends.

"What, what?" Sumire asked, curious.

"Is it good news?" Nonoko questioned.

Mikan's smile was rather gloating at this point, and then without warning, Mikan pinched the hem of her teeshirt with both her hands, before she rolled her top up completely, grandly revealing her new and very precious polka-dotted training bra. "Ta-daaaa!" was the victorious cry that accompanied this great exposure.

It was at that very moment, when Mikan's top was pulled up, her new training bra on display that Aoi's bedroom door flew open. All the girls snapped their heads to the doorway, to see Aoi's eighteen year old brother standing there. He looked as if he were to speak, but upon seeing the scene before him, Natsume froze and paled.

The gang's jaws (save Mikan's) all dropped.

There was a slight pause.

The pause ended: Mikan screamed, screamed and _screamed_ at the top of her lungs, wrenching her top down, covering herself as the experience truly sunk in: Aoi's older brother had just seen her on Aoi's bed in her training bra! In her new polka-dotted training bra!

Natsume's reaction came next: " _Shit_ —"

"ONII-CHAN!" Aoi bellowed, springing up from her bed, standing in front of the screaming Mikan as if to shield her. "How could you!?"

"I didn't—"

" _This_ is why you're not allowed in my room unless you knock and get my permission first!" Aoi stamped her foot. Seeing that Hotaru was glaring at her brother whilst the other three crowded around the now mortified and sobbing Mikan, Aoi took the initiative and walked to her brother as she commanded, "Out! Out!"

She pushed her brother out before he could utter anything else, and she too left her bedroom, closing the door behind them. She dragged her older brother to his room where the reprimanding commenced, "Onii-chan! How could you! You _pervert!"_

"That wasn't my fault!" Natsume defended himself. Couldn't Aoi think for a second how _he_ felt?! It was mortifying on his part too—seeing your younger sister's _thirteen_ year old friend's training bra was not what an eighteen year old wanted to see.

It was grossly awkward!

Not understanding Natsume's unvoiced feelings, Aoi vehemently continued to speak for her friend, "You pervert! Stop peeking at my friend! Stop being weird and flirty!"

At this, even the usually stoic Natsume Hyuuga flared up. "Jesus _Christ_ , Aoi, I _wasn't_ peeking at your friend. I just came to ask about dinner! And if for one second you think that _that_ , whatever _that_ was, is 'being flirty' then you seriously have a lot to learn!"

Aoi seemed to have misunderstood what her brother said, as she responded with the same angry determination, "Stop flirting with Mikan!"

"I was _not_ flirting with a _thirteen year old_ for God's sake! Who do you take me for? Humbert Humbert?!"

Aoi did not understand Natsume's literary reference and so bristled, "You're gross! Mikan's never going to get married now, all because of _you!_ "

Natsume incredulously gaped at this before he slowly tried to explain to his naïve little sister, " _This_ and _marriage_ are completely irrelevant—"

"You better take responsibility!" Aoi snapped, with her arms crossed, as she glared at her brother.

Exasperated and irritated, Natsume derisively cried, "What, date and marry her myself?!"

Not quite realizing that her brother was being acerbic out of sheer impatience, Aoi gasped, shocked. "Oh my God," she clearly thought her brother sarcastic remark was in fact a sincere suggestion, "you _are_ a pervert! Stop flirting with Mikan and that's _final!"_

* * *

 _2012, Mikan's 18_ _th_ _Birthday_

The three Hyuugas were all invited to Mikan's eighteenth birthday party. In 2012, her birthday fell on a Saturday and being a stereotypically _important_ age (although, technically in Japan one becomes an adult at twenty, not eighteen), Mikan made sure her birthday was a large and extravagant affair.

The Sakuras had invited family, friends and friends' family to their daughter's eighteenth – so it wasn't a _typical_ eighteen year old party, saturated with alcohol, drunk teenagers and blasting with music, rather more a celebratory gathering. A gathering filled with genuine laughter, good music, good food, people of all ages and goofy dancing.

Natsume had initially been dragged to this party-gathering by both his sister and father, and climbed into the car with a slight sigh as his sister fixed his hair from the backseat.

It wasn't as if he had better things to do that night – no, that was not why he went with his family to the Sakura's house with a sigh – it was just that earlier, three hours beforehand, he had had another fight with his 'girlfriend'. Well, 'girlfriend' was not quite the right word… perhaps 'sex-friend' was more appropriate… but they weren't even friends.

He had found out earlier today that he was not her only 'sex-friend', and when he had called her to confront her, the girl had simply laughed at him over the phone, laughed and laughed, telling him not to be so surprised as they never were 'exclusive'. This was all true – she was right. She never said she was his girlfriend, and he never really thought of her as a girlfriend either. From the beginning, sex was the only reason they saw each other.

But even so, Natsume felt tired and very hollow… as if somebody had replaced all his insides with dead dust.

"Cheer up, Natsume," Aoi had said in the car, as she combed his hair back neatly, so it didn't fall messily on his face as it usually did, "you can leave early if you want to."

"Mmm." was Natsume's initial response before he sighed again and said, "I went to your other friends' birthday gatherings. It wouldn't be fair to Polkadots if I left her out."

Mr. Hyuuga smiled as he drove on. "That's very noble of you Natsume."

Aoi snorted, "She wouldn't care. Or notice. In fact, none of my friends care."

"Aoi…" came Mr. Hyuuga's first warning.

"What, it's just the truth…"

"Natsume's known Mikan and the rest of your friends for eight years now, Aoi," Mr Hyuuga said, "don't cast him off so cruelly like that. He probably knows them better than you think he does. He's like an older brother to all of them. He has every reason to be there for Mikan tonight."

Aoi nonetheless insisted, "They don't really care though."

Aoi was done with his hair now. Even though she was being slightly mean to her brother, she still had handled his hair with gentleness and made him look much better. _She_ cared, even though she acted like a bratty sister and Natsume knew that very well.

He couldn't help the sigh escape from his lips though; the girl's incredulous laugh still rung piercingly in his ears.

"Mikan's not been at the house much, Natsume," Mr. Hyuuga said (this was true – for the past few months, the girls gathered at Hotaru's recently renovated house instead of the Hyuuga household, meaning that Natsume had not seen much of Mikan for over half a year), "so you should greet her with a happy birthday and ask her how she is at the very least."

"I will."

"If you're still feeling upset after that—"

"I'm _not_ upset—"

"Uh, yes you are." Aoi pointed out.

" _If_ you're still feeling upset after that," Mr. Hyuuga's loud voice interrupted his two children, "then you can leave and take the train home."

The rest of the car journey was filled with Aoi's excited talk about both the party, and the present she had bought for Mikan.

When they arrived, the door was opened to them by Mrs. Sakura (who had thanked them all for coming, then complimented both Aoi and Natsume for their good looks, and then patted Mr. Hyuuga's back in an almost sisterly manner) and soon enough, Aoi dashed off in search for her best friend, who Mrs. Sakura said was in the living room by the drinks.

The first ten minutes of the party were however ruined by a text for Natsume – when he looked at his phone, he saw he had a message from the girl (whose laugh still echoed in his brain), and when he opened it, he felt even more hollowed: the girl had asked him to come to her apartment tonight… obviously just to have sex, not to talk. She had probably forgotten about his earlier phone call.

Her message was incredibly barren: _House free. Come to mine tonight._

There was nothing there. No emotions.

He didn't know what to say, to text, in reply.

He pocketed his phone with a sigh.

He decided he needed a drink.

Without his father (who was busy talking to Sumire's father), alone, he walked past the chattering crowd of young and old, and thankfully spotted the alcoholic drinks. There, laughing whilst pouring beer out to an old family friend was the slightly flushed birthday girl.

Seeing Natsume, Mikan waved at her friend's older brother. "Hey!"

"Hey," Natsume answered, but before he could wish Mikan a happy birthday, she came to give him a small hug, accompanied with a, "Thanks so much for coming, Natsume!" When letting go of him, she looked up at him with a warm and beautiful smile.

Wait, beautiful?

Oh, yes – very, very beautiful – Natsume looked down at her and noticed that in the past few months he had not seen her, Polka had become so incredibly… beautiful?!

Here, in her birthday dress, he realized that this was not the same young girl with the polka-dotted training bra – no, that girl had grown up into the beautiful lady standing in front of him.

Mikan Sakura was beautiful! Is, is, _is_ beautiful!

… Or did she simply just look more beautiful because he was heartbroken? Like Romeo with Juliet and the backdrop of Rosaline? But wait – he wasn't heartbroken! No, his heart was perfectly fine; he was just feeling disillusioned and hollowed… maybe, it simply her genuine sincerity that was beautiful, after a day of false emotions… her sincerity filled the hollowness, like honey in an acorn cup.

"Where are the others?" he asked.

"Hmm, probably gone to sort out my surprise birthday cake that Anna made… don't tell Aoi that," she smiled, causing Natsume to blink once again at facing her beauty, "they don't know that I know. I can read my friends like a book."

When he looked her again (he couldn't stop!) he now saw that the earrings that Aoi had carefully chosen for Mikan were on her ears. This reminded him – he pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket, "I'm sorry I don't have a present. Just a card."

He then really wished he _had_ bought her something.

Not knowing his wish, Mikan took the card from him with happiness. "You didn't need to get me a gift, Natsume. Besides," she glanced up at him, "I love cards."

"You do?"

"They're the best bits."

He smiled at her. "Well, don't expect poetry from me. I'm not a poet."

"Just words are fine. It's the act of writing I like. The world is full of paper. A pen always has a snug fit. You don't need to be a poet to write."

He wanted to talk to her more. Tonight, for some reason, Mikan was not his little sister's friend. He wanted to talk with Mikan Sakura, but soon after she had passed him a flute of champagne, a school friend squealed Mikan's name from behind.

And off she went – but not before leaving him with a grateful smile and the words, "Stay as long as you like! You're absolutely welcome!"

Natsume watched her dance with this school friend, and admired her uninhibited laugh and the way she threw her head back when she drank her birthday wine.

"Why, why!" an old man standing close by Natsume (maybe Mikan's grandfather's friend) clapped his hand, before tapping his wife's shoulder, "Look, there Mikan is! My, my, how she's grown!"

"Why, she's beautiful!" The wife gasped. "Grown up into such a lady!"

Natsume couldn't help turn to them and say, "And she's smart too."

The old man raised his eyebrow at Natsume's sudden interjection, but the old woman's eyes glazed over (clearly she thought Natsume was beautiful too) and she pushed past her husband to get closer to Natsume to say, "Oh yes? Smart and beautiful? How marvelous! And you – who are you?"

"I'm," he paused, considered the question before he replied, "a friend."

"Oh! A _boy_ friend, perhaps?" This old woman's eyes were now hearts.

"No, nothing like that."

The thought and possibility then crept into his mind… Mikan Sakura's boyfriend? My, my, how would it be to be her's and she his! Would it be marvelous, as the old woman said?

The 'interrogation' came to a halt, as all of a sudden the lights had dimmed and the Happy Birthday song burst from the kitchen, and there appeared the girls with a ginormous birthday cake. He watched it all—her exuberant face, her laughter, the shutting of her eyes when making a wish, the blowing of the candles, then the clapping which clapped him out of his reverie too.

He stayed, and after a while found himself next to Aoi.

"Natsume," she squeezed his hand, clearly happy to see him still here, "you seem alright."

"Hmm?"

"I was slightly worried… you did seem quite upset before."

Oh yes. He had been upset. He had forgot. "I'm fine now."

The clocks had pushed forward and the night had deepened - the older generation had wished Mikan goodbye, and so those who remained now were the young'uns, still throbbing with youth. The lights were now dimmed, and the music raised – people were starting to dance, fuelled with silly effects of alcohol.

"I can see that," Aoi smiled, and then looked in the direction to where his gaze rested upon. Then, incredulously she asked, "Do you want to dance?"

"Hm? What?" He looked at his little sister, understanding what she had just said with a slight delay. "Dance? Me? Oh God no."

"Then what are you looking at?" she glanced again at where her brother had been gazing prior to her interruption. "Mikan?"

"Yeah," Natsume admitted, "she looks really beautiful tonight."

"Tonight? Natsume, Mikan's _always_ beautiful!"

"Maybe she is."

As if knowing they were talking about her, Mikan met the two siblings' gaze, and responded by swaying over to them. Her cheeks were pink, and by her slightly dazed look, both Hyuugas knew Mikan was slightly drunk. Aoi pulled Mikan into her arms, and Mikan then pulled an arm out to Natsume, so they became a huddled trio.

"Mmm. Cosy." She happily sighed. "And if it isn't my favourite pair of siblings! My absolute favourite! … Don't tell Sumire that. Or Hotaru." She added as an afterthought. "But you guys are pretty great."

Natsume also put his arm around Mikan, and couldn't help but say, "You look beautiful, Mikan. Happy birthday."

Mikan drunkenly smiled in Natsume's direction, and tapped her finger on his nose before she drifted and waltzed away back into the dancing crowd.

When he heard his sister clear his throat pointedly, he looked back down at Aoi. "What?" he questioned her raised eyebrow.

"' _You look beautiful, Mikan'_?" Aoi repeated with slight disgust, now both her eyebrows raised.

"Well she does. You said so yourself."

Her eyes rolled. "You don't say that _to_ her, Natsume! She's _my_ friend. Got it? Stop flirting with Mikan."

But that didn't stop him that night from dreaming for the first time about Mikan. The dream woke him up, and at 2:18am, Natsume was wide-awake, staring up at his ceiling, his covers crumpled haphazardly around him. He put a hand up to his head, and exhaled deeply, trying his best to calm down.

He hadn't had a dirty dream in ages – and now, after her party, he dreams about himself and Mikan?! His little sister's friend who he had known for eight years?! Is this alright… is this even legal?!

He calmed down. Of course it was legal. He was allowed to dream about whatever – this isn't _1984_ , he can't be arrested for his dreams.

But wow. A dirty dream featuring Mikan in his bed.

He turned in his bed on his side, and took a deep breath.

But now he thought about it, the dream wasn't _that_ dirty. In fact… now that he had calmed down a bit, he remembered that his dream was… sweet, romantic even. He closed his eyes, trying to replay it.

That's when he realized he wished his dream were real. He understood now – he understood that he hated his current cheap relationship, and as if fate was watching, his phone by his bedside table suddenly lit up.

It was her. Another emotionless text: _Are you coming or not._

It was time to reply, and time to end this lifeless thing once and for all: _No I'm not. I can't do this anymore. Just realized that I'm looking for more (not with you). Hope you have a happy life._

* * *

 _2012 New Year's, beginning of 2013_

The Hyuuga's this year were having a New Year's Party in the spacious house. By 11pm, most of the invited guests were here, watching the final few minutes of _Kohaku_ on television, eagerly awaiting moment the '2' at the end of the year would turn to a '3'.

The bubbly champagne was impatiently waiting for 12am and 2013 to come along.

Natsume too was waiting for the clock to strike midnight.

New Year's meant four things: family, friends, alcohol and a New Year's Kiss. And this year, Natsume hoped to get his kiss from Mikan Sakura.

 _Surely_ Aoi couldn't say anything about that! New Year's Kisses were a tradition after all! Not to mention they were, well, innocent.

Bah! Innocent!

Natsume did not feel so innocent as the clock marched forward. Surely _planning_ to have 2013's first kiss with Mikan was past the point of innocence. When Mr. Hyuuga had mentioned a New Year's Party in November, Natsume had just shrugged. Aoi on the other hand wholeheartedly agreed, and thenceforth urged her father to make this talk a reality. Now, Mikan had been dancing in his mind ever since her birthday party, and every time he saw her after her party at his house, he just wanted to speak to her. That didn't happen very often though. But when Aoi had convinced her father and announced the following day that all her friends were coming, suddenly a party seemed like a good idea to Natsume.

And it was around Christmas when he thought to himself, 'oh, wouldn't it be great to kiss Mikan on New Year's?'.

His _'planning'_ was _exactly_ a meticulous planning procedure or anything – it was just past the point of simply hoping, for Natsume planned to be next to her when the clock struck. Simple as that.

But alas alack! It seemed Natsume wasn't the only one who hoped to kiss Mikan at midnight, for throughout the night, Natsume spied a brunette boy tailing Mikan. Fine—maybe 'tailing' was too harsh, but either way, this boy (who was one of Aoi and Mikan's classmate – Kei, to be exact) seemed to enjoy Mikan's company and regrettably Mikan seemed to enjoy his company too.

"Hey, Natsume!" Luca called.

He turned and saw that his best friend had a worried expression on his face. "What? You alright? What happened?"

" _I'm_ fine," Luca said before he explained, " _Koko_ on the other hand isn't feeling too good."

Natsume groaned. "I told him to stop with those jaeger bombs."

"He's upstairs in your bathroom."

Bathroom, more like _barfroom_. In the short time Luca had come down to get Natsume, Koko had vomited all over the bathroom floor, and was now heaving over the toilet bowl.

"Jesus Christ," Natsume groaned as he covered his nose with his hand, "how much did you drink?" Despite his harsh tone, Natsume crouched down and rubbed his friend's back and asked Luca to get the bleach from the cupboard. "You okay? Have you thrown it all up yet?"

"I think so." Koko moaned back, still clutching the toilet bowl. "Fuck—I'm never drinking again!"

"I seem to recall that you said that last New Year's Eve too." Luca said, as he passed the bottle of bleach to Natsume.

"Well, let's get you to bed then." Natsume said to Koko, as he put the bleach bottle down for now—cleaning will come after. He put Koko's arm around his shoulders and Luca followed suit by putting Koko's other arm around his own shoulders, and together, they encouraged Koko walk towards Natsume's bed. Natsume made a mental note to clean all of his sheets, as he helped his friend (who smelt more than disgusting) into his bed. Very soon, the grateful drunk was asleep.

Before Natsume could sigh in relief however – he heard the countdown. Both him and Luca looked at each other, before they skidded out of the room and thundered down the stairs.

 _5_

 _4_

Natsume spotted Mikan—

 _3_

But she was too far to reach!

 _2_

And she was looking at Kei, not at him.

 _1! Happy New Year!_

He watched as Mikan and Kei enthusiastically kissed each other.

"Happy New Year," he muttered to himself with a slight sigh, tasting nothing but defeat in his mouth.

Mikan had her eyes shut as she kissed Kei, and was about to wound her arms around his neck when she suddenly split her champagne all over him, causing them to spring apart from each other. Shocked at her clumsiness, Mikan gaped at the now-drenched Kei who stared at her back with equal shock, but then Mikan started to laugh before apologising.

The kissing was over.

"I'm so sorry Kei!" Mikan apologized to her friend. "I'll go get some tissues, one second," and now she was walking towards him. Seeing that the box of tissues was close by him, Natsume picked it up, and reached it out towards her.

"Oh! Natsume!" Mikan smiled at him. "Thank you!... But how did you know I needed tissues… unless—oh God! Did you see me—" by Natsume's smile she knew that he had indeed seen her spill her drink all over Kei, "oh _God_ that's so embarrassing. Tell me, why are you always there to witness my embarrassing moments?"

Natsume passed her the box of tissues. "It's in the job description." Natsume joked.

Mikan laughed. "Well, happy New Year, Natsume."

"Happy New Year." When he said it this time, he no longer tasted defeat in his mouth.

Smiling, she went back to Kei and apologized for her clumsiness. Natsume watched this interaction for a few seconds, but then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked to see Aoi standing beside him.

"Natsume… why did I just see Mikan by your side?"

"Because she's at our New Year's party?"

"Yes, but why was she by your side right after the countdown?... You didn't by any chance kiss my friend did you? Kiss her at midnight?"

"No. No I didn't."

"Then why was she just here talking to you? The countdown was a few seconds ago."

"She needed tissues."

Aoi sceptically looked at her older brother. "Stop flirting with Mikan."

Natsume sighed. "Happy New Year, Aoi."

"Happy New Year, Natsume."

As Koko was asleep in his bed, he spent the night on the couch. And his first dream of 2013 went something like this: at 11:59pm, he had found Mikan, made her laugh and when the clock struck 12:00, it was _him_ kissing her, not Kei, and then indeed in his dreams too she spilt her drink on him (instead of Kei), and he laughs at her clumsiness along with her, before stopping her in getting tissues by pushing her hair behind her ear, and then pulling her towards him to kiss her all over again.

It was a good dream... but bittersweet, as it showed him what _could_ have happened that night...what _didn't_ happen.

* * *

 _2013_

He didn't see much of her at all – studying for university had taken control over his sister's life, and so he assumed all of her friends were in similar positions.

But one evening, Aoi came back home with both a tired expression on her face and Mikan besides her. Mikan's face silently spoke of exhaustion. Natsume had been cooking spaghetti Bolognese for dinner when the two entered, and Mikan rather tiredly said hello to him before she followed Aoi into the living room, one wall away from him in the kitchen.

Aoi closed the living room behind them. Ten minutes later however Aoi reemerged and said to her brother, "I'm going to the convenience store. Do you need anything?"

Natsume said he did not, and so Aoi left.

Wasting no time, Natsume knocked the living room door and opened it to see Mikan hunched over a thick textbook, her hands desperately clinging onto her hair, as if hoping her strands of hair would have harvested some vital information from her brain.

"That was quick—oh," she thought it was Aoi, "it's you."

"You don't look too good."

"Ugh," Mikan sighed, "I'm alright. Except that I hate biology… hey," an idea seemed to have come to her, "any chance you remember high-school biology?"

Ah. Biology was Luca's forte, not his. No matter, he wasn't going to turn down a potential opportunity to help (and maybe impress) Mikan. "Let's see," he now hunched over the text book too, Mikan's hair nearly brushing his face, "… ah, yeah I remember this."

He took the chair beside her and started to explain.

Mikan's hand then flew across the page as she made notes, whilst nodding vigourously. " _Ohh_ ," she finally said, when the light-bulb switched on, "I get it!" Happily, she scribbled the answer down.

"So, what's the plan for you? What are you going to study at university?"

Mikan dropped her pen to speak to Aoi's older brother. "Well, I'm taking a gap year with the rest of the girls. I think I want to study Literature… but I'm not sure yet."

A gap year! Ahh, yes, Aoi had mentioned how she wanted to travel with her friends for the year… that would mean he would not see Mikan for a year, if their plans truly did materialize as they hoped it would.

A year is a long time, he thought to himself. Perhaps during the course of such year his lil' crush on his sister's friend would fade by the time she returned. Who knows, maybe he'd even have a girlfriend by then. A _real_ girlfriend, not a sex-friend.

The door opened—"I bought brain food—hey, Natsume… what are you doing?"

"He helped me with the biology – I finally got the answer to that stupid question!"

Aoi seemed pleased at first, "Oh really? Finally!" but then she her eyes narrowed, and they followed her brother as he stood up from beside Mikan and told them he was going to finish cooking the spaghetti. Mikan thanked him for his help before he left to the kitchen. Not fifteen seconds passed when suddenly Aoi was by his side in the kitchen, having left Mikan in the living room again.

"Natsume. I think I've said this before to you but _stop_ flirting with Mikan!" Her voice was lowered so Mikan could not hear from the room next door.

"How is helping her with biology _flirting_?" Natsume innocently questioned.

Aoi simply suspiciously sniffed at him in response.

* * *

 _2014_

They were all back from their travels; not necessarily any wiser but they all felt a little bit older, and happy to be back in Tokyo at any rate.

To celebrate their _nostos_ , the Shouda family booked a meal for all the girls and their family. "A proper homecoming party is in order!" was Mrs. Shouda's declaration before she called a fancy restaurant in Akasaka to make a reservation.

Dinner was booked for 7pm. 7:15 was the important time though – the time when all finally became clear to Natsume. Mikan was already there with her mother and father, sitting, chatting to the Shoudas when the Hyuugas arrived at the restaurant. Like Aoi, Mikan's hair was longer and her face slightly thinner. She was turning 20 soon and there was a definite air around her that told Natsume that not everything she saw in the world was good and pure.

And when she saw the Hyuugas, and smiled at them all… well, that was when it all made sense. When it all became clear. When Natsume finally understood.

Like a firework, everything lit up and burst. Or maybe the illumination was more like a volcano – he had been dormant for a while, but upon seeing her again the explosive eruption started, the lava gushing from the mouth of the volcano… he was no longer dormant. Here he was and here she was too.

Mikan Sakura inspired such explosions in his heart after a year. If this wasn't real, he didn't know what was.

He found himself sitting next to Hotaru's older brother, Subaru. He liked Subaru - he had always gotten along with him. And despite the fact that Dr. Subaru Imai was explaining to Natsume about the complicated but deeply interesting potential evolving nature of the Ebola virus (which was the talk of that summer), Natsume, who usually loved talks of science, couldn't help but look in Mikan's direction from time to time.

He was distracted and had to keep reminding himself to concentrate. His words stumbled a few times, and at one point his spoon missed his mouth, hitting his cheek instead.

As they were all sat down, Natsume could not speak to Mikan that night as she was sitting on the other side of the table (their only exchange being: "Hey Natsume! Could you pass me the salt?" "Hey. How are you? Here you go." "I'm good. You? Thanks!" "I'm fine. You're welcome.").

Natsume drove his little family home that night, as Mr. Hyuuga had perhaps one too many glasses of wine. Mr. Hyuuga was softly dozing off in the backseat, and patting her father's hand, Aoi rested her head on her dad. She had missed her family terribly when she was travelling.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" Aoi asked her brother.

His eyes on the road, Natsume answered, "Yeah I did."

"I'm glad."

Then after a while, the car steadily rolling on, Natsume asked, "Do any of your friends have boyfriends now?"

His tone was casual. But Aoi was immediately suspicious and raised her head from her father's shoulder, her back straightened now. "Why?"

"Just curious. I mean you're all older now."

"And if I said 'yes'?"

He shrugged, "I'm just curious."

Aoi sighed. "Why don't you just ask Mikan yourself?"

"I—" he then realised what she had just said. After a pause, Natsume replied. "I didn't say Mikan."

Natsume saw Aoi raise her eyebrows in the mirror. She didn't answer straight away. But then, she held Natsume's shoulder and pulled herself closer to him from the backseat. "Natsume… stop fl—"

He knew what was coming and so interrupted her, "'Stop flirting with Mikan' – you've said so, time and time again."

"And just _why_ do I have to keep reminding you _time and time again_?" Aoi poked his shoulder before falling back deeply into the backseat. They drove silently for a while, but then came Aoi's answer, "She doesn't have a boyfriend. Just so you know."

She was staring outside the window, her arms crossed across her chest.

* * *

 _Later on in 2014_

The girls were all going to university now. In two weeks' time, they would be university students. Once again Mrs. Shouda decided the girls and their families needed a celebratory gathering, so invited everyone to their house on Saturday night.

And once again, that evening, Mikan looked lovely to Natsume, and lucky for him there was no arranged seating plans– everyone stood and sat at their leisure, and seeing her sat alone on the sofa with a mini-burger in her hand, he went to her.

She waved at him as he approached. "Well, you look happy! Hi, Natsume." Mikan teased once he was close enough to her.

He sat down next to her, "I am happy."

She raised her eyebrow. "Really? If I didn't know any better, you're actually desperately upset that your precious little sister is leaving to university soon. She's growing up."

"We all do."

Mikan ate her burger and said, "You should get one too! They're so yummy."

"I will in a bit." He wanted to stay by her after all. "You're going to Ali-U, right?"

Mikan swallowed before confirming, "Yup. Ali-U for me!" She smiled at him and said, "I'll still be in Tokyo so maybe I'll see you around."

This statement alone sounds very promising, but Natsume felt disheartened by her tone. Her tone was so incredibly friendly, that Natsume knew then that to Mikan, he was only Aoi's older brother. By being Aoi's brother, he was inadvertently placed and locked in Mikan's friendzone. And the sad thing was, before she had said this, Natsume was actually planning to ask for her number tonight.

But he felt disheartened now. He just felt like an older brother all of a sudden.

Later that evening, he lay on his bed, on top of the covers. He didn't notice Aoi coming in to his room – only when she _sat down_ on his _stomach_ did he acknowledge her presence, with a guttural groan. "Aoi—"

Giggling, she slid off his stomach and lay down on his bed next to her older brother. "Hey you."

"Hey."

He looked at his little sister, and she looked at him. They spoke for a while – about random things: from the washing machine at home to future time machines.

Then she said, "I'm going to miss you, onii-chan."

Feeling brotherly, he put his hand on Aoi's head, "I'm going to miss you too, Aoi."

"You didn't flirt with Mikan tonight."

He raised her eyebrow at this sudden statement, but coolly he replied, "You told me to stop after all." He patted her head.

Then, with a Cheshire cat smile, she left his room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Aoi always said he flirted with Mikan. Truth was, he never really had. Maybe it was time to start flirting with her, he thought. If he ever wanted Mikan to look at him not as Aoi's older brother but as a man, he probably would have to make his interest in her clear. He couldn't simply confess his feelings, as he feared if he did so without getting her attention first, she would simply say no, just because he was Aoi's older brother. She probably wouldn't even _consider_ for a _second_ the possibility of them dating, let alone loving each other.

Yes, yes. He knew by now that he really did like Mikan.

The next time he sees her… he'll make sure to get her attention. He'll make sure to do something or say something that would make her see him differently.

Before sleep took him, he wondered when he would see Mikan next.

* * *

 _May 2015 – The 'next' time he saw Mikan_

This was it. It was now or never. She was sitting next to him, so close to him, and the mahjong table hide their legs. With an ardent resolve, he slipped his free hand under the table, and touched her leg.

At first, she flinched, and apologetically smiled at him.

His resolve hardened. _That was no mistake, Mikan._

He touched her again, now firmly putting his hand on her thigh. She froze. From his peripheral vision he saw that her cheeks and neck were now flushed and that her hands were faintly shaking.

He stroked her leg.

He shuddered ever so slightly.

He hoped this worked. And he hoped to God that Mikan didn't now think of him as a pervert – the pervert that Aoi had once accused him of being, many years ago.

* * *

 **A/N:** As you were _all_ so interested in knowing when Natsume's feelings for Mikan started, I decided to write this chapter. It's really long but I hope you enjoyed it!

Be excited for the next chapter – the two may or may not finally do more than holding hands… who knows… ;)

 **Thank you ALL so much for your reviews! Review replies:**

 **Chewybillabong** : Yes, expensive French wine, haha. The best! Hope you enjoyed the update. Thanks for your review!  
 **ResistanceLover** : Thank you for your review and your kind words about my writing. I'll probably update Resistance in Autumn time when all the leaves are falling haha.  
 **kristie123** : Glad you love it! And your question: 'When will Natsume and Mikan officially become a couple'… well… perhaps in the next chapter, perhaps not. ;) Thanks for your review!  
 **Carolle Royale** : Firstly, thanks so much for all your reviews, both on this story and on Resistance. I love Whatsapp too, haha. Thanks very much for all your kind words!  
 **Haruhi-chan131** : I'm glad you sympathise with Mikan, because I admit that sometimes I am writing from the heart when writing of Mikan's experience with loneliness. I agree with you though – it _is_ a part of life, another lesson to learn. And haha, me too my friend – I'm always too nervous to text first, so I never do. Thanks so much for your review! I enjoy them every time.  
 **MiharuEndou** : You're right – flirty Natsume is the best haha. So glad you're enjoying my story! Thanks for the review!  
 **elleemina** : Ah, thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you find my characters real and relatable – that's the kind of story I set out to write after all. Hope this ranks among your favourite chapter list! Thanks again! Really appreciate it.  
 **Anilissa** : They're not quite an 'item' yet, but they will be soon (maybe… or maybe not ;)) Thanks for your review!  
 **AiramEnayle** : Yay butterflies! Thanks for saying that my story is simple but deep – that's really sweet of you. Thanks so much for your review!  
 **LeValStillin** : Thank you so much for your review! Now you know when Natsume started to look at Mikan in 'that' way, haha.  
 **JZ56** : Glad you stuck with me thus far! I'm not very good at catching attention, but I am really glad you stuck around! Thanks very much for your review, I appreciate it. :c  
 **EPICEST OF THE EPIC** : Well, your penname is epic, I must say! Glad you like my story, and hope you liked my update!  
 **Vermillion Steps** : Thanks so much for your review! Yes, I felt that we needed to see them have a deeper conversation. After all, Natsume wants something real now :)  
 **Natsumemikan123** : This chapter should have answered your question (which was, in case you need reminding, 'does Aoi know that Natsume has a thing for Mikan? Why does she always say stop flirting in a joking way' – voila!) Hope the answer was satisfying! Thanks so much for your review.  
 **CrazyShortie** : Glad you loved the previous chapter. Glad you like the wine metaphor too, haha. I just noticed this story probably has too much alcohol references though… ah well. Thanks so your kind review!  
 **Animaddict** : Wow, thanks so so so much for your lovely review! Especially for calling this 'art' haha. So lovely of you! _You're_ great for leaving such kind words. Thanks so much again.  
 **YellowOrangeRed** : Hahahaha, glad you 'frickin'' love my writing. So sweet. Hope you liked this chapter too! Thanks for the review!  
 **Night'sWarrior** : Thanks for your review! Glad you enjoyed my last chapter!  
 **shadowmanipulator** : Thanks for the review! Glad you're enjoying the story so far.

Until next time!


	11. Stars Falling

**A/N** : I don't own Alice Gakuen.

 **Stars Falling**

* * *

Quite unsurprisingly, the next day, the last to wake up were Hotaru, Sumire and Mikan – Hotaru and Sumire purely because of their alcohol consumption the night before, whilst Mikan simply could not sleep the night before due to her excited, beating heart.

The three all groggily moaned when they helped pull each other up in the morning. "Please say that Hotaru and I didn't _tribal chant_ last night," Sumire groaned, "Please say that was my dream."

"If that's the case, then I had the same dream as you." Hotaru closed her eyes, shaking her head faintly in regret.

"Oh _God_." The confirmation made Sumire fall back into her futon. But then she stood up, as if she had remembered something else from the night before. She looked around, found Mikan, before she exclaimed, "Did something happen between you and Natsume? I seem to remember you two being suspiciously cutesy with each other last night," Mikan immediately blushed, "… or was _that_ a dream?"

"I picked up on that too." Hotaru's eyes were now opened.

It was only the three of them in the room – Aoi, Anna and Nonoko had clearly already gone down to eat breakfast, and Mikan decided it was time to tell Hotaru and Sumire. "I think… Well, I _know_ that Natsume likes me."

Sumire gasped. "What!"

"He _what!"_ Hotaru's gasp harmonized with Sumire's quite prettily.

"I know, I know, I _know_ it sounds crazy," Mikan put her hands up, hoping her friends would let her speak, "and a large part of me doesn't believe it either… but Natsume has been flirting with me since May, and I ignored it at first, because – you know – I'm crap at understanding boys, and I wasn't sure if he was flirting or if he was just being friendly or if I was making things up in my head." She spoke very fast. The good thing was, Sumire and Hotaru seemed so shocked by the news, their mouths just remained agape and mute, so Mikan continued, "But I know now that he does like me."

"What! Ah! What! Since when?" Sumire finally burst, clearly beyond the point of excitement. "How did this start?"

"I… I don't really know. I haven't asked him yet."

"Are you two dating now?"

"No—"

"No as in 'I don't plan to date him' or no as in 'not yet'? Do you like him?"

"Wait, does Aoi know?"

"Agh!" Mikan clutched her hair. "Shit guys – do you think Aoi will hate me?"

"For what?"

"For liking her brother!" Her confession came, and her two friends' faces were so close to her now, with big round eyes like buttons.

"You _like_ Natsume!" Sumire squealed. "Oh my—since when!"

"Shhh!"

After the jubilant squealing subsided, Hotaru, quite surprisingly, started to laugh very hard. It was if she was remembering the previous ten years in ten _seconds_ , finding it incredulous but rather beautiful that her friend's older brother had feelings towards her best friend, and her best friend towards her friend's older brother after all these years. Personally, she only saw Natsume Hyuuga as Aoi's older brother, but she didn't mind him at all – despite her earlier impressions of him, she knew him now to be polite, quiet, smart and sometimes witty.

"Aoi won't mind." Hotaru waved off Mikan's concern.

But Sumire glanced at Hotaru before saying, "You think?"

Hotaru smiled at Mikan, reassuringly. "Aoi's smart. She's probably even picked up on it. And at the end of the day, she just wants you and her brother to be happy, be it separately or together."

"I'll tell her today," Mikan slightly sighed, slightly worried. Of course she was concerned – she had thought about this last night too – what if, if they really did start to date, one day they broke up? And it was a messy, messy break-up? What would Aoi do? Would it be fair on Aoi? Would she even be okay with them dating to begin with?

On the other hand, Sumire no longer seemed to hold a shred of concern (Hotaru's words rung truth to her and so reassured her initial slight worry), and so smoothly continued to show her excitement by perkily saying, "Tell us _everything_. From the beginning!"

The problem was, Mikan did not really know when the beginning was… for her, it was probably May but little did she know that Natsume's feeling's genesis sprung many, many, many days before that. She told her two friends her side of the story forever, hoping, as she told them, that she would one day hear Natsume's side of the story too.

Mikan wanted to tell Aoi, Anna and Nonoko the happenings as soon as she saw them downstairs, but Luca and Mochu were also in the kitchen. The presence of two of Natsume's friends halted her resolve.

( _I'll tell them tonight,_ she thought, as she sat down for breakfast)

By listening to the buzzing conversation, she understood that Natsume and Koko had gone out twenty minutes ago.

"It's really cool today," Aoi said to the three, "and so Anna, Nonoko and I were thinking we could go for a little walk."

"Yeah sounds good." Sumire said, as she stretched her arms up, nodding.

( _Ah, I can tell them then,_ Mikan thought, as she sipped her tea)

"Mind if we join, ladies?" Mochu asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"We don't mind," Aoi smiled. "besides, you two have gone on lots of walks now. You probably know the safest paths – we don't want to bump into any monkeys, boars or bears after all."

( _… Maybe I'll just stick to telling them tonight_ , Mikan decided, as she buttered her toast)

* * *

The walk was refreshing, beautiful but exhausting. Walking in greenery felt liberating, absolutely, but being so used to the city, most of the girls announced they were going to take a nap as soon as they arrived back to the Hyuuga house, just after 3:00pm. Natsume and Koko were not back yet, and so Aoi had to unlock the door, and once she did, everyone sighed in relief. Their legs ached in places they didn't even know muscles resided, and so, quite tiredly, Aoi, Sumire, Hotaru and Nonoko bid Mikan, Anna, Mochu and Luca a bye-bye, trudging up the stairs.

Soon, Luca and Mochu said they were going to rest in their room too, and so it was just Anna and Mikan. The two were tired, yes, but felt rejuvenated by the walk, and so did not want to get back into their futons. The two friends decided to sit outside in the back-yard porch, and stretched their legs out in front of them.

"Mmm." Anna contently sighed. "That was great."

"Yeah, it was." Mikan agreed. Faintly, in the distant, they heard the front door open and close.

Ignoring the noise, Anna continued, "I feel so centred here, you know? Like I've been recalibrated. All the burdens of this year have just melted away… here, all the worries of this year just feel so far away … insignificant, you know?"

"Worries?" Mikan asked, sitting up slightly. "What do you mean?"

The pretty Anna glanced at Mikan with a smile before saying, "Worries at university, you know… reading, essays, deadlines – all whilst having to keep up with your social life in fear that you might be left behind, alone."

Mikan was startled. Slowly, she answered, "I… I didn't know you felt like that. About university."

Anna laughed. "Of course I did! I still feel like that. I know at university we're supposed to be learning and all, but I feel like I've become dumber and more confused this past year. University is such a strange place. At least, it was for me."

"For me too." Mikan admitted, finally, and just like that, she felt a huge weight on her shoulders lift, and like Anna had said, suddenly her worries felt so _little_.

Anna continued, not knowing how much her words had comforted her friend, " _So_ strange. Especially after the Christmas holidays. I mean, at the beginning, it's all just exciting and new, but after Christmas, it was just so exhausting, you know? Suddenly the friends you've made just seem silly, especially in comparison with your old friends. My university friends have nothing on you – they don't even _compare_ to the Squad," she winked at Mikan, a cheeky expression present now.

"How did you… how did you deal with the strangeness?" Mikan asked.

Anna then looked at Mikan, her expression slightly different now. Anna had just noticed how quiet Mikan's voice had become, and now looked slightly concerned for her friend. She did not voice her concern though – she just answered Mikan's question, with a steady and calming voice, "I just reminded myself that it was okay to be feeling like this and that I have some great friends back at home. Life has it's mountains and valleys," a common saying, "sometimes it's up and sometimes it's down and just because you feel down one day, or for a few days, doesn't mean your whole life will be in a valley. And you can always find enjoyment – be they very small – in the valley too. But what's important is to remember that there's nothing wrong in being in the valley… it's just part of life."

Anna then put her hand on top of Mikan's, and Mikan held her friend's hand tightly. "I… Anna—"

"I'm always here for you, Mikan." Anna pulled Mikan into a hug now. "I hope you know that."

Mikan hugged her back. "And I'm here for you too. Always." She shut her eyes, feeling a wave of happiness and relief thanks to her friend's understanding and kind words.

She had noticed that night, the night of the Symposium that Anna seemed to hold feelings of disenchantment in heart now, feelings that weren't there a year ago, perhaps because of her 'hot fling' or perhaps due to something else… she hoped that Anna would tell her the full story one day, so Mikan could help mend her wounds.

"Thank you, Anna." Mikan smiled at her friend. "I really needed that."

Anna smiled serenely. "Me too."

The silent peacefulness of understanding continued, but only for a bit, as Anna suddenly seemed to have noticed something - something that Mikan did not.

"What?" Mikan questioned, her eyebrows furrowed. "What's up?"

"So, um, Mikan," Anna slowly started, glancing from her face to just behind her ear, "enlighten me: why does Natsume keep looking this way?"

"Wha—" Mikan tried to turn her head around at that point, but before could inspect what was happening behind her, Anna softly grabbed her cheeks with her thumb and forefinger, effectively squeezing them and effectively stopping Mikan from moving her head around.

"No, don't look," she softly said, and continued to silently scrutinize what Mikan couldn't see behind her head. Then, Anna looked back at Mikan, with a slightly mischievous but deeply curious smile playing on her lips. "Mikan… what haven't you told me?"

It was time to tell another. "He's been flirting with me. He likes me." Mikan succinctly admitted, as best as she could, as Anna was still squeezing her cheeks together and so her confession came out rather squeaky.

Anna did not take the news as excitedly as Hotaru or Sumire had done – there was no squealing or shouting, instead, she coolly nodded, but Mikan could see that mirth rested on her lips, and by her eyes, she knew that Anna was in fact _deeply_ excited by this little piece of information… repressed excitement looked very pretty on Anna. "Well," she grinned, "he's definitely trying now… he keeps looking this way, hoping you'd look at him."

Natsume was out of earshot but clear in sight to Anna – she could see him glance constantly at the back of Mikan's head.

Anna was clearly amused. But then, in a somewhat thoughtful tone, she asked, "You think you wanna go there?" By 'go there', Mikan knew Anna was questioning whether she was interested in Natsume herself.

Mikan nodded.

Anna did not further question Mikan, instead just smirked, then squeezed Mikan's cheeks (as if for good luck) before: "Hey Natsume!" Anna loudly called, letting go of Mikan's cheek once and for all, "Help! Mikan's hurt her ankle! Can you help—"

Shocked, Mikan gaped. "Anna—"

Anna then loudly added, "Quickly!"

Mikan was flabbergasted, and her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water when she heard footsteps behind her now. Then, as if out of thin air, Natsume was beside her, crouching down. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine—"

Anna interrupted once again, "It's her left ankle." she explained, and Mikan could only just _gape_ at the cheek of Anna!

"I'm _fine_ ," Mikan tried to explain to Natsume, "I—"

"This looks really bad, Mikan." Came Natsume's verdict. Mikan's jaw fell again. Anna smirked, satisfied. Natsume then touched her left ankle softly, and just like that, Mikan's mouth snapped shut and she felt goosebumps emerge and prickle their way across her legs. "A doctor probably needs to look at this."

"A-A doctor?!"

Ignoring Mikan's incredulous cry, Natsume looked up at the now standing Anna and said, "Tell the others I'm going to take her to the hospital."

"T-The hospital?!"

"Okay," came Anna's sing-song reply, drowning out Mikan's exclamation, "by the way, she likes Italian food." And then, with a gleefully sassy wink at her friend, Anna turned around, and slipped back into the house, leaving Mikan and Natsume alone.

Mikan was silenced by absolute shock.

"Come on," Natsume's deep voice brought her back, "let's get you in the car."

Mikan stuttered as Natsume helped her up, "What – car – _huh_ –" She was confused – Anna was just joking after all! Being cheeky! Was Natsume seriously taking her to the _hospital_ now, for a doctor to examine her perfectly functioning ankle? Surely he could see that she was _walking_ perfectly, with no indication of pain, in the direction of his car?

Without another word, Natsume ushered Mikan into the passenger seat of his car. Soon enough, he was sitting beside her in the driver's seat, all doors now closed. Here they now were, in a slightly stuffy car, together.

Silence filled the car for a moment, but then Natsume said, "Let's see your ankle." Daringly but carefully, Natsume reached for Mikan's legs, and pulled them over the gearstick, placing her feet in his lap.

"Look, Natsume – it's really kind of you to care so much but Anna was just kidding, my ankle's fine—"

"I know." Natsume quietly admitted. He touched both her ankles very softly, and at both this and his confession, Mikan felt her breathing halt. And now, he looked up from her ankles, and looked at her deeply in her eyes. "I know, Mikan."

Everything hung in the air now… like the night sky, it was all very still as they stared at each other, but then, the stars all fell out from the sky – the stars all came crashing down, and now the stillness was gone: at exactly the same time, Mikan held onto Natsume's face, and Natsume pulled Mikan by shoulders closer to himself – and they were kissing.

It was not sweet, first kiss – it was deeply passionate, and both breathed heavily as they fiercely kissed each other, open-mouthed; Natsume's hands were now in Mikan's hair, clenching and unclenching his fingers through her hair whilst Mikan just tightly wound her arms around his neck. All the electrifying carnal tension that had been building and crackling between them finally cracked with a sharp bang. And it was just so beautiful! The stars were all falling, so strikingly, so perfectly, lighting everything up.

This was as real as it could get for Natsume – the sound of her rasping breath, the feel of her hair and tongue—

Mikan broke apart – she needed to breathe – and her eyes flew open as she unwound her arms around him and pulled away to look at Natsume. Slowly, he loosened his grip on her and breathlessly, looking at him, she uttered, "Oh… what…" She was dazzled, and frazzled… muddled but feeling incredibly hot as she felt her lips tingle.

Not saying anything, instead, just exhaling deeply himself, Natsume started his car. He didn't put his seatbelt on, and when Mikan made to move away, he held onto her ankles. She let him; her legs acted as his seatbelt, as they now rested on top of his lap. The car then groaned into motion, and deeply rumbled away from the house.

* * *

Anna burst into the room, came flashing in like a comet, her voice booming as a comet would—"Natsume has taken Mikan on a date!"

Her announcement rung and hung in the room.

"WHAT!" Nonoko yelled, absolutely shocked. Her mouth dropped, as did the cards in her hands. "Mikan and _Natsume?!_ The fuck?!" That's when she noticed that none of her other friends seemed as flabbergasted at this news as she was.

The girls had been playing cards before Anna's great proclamation, and it was Aoi's turn—she put a card down before she groaned, "Ugh… I knew this would happen sooner or later."

A squeak emerged from Nonoko's open mouth. " _What—"_

"You did?" Hotaru asked, as she put her card down. Her hunch was correct, but she wanted to know more. "Since when?"

"Since a long time… ugh." She sighed and added, "He flirts with her _ceaselessly_. I've told, time and time again to _stop_ but Natsume always made up some stupid excuse. Bah!"

Nonoko just squeaked again, and glanced helplessly at Anna, who was now sitting down besides Nonoko.

"Oh? He's been flirting with Mikan for a long time?" Sumire was surprised. "I've never noticed! Why didn't you tell us? I understand why you didn't tell Mikan but why not us?"

"Well, I wasn't a _hundred_ percent sure. And at one point, for the longest time, I thought he was gay, remember? I thought Luca was his boyfriend. I wasn't sure and I didn't want to say. 'Cos, be honest, if I told you all that I thought my stupid, big, mean—"

"Handsome!" Sumire chimed in.

"—older brother was flirting with Mikan, you would have all stared at him whenever he said 'hello' to her, and I didn't want that. Not for him or for Mikan."

"So you don't mind?" Hotaru wanted Aoi to clarify this. "You won't mind if they dated?"

Aoi shrugged. She sighed again – but her sighs were not sighs of annoyance, rather accepting sighs: she seemed to just be accepting the inevitable. "Not really. I mean, I know he likes her and so if she likes him back—"

"She does!" Anna and Sumire chorused together.

"WHAT!" Nonoko shrieked. "WHAT—"

"—then I guess there's nothing else to it." Aoi concluded. "I won't hate them or feel betrayed by either of them if they dated… just a bit grossed out… no, _hugely_ grossed out to think that Natsume and Mikan would kiss and do other things if they dated… ewwwwww! Ew, I wish I didn't say that now. Gross!"

Hotaru then seriously said, "Is your brother good boyfriend material?"

"Ew! How am _I_ supposed to know?"

"Didn't you say his relationships never last very long? And that he's a bit of a womanizer?" No womanizer, friend's brother or not, was going anywhere near _her_ best friend.

Aoi hummed, contemplating this. "He definitely _was_ a slut at some point. But that was a few years ago. He's not like that anymore. He'll respect Mikan, I'm sure. He hasn't had a relationship in a few years now. But I can't promise that he's not a pervert. From the dirty magazines, hentai mangas and from the small collection of porn that I tragically discovered under his bed… I conclude, with difficulty and with great disgust that he enjoys sex and likes kinky shit."

Like an protective mother, Hotaru bristled at this piece of information, "Okay, well, his dick is not going anywhere _near_ Mikan! Not when I'm around!"

"Ewwww!" Aoi cried, sticking her tongue out in disgust. " _That's gross!_ And that's definitely _never_ ever _ever_ happening when I'm around—shit, I have to tell them that they are _not_ allowed to…you-know-what—"

"Have sex?" Sumire brazenly offered, and laughed at Aoi's horrified face.

"You didn't need to say it, Sumire, but _yes—_ none of that in this or our house back in Tokyo! _Hell_ no!"

"But you won't be in Tokyo most of the year," Anna pointed out, cheekily, "you'll be far away, in a different city, at university… they'll have your house all to themselves—"

"Anna!" Both Aoi and Hotaru reprimanded her audacity.

But then all the girls burst into raucous laughter – Sumire rolled onto her back, and clutched her sides laughing, Anna fell on top of the wheezing Nonoko, laughing. After they had calmed down a bit, Hotaru said, "We need to relax. They've only gone on their first date."

" _You_ and _Aoi_ need to chill!" Sumire and Anna sniggered, enjoying teasing the 'sister' and the 'protective best friend'.

In a bright voice, Aoi then said, "Well on the bright side, I might get more out of my brother if Mikan's dating him. If he's ever mean to me, I'll blackmail him! I'll threaten to tell Mikan all his dirty little secrets."

"You're evil!"

Aoi smirked. But then, she sighed once more (it was a concluding sigh – like one exhales before announcing that they were off to bed) and said, "I guess Natsume deserves a nice girl. And Mikan deserves a nice boy too. And despite all the shit I say about Natsume, he is a good guy."

There a content pause now – the discussion seemed to have come to a close. But then, Nonoko remembered, gasped, and cried, "Wait, wait, wait! _I_ still seem to be the only one that doesn't know what the fuck is going on! What do you mean Natsume took Mikan on a date?! What do you mean Mikan likes Natsume?! Since _when!_ "

The laughing all burst again, especially at the look of absolute bewilderment on Nonoko's face. Soon enough though, Nonoko's face melted into an amused one too, especially when all her friends came to hug her affectionately.


	12. Just Truth

**A/N:** This chapter filled with dirty talk. There's no sex, but I don't think it's exactly appropriate for people under the age of… fourteen, maybe? Fifteen, even? You have been warned!

 **Just Truth**

* * *

Mikan wanted to say something, but she couldn't. She didn't know what to say, and she was afraid that if she spoke, the palpably thick, electric air between them would pop then disappear like bubble. He was driving them through the woods, down or up the mountain, she did not quite know. She couldn't keep her eyes off him, and the way he glanced at her, his dark, wine-coloured eyes straying off the road from time to time to look at her, made her chest feel incredibly tight.

She wanted to say something, but she didn't need to say anything. He knew exactly what she was thinking, and she knew that he knew.

Natsume slowed down, and the car purred into a halt. Mikan looked out, and saw that he had parked the car in the hard shoulder of the road. As it was the mountain, it was just a plot of empty grass, where earlier parked cars had worn out the green.

Natsume turned the engine off. All they could hear now was the cries of the cicadas outside.

Natsume couldn't sit still anymore – quite suddenly, he firmly took hold of Mikan's waist, and slid her quite easily (as her legs were already on his lap) across, on top of him. He held her in place with one hand, while the other then adjusted his seat – he pushed it back, and also lowered it, and, as if they were both sixteen, the two started to make-out in the his car.

To Natsume, this was pure bliss – the girl he cared for so much was finally where he had always wished her to be, kissing him back with enthusiasm. Their first kiss was fervent, but now, the two slowed down, and kissed each other softly; Natsume fell back on his lowered seat, and her lips still on his, Mikan followed him down and caressed his face.

It hadn't even been five minutes, when Mikan pulled herself up slightly, and turned the ignition on in the car.

"What are you—"

"It's so hot," Mikan explained and she turned the air-conditioning on, "there. That should be better." She then smiled down at him and crawled back on top of him, only to kiss him on the corner of his mouth.

He put his big hand on the side of her face, and then pulled her face closer, only to kiss her neck very gently.

"Tell me," Mikan's voice was quiet, "did you just kidnap me to make out with me? A bit much, no?"

Natsume smiled against her neck, before he looked at her face to say, "Desperate measures." He touched her hair, before he pulled himself (and so Mikan who was on top of him) up, to look outside the window. "I don't actually know where we are. My mind just went blank. I just stopped here to kiss you."

Mikan chortled at his brusque honesty. Then, she asked, "So, _doc_ … is my ankle alright then?"

Natsume raised his eyebrow, and his expression changed for the better. Clearly, he liked where this conversation was going… He slid Mikan back into the passenger seat, but kept her left ankle on his lap. "Hmm…" he murmured as he examined the ankle, and Mikan's breathing became a staccato when his fingers traced the anklebone, "to fix this ankle, I recommend going to dinner. With a certain twenty five year old."

"Oh?" Mikan continued to play. "Who could that possibly be? Luca perhaps?"

"No… dark-hair."

"Oh! You, perhaps?"

Natsume good-humoredly shrugged, before slowly replying, "That's a good idea."

"Well," she smiled, "if the _doctor_ insists, I suppose I have to go for dinner with a certain senior citizen." She laughed, and he just stroked her leg.

"All joking aside now," his voice was steady, calm and deep again, "would you…?"

He didn't say it but the question lingered in the air, and Mikan easily replied, "Yes. I would love to go to dinner with you. And Anna," that conniving minx, "is right. I do love Italian food."

"I assumed you did. You've always liked my spaghetti Bolognese."

And as Natsume tucked Mikan in the passenger seat, and pulled her seatbelt on so that she was safe, Mikan understood from his assumption that perhaps he had been watching her more carefully than she previously thought. And little did she know that Natsume had, three nights ago, searched all night on the internet for a good Italian restaurant in Karuizawa, with hope that he might one day be able to take Mikan there. And God, was he blissfully elated that 'one day' came sooner than he ever hoped or expected.

Here she was with him and here he was with her.

* * *

When walking to the restaurant from his car, and when walking to their seat in the restaurant, Natsume held Mikan's hand. She felt as if she were floating – in a trance – and so, to Mikan, it was as if she had suddenly found herself in an Italian restaurant with Natsume sitting in front of her.

The waitress brought them tap water and handed them each a menu. Before Natsume could even glance at the menu, Mikan, not looking at the menu, but at him, suddenly blurted out, "Let's play a game."

"A game? Wait, now?"

"Yeah." She pressed her lips together, and smiled a strange smile. She put her elbows on the table, and her hands cupped her face. "Order my food. I'll order yours."

Natsume looked at her carefully. "Is this… a test?"

Mikan stared, surprised at his earnest tone, but then threw her head back and laughed. "No, what! I'm not _testing_ you! I just want to know what you think I like. I just want to see if you'll get it right."

"Then this _is_ a test—"

"Think of it as a unimportant pop quiz, not a test—hey! Don't look so worried; I have to choose your meal as well! Remember: pop quiz, not a test!" with that, she looked down, and started to flick through the menu, and soon, they had both picked a dish, and called the waitress to order each other's food.

"I'll have… I mean, he'll have the," she now looked at him, hoping to gauge his reaction to see if she was on the right path before she rather questioningly said, "the white wine porcini risotto…?"

Natsume raised both his eyebrows at her (whether that was a good or bad thing, she could not quite tell) before he said, "And she'll have the," he paused, glancing at her, "pizza Napolitano." He spoke with more conviction than she did.

The waitress smiled at them, thinking them to be a sweet couple, and chirpily said, "Alright—one porcini risotto and one pizza Napolitano! Any starters? Maybe a salad?"

"No." said Mikan, but at exactly the same time, Natsume had said, "Yes." They glanced at each other.

"Yes," Mikan corrected herself, but Natsume rectified himself at the same time, "No." Now, they furrowed their eyebrows at each other.

The waitress laughed. "I'll just bring you a free bread basket—how's that?" She left without hearing their answer this time; an amused smile playing on her face.

"You should have got salad if you wanted salad." Mikan said to Natsume.

"I thought you might have wanted salad."

"I hate salad—"

"Ah. I didn't know that."

Mikan opened her mouth to press her point (that Natsume should order the goddamn salad), but Natsume, who had been sitting rather restlessly, now sat on the edge of his seat to be as close to Mikan as he could be, and quite eagerly asked, "So did I pass the test? The pop quiz? What's my mark out of a hundred?"

My, my! The importance of being earnest! Natsume's innocently earnest expression was enough to make Mikan forget about the salad, and quickly, she just smiled at him. Since when was Natsume… _adorable?!_ She definitely 'didn't know that', to take his words. Was he always so diligent?

"Pizza Napolitano… hmm, that answer earns you a solid 85%."

"85%?... Not 90, maybe?"

"Ordering the pepperoncino pasta would have got you 90…" ("Damn," Natsume muttered), "and the spaghetti Bolognese 99%." She leaned closer, "I'm actually surprised you didn't order the Bolognese. I thought you would have."

Natsume shrugged. "I already know you like Bolognese – that would have been cheating. Besides, it's _my_ Bolognese you like."

My! Aoi had always said her brother was just a child at heart, and Mikan had always just thought Aoi was exaggerating, but my, my! After that little statement she was going to have to agree with Aoi. And my, his smug face! My, my, my, Natsume _was_ just like a child!

"I don't know whether you're being sweet or just plain arrogant right now." She smiled at him though, and the smile said that she found him sweet rather than arrogant (for now…). "And me? Porcini risotto? Did I pass?"

Natsume rubbed his chin, slowly, humming, teasing her.

So, she urged him to answer by kicking him under the table. "Ow! Jesus—yes, yes, you passed."

"Really?!" She was surprised – she had no idea what Natsume liked, and despite being the one to initiate the game, she found it incredibly hard to choose a dish for him and as a result, she had chosen the risotto just because she simply liked the word 'porcini'. Porcini – the roll of the 'R' and the sweet vowel ending! That was it. "What percent?"

Natsume nudged her foot. "A solid 90." He kindly told her.

"Ah!" She was victorious – she let him rest his foot on her left foot, and put her right foot on his. "Well, we both did quite well – I'm surprised!"

"Well, we've known each other for ten years now—"

"Mm, _technically_ eight. I mean, I could hardly look you in the eyes until I was twelve – you scared me too much!"

"I guess I'm sorry for being such a grump."

Mikan took a sip of her water. Now that she knew why Natsume was so angry in the past, she felt that he should not apologise for that. "It's not your fault. In fact, you had the opposite effect on some of the others: they fancied the pants off you!"

He now smirked. "A charm inherited from my mother. She was both formidable and popular."

"I always thought you looked like her. From the photos and the paintings."

He nonchalantly admitted, "I was a mummy's boy through and through."

Mikan laughed, "No, Natsume – you _are_ a mummy's boy through and through. Just like how Aoi's a daddy's girl through and through."

The breadbasket came then – it was placed on the table between them. Once the waitress left with the same amused smile, Mikan pulled her elbows closer to Natsume. Now that Aoi was mentioned, on the table, Mikan felt she had to address it: "Aoi is also my best friend."

Natsume knew this was coming. "I know." In fact, he had been up all night thinking what to say to Mikan about this.

"So if anything that happens between us, I'll tell her too."

"I know."

"I'll tell her everything: from fights, to more private stuff."

"I know."

"And… that doesn't bother you? Have you considered that? Would you still want to potentially date me—"

"Potentially date you?" Natsume furrowed his eyebrow, confused. "I thought I _am_ dating you."

Mikan's eyes widened. "You _are?_ Wait, _we_ are? We're dating?... I'm your girlfriend?!"

"Wait," now Natsume was confused, "aren't you?"

"W-Well you never asked me!"

"I never asked to kiss you either but it just happened. _More_ than once." he reminded her, somewhat smugly, "But to answer your earlier question, it doesn't bother me. Look, I'll always know and respect that you were Aoi's friend first. I promise that. But I like you for you, not because you're Aoi's best friend; my feelings and your friendship with her are completely irrelevant. I just like you."

Yes, she answered her question quite eloquently, but he still hadn't addressed the other issue he had slipped – "Wait, so just to check… we _are_ dating?"

"Oh right – Mikan," his tone was suddenly serious, "will you be my girlfriend?"

Mikan gaped at him and stuttered back, "I guess—"

"Yeah, we are dating." Natsume now confirmed, and bit into his bread.

Ah, just like Hotaru said. There were no trumpets, no singing heavenly choir, nothing grand, just them. God didn't descend from the High Heavens with a stamp of approval. They were just dating. They were just two people who liked each other. It was as simple as that.

Mikan was not done yet, though. "Wait, wait, wait – since _when_ did _you_ think we were dating? More like, since when did you start to like me?" This was all just too new for Mikan! Just as he was five years older, Natsume suddenly seemed to be five steps ahead of Mikan too.

"I thought I was yours and you were mine since last night. And I've liked you since," he paused, as if remembering a whole chapter's worth of flashbacks (Chapter 10, to be exact), "… since I started to see you as Mikan, and not as Aoi's best friend."

Aha! He was being evasive! Mikan grinned impishly and pressed on, "Which was _when_?"

Natsume smile was then both sheepish and vague. "Have my bread," was his answer, as he pushed the breadbasket closer to her, "you can have it."

Gosh, he was adorable! Mikan decided not to press him any further. This was fine, she decided. She was in no rush to find out. After all, they were dating now and so would have plenty of time to grill him, be it sooner or later. Besides, there were other things she wanted to know now: she wanted to know more about him as a person, about things that were completely unrelated to her.

"Let's play another game," was Mikan's verdict, "let's play Truth."

"Truth?... Not Truth or Dare?"

"No, just Truth. It's like Truth or Dare but without the Dare, funnily enough. You're allowed to skip only one question."

"How many questions?"

"Until the food comes."

Understanding, and not wanting to waste another second Natsume asked, "Who was your first kiss?"

Mikan snorted into her water. Trying to be graceful now, she cleared her throat and said, "It was with this boy who I thought I liked, and who liked me. His name was Tobita Yuu and I was eighteen—hey," she stopped her anecdote at the look of pure surprise on his face, "don't look at me like that!"

"I… But isn't _eighteen_ a bit late? Isn't that when people lose their virginity instead of their first kiss?"

"I was a late bloomer all around," Mikan huffed, "and _you_ might have lost your virginity when you were fifteen but I—"

"How did you know I was fifteen when I—"

Mikan then laughed. "Oh that – Aoi found a condom in your bag when she was trying to steal money from you when she was ten. None of us knew what it was, so Sumire decided to ask her older sister, Wakako, and when we showed it to her, she _shrieked_ … and three years later or so, it dawned on us what Aoi had actually found in your bag." She chortled at the memory and the horrified expression on his face. "We calmed Aoi down by saying, 'Well, at least he's having safe sex!' – she wasn't too pleased either way."

Natsume groaned, and covered one side of his face with his hand. "The more I speak to you, the more I wonder why you're even giving me a chance. In every story you bring up of me, I sound like an asshole."

Mikan laughed again, but then kindly said, "Natsume, I told you before - I was only looking for the 'right' guy for me. I was never looking for a saint. And if the right guy for me," she looked at him, "was a bit of an asshole in his teens, that's alright with me."

"You really think I'm the right guy for you?" Natsume's voice was really hopeful.

Mikan just wryly smiled, and exclaimed, "You've asked your question – it's _my turn_ now!" She evaded his question, but just by her soft expression, Natsume knew her answer. "Okay… um, what's your favourite ice cream flavour?"

Without skipping a beat: "Strawberry," was Natsume's answer before he quickly pounced, "my turn: who's your favourite writer?"

"Dead or alive? Or both? You have to clarify that question for me to answer."

"Both."

Mikan's face hardened as she pondered this question. Who was her ultimate favourite writer? Woolf? Pynchon? A Bronte? Salinger? Murakami? Bulgakov? The Golden Oldie – Fitzgerald? Ah, Hemingway? But wait, Joyce? Oh no, no, no Austen! Austen! But what about Orwell and Kafka?

"I… I… ah!" She gripped her hair in absolute agony. "My favourite author is… My favourite author is… Aghhh! I pass!"

Natsume incredulous looked at her before he double-checked in absolute disbelief, "Wait, what? Did you just pass _that_ question? Don't you only get _one_ pass?"

"I don't know who my favourite author is – I mean, I have favourites, but asking me to pick just one is too cruel, even for you!"

Natsume gaped; he couldn't believe this girl!

"My turn now," Mikan turned the attention back on him, "what's your favourite position?" And by the way her voice was slightly quieter, and by the way she had leaned in closer to him, Natsume knew by 'position', she did not mean football position, but rather was alluding to a rather more intimate type of position…

He liked it _a lot_ how it was Mikan who had brought sex onto the table; he had wanted to, of course, but didn't want to add fuel to his 'asshole'-ness. But no, he liked how she brought it up – it made her all the more attractive to him.

Very coolly, he started, "My favourite position is—" but then, he stopped; Mikan's expression, dear _God_! Her wide-eye gaze, round with innocent but excited anticipation—it was too much for him to handle! Mikan, meanwhile, saw with great interest how suddenly his neck flushed, and oh, how he faltered! "… shit, you're going to hate me—"

"What!" He had hooked, lined, caught her, but refused to reel her in. "What, what, what! No – you can't just leave me there! Don't pass this—"

In a low, hushed and quick voice, Natsume blurted out, "Doggy. I know it's the least romantic position in the book but... that's me."

Maybe Aoi was right after all these years. Maybe Natsume _was_ a pervert. But she didn't mind… too much. After all, she had a certain streak in her too, shall we say. "Well," Mikan slowly made to answer, her voice just as low and hushed, "I was born in the year of the Dog… I can always be _trained_ , shall we say, to _dig_ new things…"

She didn't know where she had learned to flirt. In fact, thirty minutes ago, she would have said she was awful at flirting, but now, seeing the look on Natsume's face, she knew she had done or said at least something right. She felt she deserved a pat on the back – maybe a bone, to go with the whole doggy dirty talk – and couldn't wait to tell her friends about her quick but dirty intelligence (… would Aoi mind? Well, she'll just have to get used to it, she evilly decided).

Natsume exhaled. "Jesus, Mikan… don't speak like that at the dinner table." But he reached out his hand, showing both his appraisal at her canine wit and appreciation towards her in general by tugging and playing with her fingers.

The game of Truth became quick after that (Natsume asked the next question):

"Favourite tea?"

And then came Mikan's answer and question, "Jasmine. – What would you do if you were filthy rich?"

And so on… "Buy a house in Hawaii. – Foreplay? Yes or no?"

"Absolutely yes, but fingers, no tongue. – If you could meet anyone in the world, dead or alive, at any time, who would you meet?"

"My mum. I'd tell her a lot of things. I'd even tell her about you. – Favourite animal?"

"Orangutans. If you embodied just one Deadly Sin, what would you be?"

"Good question… I get jealous quite easily. I'm quite possessive. So I guess the closest Sin would be Envy. Maybe Greed. – I'll ask the same question back at you: what Deadly Sin would you be?"

"Hmm… probably Sloth. I can be so apathetic and lazy sometimes. – If you were going to die tomorrow night, what would you do tomorrow in the day?"

"I'd have sex with you for the first few hours, then I'd go back to Tokyo and find all the kids I used to bully as a child, apologise, give them my money, then come find you again and have sex with you all over again. – Does our age gap bother you?"

"No, although I am worried that you're just going to find me to be a childish bore soon. You work after all, you make your own money, and I'm still studying—"

"Studying is important. You're not a childish bore in any way. On the other hand, I'm worried that you're just going to find me boring full stop. I work five, sometimes six days a week, and I have to get up early most days, and I come back around six pm. That leaves so little time to be with you, and I'm worried you'll just feel like you're being neglected half the time—"

"No, no. Don't say that. Accommodating you in my lifestyle won't be a hassle for me, but maybe a hassle for you—"

"It won't be."

"Next question," Mikan persevered, "What do you usually do on a Sunday?"

"Stay in bed, make coffee, watch television, maybe a walk if the weather's good. – Which side of the bed do you sleep on?"

"Um, left? Yeah, left. – Do you like cuddling after sex?"

"Yes. And I'm not just saying that to seem like less of an asshole. – Would you ever consider getting a dog together?"

"Ummm… I mean, I love dogs. Maybe. Not anytime soon. – Favourite Harry Potter book?"

" _Order of the Phoenix._ \- Favourite Tarantino movie?"

"I'm going to say something really controversial: I don't actually like his films very much. So no favourite. – Do you ever plan to quit smoking?"

"Yes. I try every New Year but it hasn't been successful so far. I think I'll quit for good when I'm thirty. Maybe when I'm a father. Maybe we can quit together. – Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"… I'll be thirty. And oh! You'll be thirty- _five_ ," she started to laugh at the thought, but then it dawned on her that ten years would one day actually come,"… we'll be so old! … I guess I'll be working. I'll live in a small apartment in Tokyo. Maybe own a goldfish. I'll get the newspaper every morning and do the crossword while listening to Simon and Garfunkel. Every week, one evening, I'll go to Anna's and have dinner. The Squad will live on! And you'll still be Aoi's brother, even if we're together or not. – Where do _you_ see yourself in ten years?"

"I'll still be working. I'll also live in a small apartment in Tokyo. I'll also own a goldfish. I'll finish off the crossword you left on the table and turn off the CD player so our bills won't add up. When you go to Anna's, I'll go over to Luca's and play with his kid. I'll still be Aoi's brother and your lover." He ended his prophecy with a tying rhyme and a smile. "- Would you say no to a beard?"

Mikan snorted. "Please don't grow a beard. At least not in your 20s. I'll accept stubble for now. – Do you there is a formula to love?" It was strange to think a few days beforehand Mikan had been so cruel about love at the Symposium. But like she had said then, perhaps the beauty about love and life was that they were so unexpected at times; so unpredictable.

Natsume seemed to share this view. "No. I think such feelings transcend anything like a formula – it'll be belittling and disappointing if love could be compressed in a formula."

"One pizza Napolitano and one porcini risotto!" the waitress was back now, her hands full with steaming Italian food. She placed the correct plate in front of Mikan and Natsume and told them to enjoy the meal.

They didn't need telling twice, as they were already enjoying the meal, regardless of the food.

* * *

They bought a bottle of wine on the way back to their car. Well, technically, Natsume had bought Mikan and bottle of wine – he wanted to drive them both back in one piece; he might have a sip once home, he told her. It was a small bottle.

When they arrived to the car, Natsume unlocked it, but before Mikan could move in the direction of the passenger seat, he tugged her with him, and he opened the backseat door with his free hand. He ushered her in like she was a delicious secret and smiling Mikan complied. Maybe she had overdone the whole 'dirty talking' business – well, she didn't know she was a _pro!_ Maybe doing a Literature degree wasn't worthless as the papers said; after all, she was excellent with tying words together to make a quick remark! She'd definitely scored top marks there – oomfph! Absolutely! Look, look look – he'd only just closed the door behind them and was on top of her already!

Mikan laughed, pushing him away slightly. She needed to get more comfortable if she wanted to enjoy this. He took this time well – while she moved over so they had more space, Natsume opened the small bottle of wine for Mikan.

"'Summer Wine," Natsume read the label, "an exquisitely fruity flavour – made with summer fruits.'" He then passed her the small bottle. "Here. How does it taste?"

She took the bottle. She glanced at him. Then, she put her lips to the bottle and took gulp. She swallowed, and saw that he was looking at her deeply. "It… It tastes like strawberries, cherries and an angel's kiss in spring."

 _Strawberries, cherries and an angel's kiss in spring  
My __summer wine_ _is really made from all these things  
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time  
And I will give to you, Summer Wine.  
Oh, Summer Wine._

Natsume gently smiled at her, as he caressed her hair by her ear. "You really like the 60s too much."

She smirked, then quoted him. "The 60s had some good shit."

And so, he quoted her back. "That's an oxymoron."

"You're a fast learner." Mikan whispered before she kissed him. It was odd, really – so, so odd that she was succumbing to certain feelings when she was, as said earlier, being so cruel about love only a few days ago. But nothing could have predicted this, no formula, no matter how long or complicated could have predicted that the older boy who had seen her flashing her polka-dotted training bra when she was thirteen would one day fall in love with her, and cause her heart to similarly beat in his presence.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, now you know where I got the title from! ' **Summer Wine'** by Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood – disclaimed!

 **And so, my dear reviewers, the time has come... for summer has nearly ended!** This is my Summer Writing Project, so this fic will finish alongside the finish of Summer. **I think I'll write one, maybe two (we'll see) more chapters.**

For those who are waiting for the big Drama... **there will be no drama.** I always wanted this to be a simple love story - just like Hotaru said (or just as I wrote), I think love is really simple, so I wanted to show that with this fic.

 **No review replies tonight my dears, but I'll write a long thank you note at the end!** But thank you all SO MUCH for being so kind with your reviews! They really really made me smile.


	13. Polka Dots

**A/N:** Here we go! Disclaimed.

 **Polka Dots**

* * *

They came back, from the balmy shadowy outsides, back to the lit up house. The house seemed serene, quiet. And Mikans's heart too was serene, quiet as she walked beside Natsume. It wasn't as if they didn't have anything to say – nothing had to be said, and that was completely perfect.

They arrived at the door, and Mikan smiled as she watched him fumble with the house keys. He opened the door. They somewhat expected to be hounded at this point, but they were only welcomed back with a comfortable silence.

She had already expressed her thanks. And so, now she said, "I'm going to go see if they," her friends, "are still awake. Goodnight, Natsume."

He just kissed her a goodnight, and waving cutely, Mikan left his side to go up the stairs.

She was ready to tell her friends. She was excited. Some part of her expected to hear the sounds of overexcited questions to surround her as soon as she entered the room. Instead, she was met with a rather studious silence, and her mouth fell open upon when she saw that the girls had piled four futons on top of one another, in the centre of the room. They were all sat on one side of the stacked futons, sitting on pillows, and Mikan saw that there was a pillow laid out for her on the opposite end. It looked like a business meeting, or making even a job interview.

"Um, guys—"

"Ah, Miss Sakura." Sumire formally addressed her. "We see you have arrived at precisely 11pm. Please take a seat." She motioned towards the pillow.

Confused but amused, Mikan sat down. She swept her eyes through her friends, and saw Anna had a small smile erupting at the corner of her lips.

"This is an interview," Sumire continued, "to assess your current relations with Ms. Hyuuga's," she motioned to Aoi, who was sitting in the centre, "older brother."

She decided to play along. "Alright."

"Did you just return from a date with the aforementioned brother, Mr. Natsume Hyuuga?"

"Why yes I did indeed."

Hotaru took over, "Did he treat you well."

"Very."

"Did you enjoy it."

"Very much so."

And to catch her off guard, with the same pace and manner, Hotaru asked, "Did you have sex?"

"We -," Mikan stopped herself, "wait, what!"

"Ah! Look how she falters and blushes," Anna cackled, clapping her hands, "I think that's a 'yes', Ms. Imai."

"Wait, no!" Mikan interjected. "We didn't—"

"But your blush tells us that this was clearly no PG-13 date." Nonoko smirked.

Hotaru furthered the investigation. "Third base?"

"Not exactly…" Seeing her friends urging look, she clarified, "… 3.5."

Aoi then squealed, thereby shattering the prior semi-formal interview feel. "No, no, I don't want to hear it!"

Hotaru persevered. "Where? Did you go to a hotel?"

"No…"

Then Sumire shrieked jubilantly. "It must have been the car!"

Aoi grabbed her hair and cried, " _God_ , how _old_ is he?! Does he think he's some teenager living the teenage dream?!"

It was Anna's question now, "Are you in a relationship?"

All their eyes were open her now. Even Aoi watched her, through the peeps and cracks of her fingers that were now shielding her eyes. "I suppose we are."

Mutters followed. Mikan now felt her heart beat as she watched her friends murmur to each other. Then, with an air of reluctance, Hotaru announced, "Congratulations, Ms. Sakura, you have passed. We offer our congratulations on your new relationship with Natsume Hyuuga."

And then, the meeting ending, and Sumire lunged herself across the futons head first to Mikan. Mikan fell to the floor with an 'oomf' and before she knew it, all her friends were surrounding her. Through the giggles and cheers, Aoi cried, "Please, please, please no _bases_ in this house! Or my house in Tokyo, please, Mikan!"

After the questions were all answered, the girls just sat around each other. "I can't believe this," Nonoko shook her head, " _still."_

"If it makes you feel better, nor can I." Mikan offered.

"Well, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense," Aoi sighed, "Natsume's sudden renewed interest in Karuizawa peaked the day I told him about our summer plans. And funnily enough, the next day, out of the blue my dad decided that I wasn't allowed to go unless Natsume came too. He's so manipulative. Scheming ass." She voiced her resolve, "I'm going to interrogate the shit out of him. _Now."_

She stood up.

"Oh my, we _have_ to see this!" Sumire was bursting with excitement.

"He might have gone to bed," Nonoko reasonably pointed out.

"Oh please," Aoi snorted, "he's probably tossing and turning, pacing up and down the room like a stupid little princess, reliving his date with Mikan. I'm more than sure she has that effect on an idiot like him."

* * *

Unlike Mikan's situation, when Natsume walked into his room, his friends immediately greeted him. They were all grinning at him.

"Hey, Humbert Humbert," Mochu whistled, "a few birds told us some good news."

"Stop with the Humbert business," Natsume was smirking nonetheless, "and I don't think 'good news' quite covers it."

Koko threw a pillow at Natsume. "Stop smirking _like_ an old pervert then, Humbie! Gosh! You're with a young woman now. Come on, you've got to be cool."

"Stop terrorizing him," Luca laughed, "he doesn't need to be anyone else but him."

Koko rolled his eyes. "Luca, sometimes you're so nice it hurts."

Luca continued, undeterred, "You _finally_ did it, man! I'm happy for you. I can see how pleased you are too."

" _Finally_ doesn't cover it _at all_ ," Koko said, "more like 'after-years-of-hoping-fucking-finally-he-does-more-than-make-her-stupid-spaghetti'."

"Where did you go?" Mochu asked. "Did you take her somewhere nice?"

Natsume nodded, "Italian."

"You treat her good?"

"I tried my best."

Mochu continued, "You bang 'er?"

Natsume glared at his friend before throwing the pillow Koko had launched his way earlier. "Piss off, Mochu."

Mochu laughed, and slapped his knee. Then, in a jokingly touched voice, he cried, "Man! To think our Natsume has grown up! After years of debauchery, pillaging and glaring, our Natsume has embraced his inner sensitive soul! God bless Japan!"

Before Natsume could retort however, the door swung open. There, stood Aoi.

"Onii-chan." Her lips curled.

"Aoi."

She stepped forward, and narrowed her eyes up at him. Natsume glanced, and saw that Mikan and her friends were loitering by the door now. He wanted to say 'hello' to Mikan, but his attention swerved back to Aoi, who now said, "After years of telling you to _stay away_ and _stop_ , of course, you go and do the complete opposite."

Mochu, Luca and Koko exchanged looks, slightly worried.

"Lucky for you," Aoi continued, "I'm both a nice girl and a nice sister. And this _nice_ girl has a few questions to ask you. You're dating Mikan now?"

My, so many questions tonight! "Yes."

"Do you like her?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to treat her well?"

"Yes."

"You know I'll probably castrate you if you ever do her wrong."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Aoi breathed through her nose – her lips were now glued together as she thought. Then, "Fine." She blew out, "Fine. That's all I needed to know. By the way," she added, "I've told Mikan but I'm going to _warn you_ : no banging in this or our house back in Tokyo or I _will_ tell Mikan _certain_ things."

"… Are you blackmailing me?" Natsume glanced again at Mikan.

Aoi smirked at this. "I learnt from the best." And with that, she stuck her hand out to her side, and Hotaru high-fived it from behind.

Mochu, Luca and Koko exchanged looks again. Now, by their expressions, it was obvious that they were all eagerly excited to see this relationship play out, for it was bound to be thrilling with Mikan sandwiched between the fiery Hyuuga siblings. They couldn't wait.

* * *

Paradise only lasts so long. Stories, fables, even the Bible tells us that much. The days had whispered by and the day when the boys were to leave Karuizawa, and go back to Tokyo, back to their jobs, came. Holidays always end – that's why there are holidays. But happiness… happiness doesn't have to end. At least, that's what Natsume told himself when he zipped his suitcase. He knew this goodbye was temporary, brief even, but he still resented it.

He had to go back to his everyday life of paperwork, coffee and getting up painfully early. Mikan wanted to stay with her friends, but had promised him last night that she would come see him when she was back in Tokyo.

Mochu grunted as swung his bulging carry-bag on his shoulders. "Fuck, that hurts!"

Mochu and Natsume were last in the room – the room that was now bare. Only himself, his suitcase and a paper bag remained once Mochu had left, swearing under his breath.

Natsume took this as opportunity, "Mikan," he called. He knew she was watching the news with her friends in the living room, "come for a second."

It was not a second, but soon enough, Mikan entered his room. "Wow! All packed." She walked to him and let him bring her close into his arms. She sighed contently, when he kissed the top of her head. "I bought you a gift."

The effect was immediate; she looked up at him, curious and excited. "You did? Oooh! My first gift!" she clapped her hands, "The first of many gifts I hope."

"I don't want to spoil you too much." Natsume smiled, but he then picked up the paper bag that rested on his bed. First, he pulled Mikan towards him, towards the bed, and together they sat down on the edge of his bed. He passed her the paper bag.

Like a child on Christmas morning, Mikan rifled through the paper bag.

"I promise that your next gift won't be so…" he seemed to be trying to find the right word, "…suggestive." She paused, and looked at him with her eyebrow raised. "Or maybe it will be. Depends on how horny I'm feeling whilst I wait in Tokyo for you to come back."

She laughed, and then finally unraveled the present: her immediate reaction was to laugh. "No! You didn't!" she kept laughing as she pulled two items out of the bag: a polka-dotted bra and a matching thong. She put up the bra against her, and her laugh only increased. Unlike the polka-dotted training bra, this bra was for a woman – the lace trimmings indicated that it was not created to be innocent and unseen. "How did you know my size?"

Hugging her, he rested his chin on her shoulder as he murmured, "I may or may not have looked at your bra that was drying in the utility room."

"You're such a pervert."

"Yeah?" Clearly he did not mind being called a 'pervert' by his girlfriend.

"Yes."

"Well…" he nuzzled his nose against her jawline, before saying, "your perverted boyfriend hopes you might wear his thoughtful and sentimental gift the next time you see him."

She held the side of his head, and brought him closer to her. "Only for him to then take it off?"

Natsume liked where this was going. "Of course. After all, he loves Polka-Dots." Ah. She showed her appreciation by kissing him, promising wordlessly that she would indulge in her boyfriend's hopeful request. He was witty, smart, caring and all her's.

Quite unfortunately, Aoi walked into the room at the point, and at the sight of polka-dots, Polka-Dots and her brother, her mouth fell open. It was strange, ironic and perhaps fatalistic – as all those years ago, it had been Natsume Hyuuga, not Aoi Hyuuga, who had walked in unannounced, only to be mortified at the sight of polka-dots.

"Onii-chan!" Aoi cried. She knew it! After all these years! "You _are_ a pervert!"

Deciding he did not want to lose, he turned the past back on her, "Aoi! How could you!"

Confused, "Wha—"

" _This_ is why you're not allowed to come into my room unless you knock. Aoi, you pervert – stop peeking."

Her jaw dropped further. "Natsume, you _did not_ just—" her pitch was high, tone incredulous.

"Stop peeking, Aoi." Natsume's teasing smile towards his sister was victorious.

Aoi 'hmph'-ed at her brother and sent him a scathing look before she closed the door behind her, but not without casting him one final look. Mikan knew that look all too well – she was plotting. She did not like losing, especially to her brother. He had won this fight, but she was going to win the war, Mikan was sure.

"That was mean." Mikan reprimanded him, but resumed stroking his hair.

"Nah, that was _karma._ "

* * *

The rest of the Squad had come down, and were outside too to bid the boys and Mikan's boyfriend/Aoi's brother a goodbye. Natsume had already heaved his suitcase in the back, and was leaning against his car; both wishing Luca would hurry up and wishing that he could stay here with Mikan longer.

She was laughing with her friends, he saw, and he rather dimly wondered what his father would say when he told him that he was dating Mikan.

"Hurry up, Luca!" Mochu barked from the car – he was already seated, waiting, restless. "I need to be back in Tokyo in three hours or else my boss will literally squeeze my balls off with his bare fuckin' hands!"

"I need to buy the new volume of _Attack on Titan_ ," Koko also stuck his head out of the car window, whining, "move yo ass, Luca!"

"Here, Luca –" Aoi stepped forward, with a hand out, and spoke to him kindly unlike his two friends, "let me help you."

"Thanks, Aoi."

She smiled at him. "That's fine."

Together, they dumped the suitcase in the trunk, and together the swung shut the door. Luca gratefully looked at Aoi, before he suddenly remarked, "You've got a leaf in your hair." And being the gentleman he was, he pulled the green leaf out of her ebony hair.

"Oh," she took the leaf, "thanks, I guess." She smiled at him once again.

Taking this as an opportunity to rub salt in the karmic wound, Natsume piped up, "Oi! Aoi, stop _flirting_ with Luca!" Oh how he loved to give his little sister the taste of her own medicine!

Aoi's smile disappeared, and she whipped her neck in her brother's direction, only to glare severely at him. But then, a rather lofty and devious look replaced her angry one. And before anyone could say 'stop-flirting', Aoi planted a kiss on Luca's lips. It was a quick peck, and soon after this little kiss, she turned back to the stunned Natsume (his eyes were wide, and his jaw open) before triumphantly saying, with a cruel smile, " _That's_ what flirting is, Natsume. Honestly Natsume, if you were more like _me_ and less like a wuss you could have gotten Mikan's attention much, much sooner." She turned to Luca, who was bright red. "Have a safe trip, Luca- _pyon_."

"P-Pyon?"

"Aoi!" Natsume walked to his wily little sister, his nose flaring. "How—"

Mikan intervened at this point: laughing, she grabbed his arms, and pulled him back towards his car. "Alright, _wuss_ , time for you to go home."

"Yeah, my balls depend on it!" Mochu joked, but he laughed and clapped when Luca, still blushing, came crawling into the car, silent. Koko wolf-whistled, and patted Luca's back, before he called out through the window, "Aoi, you're my hero!"

Mikan had succeeded in getting Natsume back into his car. He still looked stunned – as if he were still processing that his little sister had just kissed his best friend; processing, not quite believing. Mikan brought him back by kissing the side of his head. "Drive safe."

He looked at her. He still looked a bit lost. Smiling, she kissed her wuss of a boyfriend on the lips. That seemed to ground him. "I'll see you soon." She whispered, as she stretched her arms in his arm through the window to hug his neck. "And I'll wear your gift then, I promise."

Natsume turned the ignition on, and the car then filled with 60s music.

He glanced once more at Aoi, before turning all of his attention on his girlfriend. "I'll call you when I'm back in Tokyo."

"You do that."

They kissed once more before Natsume pushed the acceleration, and soon, his car was rolling away. And Mikan waved, and watched the car disappear into the green mountain. The wind blew, whistling the goodbye they did not want to say to each other. And then she felt warmth – her friends were by her side now.

Mikan looked at Aoi, "You're amazing."

She flicked her hair. "I know."

"And you love terrorizing your brother far too much."

"I know." Aoi smirked. She had won this war, everyone knew that much. But it was Natsume who had won Mikan's heart that summer, in the mountains, far away from the city, with the help of certain games and thanks to the delicious summer wine.

* * *

 **A/N:** I plan to write a short **epilogue** , fear not! I'll update that tomorrow :) So not goodbye yet, my friends.


	14. Potato

**A/N** : An Epilogue, as so many of you asked for a time-skip.

 **Potato**

* * *

 _2021_

She was not thirty yet. She was twenty-six. He was past thirty now. He was thirty-one. They were not _so_ old, but older. She was working now. He was still working. And they both indeed lived in a small apartment in Tokyo. Small, cosy and comfortable. They owned a goldfish called Peko. And every morning, except for Sundays, Mikan tried to finish the crosswords whilst eating breakfast – she had only twice managed to finish it before she had to leave to work. Except for these two days, Natsume finished the crosswords, and often left a smug smiley face under the crossword (sometimes even a cruel 'ha-ha') for Mikan to see when she arrived home. Usually on Fridays, she reconvened with the Squad at Anna's, whom were all working too. So, not wanting to stare at the clock, waiting for her to come back home, he would go to Luca's.

He was still both Aoi's brother and Mikan's lover.

And this happened one spring evening.

Natsume was watching television; he was lazily lying down on the couch. He hoped to watch the movie he had been itching to watch tonight with his girlfriend, but she was taking her long sweet time in the bathroom, most likely washing her hair, and patting her face with creams that Sumire had recommended.

After a while, he heard the door of their bathroom click open and heard her soft footsteps making their way to the living room, where he was.

"Um… Natsume?" Her voice was apprehensive.

"Hmm?" he was staring rather intently at the television, for they were showing an advertisement for a coffee machine. When she didn't respond, he looked at her. When seeing her rather pale face, he stood up straight on the sofa. "What? What's wrong?"

She pressed her lips together. Then, "Remember how we decided, after seeing Mochu's kid, that all babies look like potatoes?"

He stared at her, confused. Slowly, "Yeah…"

Baby faces were squishy, squashed and adorable - like a potato.

"Well…" Mikan swallowed. "… um, well… do you like potatoes?"

He frowned. "You know I do. You always buy me crisps and McDonald's chips."

She walked towards him, and sat down, before saying, "No, Natsume… I mean, would you like a _certain_ potato? Would you mind a squishy, squashed potato?"

Natsume was still completely lost, and regarded Mikan as if she were a complicated physics equation. Or maybe an alien.

Mikan thought she had left enough hints, and seeing his confusion irked her, and so she couldn't help but snap, "Oh for God's sake, Natsume! Potato! _Baby!_ Don't you understand that I'm trying to tell you that I'm pregnant?!"

Natsume shot up from the sofa, and gaped. "Pregnant?! Wait… _you?_ "

"Who else? Unless _you_ are too."

"Wait… with _my_ baby?!"

Mikan rolled her eyes slightly. "Who _else_ would have got me pregnant? Honestly Natsume, you can be so silly sometimes."

Natsume opened and closed his mouth. "I… We're going to be parents?!"

"Well, that's what happens when we have a baby, Natsume."

Natsume was stunned. He kept glancing from Mikan's face, to her tummy. To think, that under her clothes, under her skin, a little potato was growing there…! That thought changed everything. Suddenly Natsume understood their situation completely.

"You're going to be a daddy…" Mikan quietly said, her tone no longer patronising but rather nervous, and then stretched out her hand to hold Natsume's hand rather cautiously. "Do… do you mind?"

His hand, which remained limp for a second or two, now tightly held Mikan's fingers, and before she knew it, he had fallen beside her on the sofa and embraced her very tightly around her shoulders.

"I take it you're... okay with the news?"

"Okay?" he spoke not in his usual rumbling voice, instead, his pitch was higher, showing that not even his voice could contain the pure joy, pride and love that were all coursing, _pumping viciously,_ through his veins. "I'm not okay, I'm so… so _happy_! " He couldn't quite find the right word – nothing in his vocabulary could probably convey to Mikan how he was feeling. "Fuck I don't believe – _Fuck!_ " He beamed at her, and hugged her again.

Mikan bit her lip however. She was glad he took the news so well, but some part of her heart still held fear despite the relief: would she be a good mother?

Natsume then gazed endearingly at her tummy, and put his big hand there. "Our potato!" He was _cooing_ , and Mikan's worry faded slightly. He then looked at her, with his hand still stroking her tummy. "How far along are you?"

"I'm not sure – Nonoko," who was now a pharmacist, "gave me every single pregnancy tests she could get her hands on. I tried them all out, and got positive plus sign from them all. So I haven't been to the doctors yet. I only noticed two days ago that I skipped my period, and I never usually do. And then I remembered that I was feeling nauseous—"

"Every time you smelt the okonomiyaki sauce…" Natsume finished for her, with a tone of new-found understanding.

Both of them had found it very strange, when around two weeks ago, maybe three, they had gone to an okonomiyaki restaurant, and as soon as she stepped in, Mikan ran to the toilet, retching just from the smell of the sweet sauce that permeated throughout the restaurant. This was very odd, for Mikan, who's grandfather was a Kansai man, usually loved Kansai food, but after that night, she couldn't bear to think of, let alone smell the sweet sauce, and so had thrown away all the okonomiyaki sauce bottles that were in their fridge.

"When did it happen? How, even?" Natsume's question was valid – Mikan had been taking precautions: she diligently took contraceptives, for Natsume (and even she) disliked using condoms when intimate with each other, they discovered within the first week of Mikan's arrival back to Tokyo from Karuizawa, all those years ago. This potato, this baby, was completely unplanned – as if they had gone to McDonalds, ordered a cheese burger, but found that in their paper bag, there was an unordered portion of chips. And just because they hadn't ordered it, Mikan was worried that Natsume might reject it, but she was infinitely relieved that he not only accepted, but graciously welcomed the potato chips.

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out."

"I bet it was sometime in February. It was so cold we spent most nights in. That means we'll have a November baby! Like me! Do you think it's a boy or girl?" He was absolutely bursting with remarks and questions.

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out."

Natsume finally noticed that Mikan was not, at least outwardly excited as he was, which was very odd as Mikan was usually the expressive one. He frowned. "Wait. Are _you_ okay? Are you worried or something?"

"Of course I'm worried," she hugged her boyfriend, seeking comfort, "I mean… we're still so young—"

"Mochu had his kid three years ago. He was twenty-eight. _I'm_ thirty-one—"

"I'm twenty-six. It's as if I just started working. And I'm worried I don't earn enough to support a child—"

" _Our_ child," Natsume corrected, "will be supported by _both_ of us."

Mikan hugged Natsume tighter, gratefully. "I know… I am happy, I promise. It's just that I'm a bit worried too. Maybe it's the hormones, I don't know. Maybe I'm finally growing up."

Natsume pressed his lips to the top of her hair, and kept them resting there, even when saying, "What else are you worried about? Please tell me."

"I… I'm scared I won't be a good mother. And what if our child is bullied?" She was thinking far too ahead in the future, but Natsume listened to her worries, knowing them to be real, at least for her. He did not want to put her down – he valued and respected her feelings after all. "What if our child hates this home? What if our child makes no friends?" At that, Mikan felt tears slightly sting her eyes, "A-And things are going so great between us… I'm so scared that we might change when we become parents."

Natsume soothed her by stroking her hair with one hand, and her tummy with another all whilst softly kissing the top of her head. "You're going to be a great mother, Mikan. Even better than my mother, I know it. We'll raise our child well – as best we can. We'll buy a bigger place, so our kid can have a room, far away from our's so he or she won't have to hear us having sex every night."

Mikan laughed at that. Natsume was so good at making her feel better.

"And," Natsume continued, smiling, now seeing that Mikan seemed brighter, "don't worry about your job. It's 2021 – not 2001, or even 1950 for that matter. Times have changed. You won't become a housewife, confined home to raise the kid all by yourself whilst I'm at work. We'll both work, both cook and clean and both raise our kid. And if money becomes an issue at some point, I'll ask Pa if I could rent out our house in Karuizawa. I'll do everything I can. I promise you, Mikan. I promise."

Mikan nodded, and turned inwards to face Natsume and put her head in his chest.

He hugged her again, and allowed her to calm down a bit more – but he couldn't help it, he was just too happy and too excited: he burst out, "I'm going to be a dad! Hey, have you told Aoi? I've got to call Pa."

"I haven't told anyone yet. Nonoko, I guess, but I haven't confirmed it to her yet. You're the first."

"Let's call them!" Natsume exclaimed, and stood up in search of his phone. "My God, she's going to be aunt! And my dad a granddad, Jesus. And your parents! Jii-chan too… Mikan, my God, he'll be a _great_ granddad!"

Mikan slightly groaned, but smiled, "My Jii-chan is going to kill me when he finds out that I'm having a kid out of wedlock."

"Oh?" Natsume looked back to look at her. "Shall we get married then?"

Natsume always (since he asked her out, she noticed) always _always_ , had a knack of asking conventionally important questions in an enormously casual manner. Once again, his tone was blasé – as if he had just asked her what she ate Anna's for dinner last week, instead of asking her to _marry_ so spend the rest of her life with him. He had just effin' proposed!

"You're unbelievable!" Mikan said, shaking her head, with a laugh.

His phone now in his hand, he walked back over to his girlfriend with a smile playing on his face too. "I was going to ask you, but never got around to it. I mean, I already feel like we're married anyway. Just without the hassle of guests or paperwork."

" _Or_ the honeymoon…" Mikan pointed out.

Natsume smirked. "That can easily be arranged."

She laughed again but then said, "I agree." Mikan pulled him close to her when he sat back down on the sofa. She agreed both with his opinion, and with his proposal – she didn't have to clap her hands and scream "Yes!" for Natsume to know that she was going to marry him somewhere down the line.

Natsume was all over the place: he had only just sat down, got comfortable, but then he stood up rather abruptly. "Let's celebrate!" he walked to the small kitchen unit found behind the sofa. He rummaged around the fridge, but remembering Mikan could not drink alcohol, or any summer wine for the matter now that she held their child, he closed the fridge, and turned to the cupboards. Thirty seconds or so later, he came back to her, with a packet of potato crisps in his hand.

"To celebrate Potato, we shall eat potato crisps." He opened the packet, and then gave her a crisp, and held one himself. "To us and Potato!" He 'clinked' his potato against her's, and with giggles, Mikan too ate the crisp.

"You're so weird."

" _I_ am going to be a father!" was Natsume's response, before pulled more potatoes out of the bag to eat. When swallowing a mouthful however, he said, a rather pensive expression now on his face, rather seriously, "We're going to have to stop with all the junk food though. Our kid is not going to be some obese kid who only eats chips, cup noodles and deep-fried shit. We… we have to be healthy now."

It was as if this was a life-changing moment for Natsume – he was to become an _adult_ who actually ate vegetables willingly, not because he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he should somewhat participate in the 5-a-day rule.

Mikan patted her silly boyfriend, fiancé, even. "Don't worry. We can still have your Bolognese every other day."

He smiled at her, liking her optimism.

Then, Mikan put her hand to his cheek and said very sincerely, "You're going to be such a good dad, Natsume. I know it."

He grinned, and pride swelled within him. _This_ time, he believed her absolutely. She was his, and he was her's but soon they were going to have something that was their's and their's alone. The duo will soon become a trio, who knows, maybe even a quartet by next Christmas! And, my goodness he couldn't wait to tell his friends, especially that ass Mochu.

When Mikan and Natsume had first gone to visit Mochu's kid, Kurumi, a new born girl, three years ago, both Natsume and Mikan, and Luca and Koko too marveled at the new life, appreciating and thinking it so strange that two people could really create another human being, who would one day grow up.

Mochu told all of his best friends, and Mikan, that they should hold baby Kurumi to say hello, and when Mikan passed the sleeping Kurumi to Natsume, Natsume took her very carefully. Only when Mochu started to raucously laugh, which was soon joined by everyone else, even Mochu's wife, did Natsume realise he was doing something wrong.

"Why are you holding her so awkwardly?" Mikan had laughed at him, from beside him. "Here – like _this_. You're holding her as if she's a bomb!"

But she was so small! And he was so nervous to hold her!

And then, Mochu had said _it_ through fits of chortles, "You're going to be such an awkward father, Natsume!"

That night, Mikan noticed how moody Natsume was – he grunted all night whenever she asked him something, and at 8pm told her, rather moodily, that he was going to bed. She knew all too well that he was upset both at Mochu _and_ at himself (more himself) – he was a child at heart, after all, and with a resigned sigh, Mikan had followed her boyfriend to their bedroom. He had his back turned to her as he was facing the wall, in juvenile defiance. She knew he was not asleep, so she had sat on the bed beside him, and started to stroke his hair. Then, she softly said, "I'm sorry I laughed at you today."

He grunted yet again.

Biting back the sigh, Mikan had continued, "Don't take Mochu's words to heart, Natsume. You'll be a great dad one day, don't worry."

He grumbled this time.

Mikan then lay down next to her silly, childish boyfriend and spooned him.

He was still brooding, for the next thing he had said was, "Kurumi looked like a potato."

Mikan snorted but then reprimanded him; "Don't take it out on his kid, Natsume. But," she slowly said, "I agree. But I don't think that's just Kurumi though. All babies look like potatoes."

"Babies are potatoes." Natsume had then decided.

But he had still continued to brood, and so Mikan decided it was time to bring Plan B onto the bed: her boyfriend was a simple man – children often kiss or ask their mothers to kiss their bruises to make themselves feel better, and Natsume was no different: kissing, embracing and definitely sex were enough to turn Natsume's bad mood into a good mood, she had discovered, and so decided it was time to kiss him better.

She had rubbed her body hard against him, before murmuring in his ears, "You know Natsume… only time will tell whether you'll be a great father, but I _can_ tell you _now_ that you're _really, really, really_ good at the whole making-a-baby business," by that, he knew she meant sex, and rather immediately, pleased with her compliments, he turned now to face her, "I mean," her voice was low and husky, and Natsume felt himself swell when he realized she was using her bedroom voice, and seeing the way her body pressed against his, "you're just _amazing._ "

And when he had kissed her back with equal vigour, and grabbed her tightly around the waist, to then roll her on top of him, Mikan knew that her kiss did make him feel better, that she was forgiven and that Natsume had forgotten about Mochu's comments.

She was victorious. He was really a simple man. And she loved this simple man so much.

But here they were now, three years later, a few months away from having their very own potato, and Natsume had complete faith, despite Mikan's own very small doubts about herself, that they were going to be great parents.

Back in 2015, when they both imagined themselves in the future, a baby was far, far away from their minds. But now, as they started to kiss each other, with Natsume rubbing her tummy very warmly, their minds were absolutely brimming with thoughts of a child – _their_ child. A few minutes ago, Natsume wanted to tell all his friends, her friends and their families the joyful news – indeed, he would have even shouted it from the balcony, to announce and hail the coming birth of his baby Potato! (All hail Potato!) But now that they were showing how much they loved each other with strokes, whispers and kisses, he just wanted to be with his family tonight. When stumbling to their bedroom, Natsume closed the curtains, shutting out the outside world away. Tonight, it will just be them and them alone.

Aunt Aoi can find out tomorrow. This time, for now, both Mikan and his baby were his little precious secret.

Oh, how he couldn't wait to meet his child.

* * *

 **A/N:** I know, omg, so corny but for some damn reason, I'm just feeling so corny myself! Maybe it's _my_ hormones, haha. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this lovey-dovey-kissy-wissy-smoochie-woochie Epilogue!

And thus I conclude **Summer Wine**! I hope you all enjoyed it. I really enjoyed writing it. I'm sad that my summer is ending now, but in a wistful sort of way; I've come to accept it through the arrival of the rain.

 **Thank you all so much for your reviews! I'm so grateful, honestly.**

And for all those who are patiently waiting for **Resistance** , fear not, I will be updating that (maybe once uni starts again and I'm bored out of my mind in lectures) sooner rather than later.

Goodbye Summer!

Thanks for reading,  
Lady Sosostris


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